The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Questions that I have gotten in the last month…

1. “Do you have an non-aspirin aspirin?”

- Are you fucking kidding me? Where’s the decaffeinated caffeine? It’s the same concept which you cannot understand. I wish the people of the world would think about each word they speak before it comes out of their mouth as mindless dribble. If they did, I guarantee there’d be a more kind people and a lot less pissed-off-me.

2. “Where’s the [insert item here]?”

- Listen. Morons of America, it’s called SHOPPING. This store sells many, many items. Rather than LOOK, you want me to tell you exactly where the antacid is. On top of that, you want me to tell you which one is best (and in your mind, best means most expensive…NOT generic equivalent).

3. “Do you have any Benzene I could buy?”

- Whoa, there, future murder suspect! I told this jackhole that Benzene is a carginogenic liquid used to burn lamps in Britain. They realized it was really nasty stuffed and it hasn’t been used since. His response? His wife sent him over to get it. She wants to chew on it like gum. I shutter, cringe, and cry on the inside as I send him to the candy aisle instructing him to by Dentyne Ice. I should have suggested that he buy a box of rubbers so as not to reproduce any more little fucking idiots.

That’s all I got for right now. I’ll crank out a few more over the next few beers….enjoy!

~The Angriest Pharmacist

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