More random stories from the abyss…

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Me being a dick, PSE, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

A lady came to the counter day that was 120 if she was a day old. She asked me where the per-mints were. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. I ask her what they were for, and she looked at me like I’d asked her where babies come from. “You put it in your hair and it makes your hair curly…” I realized what she meant at this point. Before I could get out a syllable of direction, she turned her head and began screaming at the top of her lungs, “RUTH! RUTH! RUUUTH!” — I was expecting the Babe himself to be walking down the aisle. She scampered off after the phantom, “Ruth.” I was fully expecting a camera crew to come spring a practical joke on me…

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Again…when I ask someone, “Have you filled here before?” The answer I’m looking for is NOT, “Well, not this one…” — Duh…I’m holding the prescription…

Why are you retarded?

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Some rando came in today and wanted two boxes of twenty-four-hour Sudafed. He bought one yesterday as well. His NON-DRIVER license address is 20 miles away - I confirmed with him that it was correct. I told him that two was over the limit, just as it was yesterday when he asked. I also asked him what happened to the box from yesterday. He lost it.

Aside: Normally I don’t ask. Hell, most people I tell to come back tomorrow and again the next day and get their month supply in three days so they don’t have to worry about it. This joker had black shit under his fingernails, major meth mouth, was wearing a doo-rag, had long hair, and was covered in tattoos. Yes, I am aware that he has sinuses as well, but he passed 10 pharmacies to get to mine two days in a row (one of those days being a Sunday) to try and purchase 24-hr Sudafed.

Anyway, I was in a dick mood - go figure - and I told him that I was out. He looked at the shelf and pointed, “It’s right there.” I told him I didn’t feel comfortable making the sale since he bought it yesterday and he’s from so far away from home. He then told me that I was required by law to make the sale. He could have me arrested! I said I wasn’t aware of the law, and I offered to call the police to come nab me for the criminal I am…then we would see who they would want to arrest…He declined…

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Speaking of an above note - what’s the deal with NON-DRIVER ID CARDS? I’d say that around 30-40% of my Sudafed sales are to people flinging over a non-driver id card instead of a valid drivers license. I know it’s state issued and used for stuff like that, but it seems weird to me. I know that this people didn’t just magically teleport to my pharmacy — they fucking drove. They don’t have a license….I don’t like it at all…

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I filled a script today for a cat. Lantus and syringes…to the tune of 120-something dollars…”Mommy” came in to pick up schnuckum’s scripts. I shit you not, this lady paid me in one-dollar bills. 121 one-dollar bills. I said nothing. I merely smiled. She told me that “she was not a stripper…she was a bartender…and her boss wouldn’t let her change out the ones for larger bills…” Where was she a bartender? A nearby strip club…