The lost art of throwing a fart

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Disgusting, Me being a dick

Girls: Stop reading now. You will be so offended by this post you will want to hunt me down and kill me with your bare hands. As erotic as I find that, I don’t want to be dead yet.

Guys: Take notes. This is a way to piss off any tech, befriend a good tech, and get rid of the bitch tech that wears too much makeup and takes herself to seriously. Pharmacists are up in the air (literally) — usually depends on marital status, age, and level of bitch-osity.

Step 1: Work up a nasty turd whistle
Step 2: Cup hand
Step 3: Place hand over ass
Step 4: Release the beef
Step 5: Immediately ‘throw’ the fart towards the victim’s face
Step 6: Laugh uncontrollably as victim chokes on your death breath

For those that have mastered the art of the fart throw, there are some advanced techniques that you can explore.
Technique 1 — remove the filter. That’s right. A bare-assed grab, while disgusting, is much more worse in terms of stench. It’s also a million times more deplorable to the victim. They’ll want to kill themselves…guaranteed.

Technique 2a — Alternate areas of release. Rather than always aiming for your victim’s face, try aiming for somewhere more subtle, like their pocket. I enjoy placing my ass air in my old friend’s pockets so they can utilize it at their discretion later.

Technique 2b — If you can pull off the fart throw while holding a dollar bill, you can ensure a first timer gets the worst possible experience. Whilst placing the mud duck in their pocket, also place the dollar in there. They’ll immediately fish out the dollar and release your brown cloud directly into their lungs. Joy will ensue. Alternatively, they could save both for later.