The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Attention old people – do not be pricks

As I think I’ve said before, I have to work the register every now and again. I don’t like it, but I do it anyway. I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that old people are real jackasses with their money. Rather than take their stack of one dollar bills (I’m assuming they are on their way to the tittie-bar) and hand it to me they toss it scattering the bills all over the counter. My response: Slowly as possible, I pick up each bill one-by-one. I straighten them, flatten them, and sort them accordingly. Depending on the quantity, I sometimes put them in the drawer one at a time as well. I doubt that these inconsiderate assholes even notice I’m taking my sweet time, but it makes me feel better.

Then there’s the other breed, plastic users. Yes, you fucking prick, I see that you have a credit card. Is it necessary for you to toss the card at me? I have a “self-swiper” for a reason. I don’t swipe it, you do! How to I fix this situation? As awkwardly as possible I lean over the counter and swipe the card in the easily accessible self-swiper on the opposite side of the counter. That usually gets them, but they only feign giving a shit with a half-hearted, “Oops, I didn’t realize…” (These aren’t necessarily old people, but studies show that most old people are jackasses with plastic as well.)

Finally, we have a whole new breed of cocksucker. This asshole is so proud that he has a credit/debit card that he *snaps* the card on the counter, so everyone in a 25-foot radius knows he has some plastic and intends on using it, by flicking one corner against the counter. I counter this situation a little differently than the afformentioned “credit-card-cocksucker,” I usually give them a resonating, “BIG MAN! Swipe that there you dog, you!”

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