Man, it was an EVENTFUL day…

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Me being a dick, Rude, True Story

Today’s posts are, for the most part, not pharmacy related. I was at work when both of them occurred, but they don’t have anything to do with pharmacy. The first happened when I was heading out for my lunch break. I was walking towards our “break room” area and commented aloud that, “Man, it smells like rotten ass back here!” A non-pharmacy employee replied, “What did you say???” (As if she were really offended by the word ‘ass’) I couldn’t see how anyone could be offended by my humorous comment (because it REEKED) so I repeated, “It smells like rotten ass back here!” I continued and ate my lunch in a record 14 minutes (counting microwave time!). When I returned to work I was approached by the store manager who wanted to speak in private. They were told about my comment, and it’s ‘inappropriate nature’. The store manager then told me that someone spilled something pungent in the back room. “So, you agree that it smelled like rotten ass then?” (She nodded because I was right) “So what’s the problem then??” She just told me I’d better watch my language. I told her that my suggestions for “Mrs. Fragile Ears” were:
A) Realize that we’re in a rough neighborhood where the 12-year olds use worse language than that.
B) Get a fucking sense of humor.
C) Come to grips with the fact that I am an adult and I can say whatever the hell I want.
D) Not challenge someone that is out of her paygrade.

Okay, I made the suggestions up, but that bitch better be on her best behavior. If I hear here so much as utter the word ’shit’ under her breath I’ll see that she gets a good dressing down. I was really pissed off when this happened.

-=+=-

The next story is just as funny, but once again, I crossed the line. In fact, this time I got on a plane and took a long trip over the line. I was heading to my car after my shift was over. I strutted out into the lot when a huge Dodge ram with obscenely large tires and a ridiculous lift kit approached me. I went on across the PEDESTRIAN crossing area and rather than stop, this dickhead revved his engine and floored it forward. He almost hit me! He was being a jackass and telling me I should have waited. Well, I didn’t take too kindly to his fuckwad-gesture so I hurled my soda-can (which was half full) at his head (which was about 10 feet above mine). I missed my mark and hit the side of his door. Soda splashed everywhere and the can fell with a resounding thud. Soda continued to spill out once it was on the ground. He was not happy. I realized I had made a mistake because of several reasons.

1. Guys that drive trucks like that can (and do) kick people’s asses.
2. He had a bumper sticker that said, “Ain’t Skeered” - And he wasn’t.
3. I’m wearing a pair of slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie. He was wearing jeans, a wife beater, and a flannel hat. His clothes alone were man enough to kick my ass. His tattoos were just overkill.
4. I’m about 6′3″ and 200 pounds. He was about 6′5″ and 350 pounds.
5. I had on my pharmacy manager nametag…ugh!

How did I handle the situation? Like a true idiot-bastard-pussy. I yelled, “Sorry,” turned, tucked tail, and ran to my car. I hopped in, fired up the engine, and floored it for home.

I just hope he didn’t see the nametag, recognize me, or realize that my soda left a little dent in his door…

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