Pseudoephedrine sucks big, floppy donkey dick »

Aug

When the question is…The Answer is…

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Stupid People, Work Sucks

Do you want to pick this up today?

The Answer: No, I don’t need it until tomorrow.

Do you have an insurance card?

The Answer: Sure! Here is the most recent copy. I threw the old ones away.
The Answer is NOT: OTHER PHARMACY has it.

Do you have any allergies?

The Answer: No.
The Answer: Yes, here’s a printed out list and what happened I keep in my wallet/purse.
The Answer is NOT: Penicillin gave me hives or Augmentin gave me diarrhea (I know - I don’t expect laypersons to know the difference, that’s my job)

Have you filled at PHARMACY before?

The Answer: No I am new to this chain OR
The Answer: Yes, I filled at this store before.
The Answer is NOT: Not these Prescriptions.
The Answer is NOT: I don’t know. (You should know where you’ve been)
The Answer is NOT: It’s in the computer.

Do you have a prescription to pick up?

The Answer: Yes, John Smith.
The Answer is NOT: Yes, John Smith on Picadilly Avenue. 3-19-1961. Xanax. Called in yesterday by Dr. Smith. Is it ready yet? (Did I ask for that information you just threw out?)

What’s your phone number?

The Answer: 909-555-2322
The Answer is NOT: 55-52-32-2. Area Code 909. (There’s a rhythm, fool)

What’s your Birthday?

The Answer: March 19th, 1961.
The Answer is NOT: 1961. 19th day. 3rd month. (Wrong order, numnuts.)

What doctor did you see today?

The Answer: His name was Dr. John Smith.
The Answer is NOT: I don’t know. He was an idiot. (You should know. If he’s an idiot, why the hell are you going to fill it?)

How do you spell that last name?

The Answer: S-M-I-T-H
The Answer is NOT: It’s on the prescription. (Why would I ask if it were so obvious?)

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Or Print it...

Or Print it...

Dave G says August 10th, 2007 at 1:30 pm

What’s your Birthday?

NOT: “the first, the fifth, fortyfith” (Jan 5, 1945)

Kelly says August 10th, 2007 at 3:26 pm

Do you have any drug allergies?

NOT: um…hayfever (obviously you’re not paying attention idiot)

Matt says August 10th, 2007 at 4:19 pm

Which doctor did you see?

NOT: It’s on the script, can’t you tell? (Why would I ask if I could read his/her chickenscratch?)

Susan says August 12th, 2007 at 8:16 am

Have we filled prescriptions for YOU before?
Not Yeah, for my daughter. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.

Me: Your date of birth is probably different from your daughter’s, so I need to know it if you want your insurance to pay.

healthmate says August 14th, 2007 at 5:33 pm

Date of Birth?
March 15.
What Year?
Every Year.

Kelly says September 2nd, 2007 at 11:55 am

Here’s a great phone call…

“Pharmacy, can I help you?”

“Yes, the directions on my medicine say take one tablet twice a day….that means I take two at once right?”

“No, when we want you to take two at once, we write it to say…take 2 tablets once a day. You need to take one tablet twice a day…do you understand???”

“Umm, I think so”

Idiot

Susan says September 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 pm

“Take one tablet every night at bedtime.”

“Yeah, but how many times a day?”

(How many times a day do you go to bed?)

navykeg says September 2nd, 2007 at 8:05 pm

~Yes I’m picking up a prescription for my daughter.

(me) Okay, well, I’m very sorry but at the moment we have no sudafed in stock, we should have some more tomorrow after 12, we can go ahead and fill it then. (Kepp in mind…this RX is from our emergency room!)

~What do you mean you can’t fill it till tomorrow? I’m not coming back! It’s supposed to snow tonight and I DO NOT DRIVE IN SNOW!!!

(me) Well, ma’am, if that is the case then I suggest that you swing by the store on the way home tonight and pay $2 for a box of sudafed for your daughter.

~PAY? Are you crazy? I’m not paying for ANYTHING, that’s why I came here! No, you are going to go talk to the doctor and make him change it to the liquid then!

(me) No, that’s not my responsibility, if you wnat your 16 yeah old to take the liquid, you must ask the doctor to change it.

(A battle has now ensues which ends with me in the ER, talking to the doctor about how I would like to have this bitch drawn and quartered….but, you guessed it…she walked away with 2 bottles of childrens sudafed and a highly embarrassed 16 year old)

bring on the scotch

Kate says February 20th, 2008 at 1:27 am

I usually ask if the patient has any allergies to medications, this usually weeds out the hayfever, dog/cat allergies. Usually…