The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

I guess I’m a dick anywhere I go…

Posted on July 2, 2007

I went to Sams after work today. I need to buy some stuff. I waited in line for 15 minutes to get a "temporary card." I never carry my card with me for some reason. I wasn't so mad then. It was my fault and people wanted to return stuff...it was my own doing. [Anger level = 2/10]

I found what I wanted, but I'm not the most electronically minded person in the world. I had some questions. I waited for 10 minutes for someone to come help me out. I was kind of mad at this point. But, I found what I wanted. [Anger level = 5/10]

I carried my items to the checkout where I had to wait in line for 15 more minutes. There were 3 cashiers and each line had 25 people in it...I shit you not. It really made me mad that no attempts were made (that I could see) to get more cashiers to the registers. I'm well aware of what it's like to be understaffed...but, I promise you this: when I am understaffed, when people are waiting at my register to SPEND MONEY I do whatever it takes to ring them out. I'll even work a register myself. [Anger level = 7/10]

What did I have to do after I finally go rang out? These fuckers wanted me to wait in another ridiculously long line so some 75-year old man could look at my items and run a highlighter down my receipt. I had a few problems with this. 1) How could this man tell if I were stealing shit by glancing at carts of 100s of items with merely his eyes and an all-powerful highlighter? and 2) There's no way to get past the registers with unpaid items. It's all sealed off! Without being a complete thief, there's no way. If you're going to steal, nothing will stop you. [Anger level = 9/10]

So, what did I do? I said fuck it. I'd already been in the damn store for 45 minutes to spend 30 bucks. I walked right the fuck on by 30 people. I'd already paid. I had my receipt. I didn't need some old man to "release" me from the store. Screw that.

The old man saw me and strafed over in front of me.

"You have to wait in line like everyone else for me to check your receipt."

"Screw you old man. I've been in this store for 45 minutes. I don't need you to check my receipt to make sure I'm not shoplifting. I'm not waiting in line any more...especially after I already paid, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it..." [Anger level = 9.5/10]

"I am checking to make sure that everything got rung out as well as ensuring that nothing got rang out twice...and I can do something. I can call store security."

"That's bogus. I watched as my ONE FUCKING ITEM GOT RANG OUT. It got rang out. And, go right-the-fuck-ahead and call store security. They can find me at my car. Now get out of my way, or I'm going to steamroll you, Father Time." [Anger level = 11/10]

I'm a big guy. I'm 6'3" with an athletic build. I'm not overweight, but I've got a big build. Mr. Osteoporosis got right out of my way. He called store security. I saw the two of them run into the parking lot as I was putting it in drive looking around for someone with a guilty conscience. They can eat my dust and my ass. I'll never wait in that line again...just to go against the grain.

I'm not sure what I would have said if the store security/management would have gotten to me before I got to my car. Whatever it was, it would have involved me punching one of them in the face and kicking the other in the nuts...

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