Pseudoephedrine sucks big, floppy donkey dick
I absolutely hate PSE. If I could fake a study and say it causes cancer and heart attacks, I wouldn't hesitate a second. Here's the most enlightening thing you'll hear all day, I know how to fix the problem.
PSE cannot be sold anymore in it's pure salt form.
Done.
Combo drugs are okay. People cooking meth will have a hell of a time trying to extract loratadine, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, or a -pheniramine from the pseudoephedrine. I would doubt it could be done...if it's possible, it wouldn't be easy or cost-effective.
You want pure PSE? Get a script. Make it a legend drug...it doesn't need to be controlled - then all the NP and FNPs wouldn't be able to prescribe it.
Seriously - how hard is that solution?
Why isn't it done yet?
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When the question is…The Answer is…
Do you want to pick this up today?
The Answer: No, I don't need it until tomorrow.
Do you have an insurance card?
The Answer: Sure! Here is the most recent copy. I threw the old ones away.
The Answer is NOT: OTHER PHARMACY has it.
Do you have any allergies?
The Answer: No.
The Answer: Yes, here's a printed out list and what happened I keep in my wallet/purse.
The Answer is NOT: Penicillin gave me hives or Augmentin gave me diarrhea (I know - I don't expect laypersons to know the difference, that's my job)
Have you filled at PHARMACY before?
The Answer: No I am new to this chain OR
The Answer: Yes, I filled at this store before.
The Answer is NOT: Not these Prescriptions.
The Answer is NOT: I don't know. (You should know where you've been)
The Answer is NOT: It's in the computer.
Do you have a prescription to pick up?
The Answer: Yes, John Smith.
The Answer is NOT: Yes, John Smith on Picadilly Avenue. 3-19-1961. Xanax. Called in yesterday by Dr. Smith. Is it ready yet? (Did I ask for that information you just threw out?)
What's your phone number?
The Answer: 909-555-2322
The Answer is NOT: 55-52-32-2. Area Code 909. (There's a rhythm, fool)
What's your Birthday?
The Answer: March 19th, 1961.
The Answer is NOT: 1961. 19th day. 3rd month. (Wrong order, numnuts.)
What doctor did you see today?
The Answer: His name was Dr. John Smith.
The Answer is NOT: I don't know. He was an idiot. (You should know. If he's an idiot, why the hell are you going to fill it?)
How do you spell that last name?
The Answer: S-M-I-T-H
The Answer is NOT: It's on the prescription. (Why would I ask if it were so obvious?)
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Something NEW to gripe about…
I've never complained about this, and I'm not sure anyone else has either. Regardless, this little thing we deal with every day has really started to irritate me.
Phone systems at doctors offices. Why do I have to call one? For Pete's sake, get an alternate line that is just an answering machine. Don't give that number out. Say in the message for pharmacies only. If someone random calls on it, leave it, and laugh!
On top of that, why the fuck does every doctor's message have to be the same once you get to the pharmacy line?
"This is Peggy at Dr. John Smith's office. I'm either unavailable, on the line, or away from my desk. If this is an emergency, please hang up, and dial 911. If this is a pharmacy leaving a refill request, please leave the patient's name, date of birth, doctor's name, drug name (spelling out any difficult drug names), strength, quantity, sig, last fill, pharmacy name, and call back number. Refills will be processed in 24 to 48 hours. For your convenience, our fax number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Have a Blessed day."
Fucking. Crap.
Here's what I want to hear:
"This is Peggy at Dr. John Smith's office. Leave me a message with all applicable details. I will get back to you as soon as possible."
Bada-bing, bada-boom. Short, sweet, and to the point.
One thing I learned quickly, PRESS ONE! Sometimes, you will skip all that bullshit and just hear a beep. You can start talking! Other times, you're fucked. The retarded message will just start over. Double-hosed...
I've been doing this for years. I know what info to leave, you don't need to tell me what to leave. If someone doesn't know what info to leave, they really don't need to be calling...period. You don't need to tell people to call 911 if there's an emergency. If I have an emergency, you can guaran-fucking-tee I'm not calling a nurse of all people. I'd hope most people have 911 engrained in their sub-conscious. Hell, I'm sure most babies are born knowing that.
Anyway - all nurses: Fix this shit. I get you off of the phone with me as fast as possible and you make me sift through your stuttering, asinine, commands....fucking weak.
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