Stop. Think. Shut the fuck up.

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Stupid People, True Story

I stopped at a gas station this evening. An attendant came rushing out to me, “WAIT!” he said. I asked him if the gas station was being robbed. It wasn’t. “We’re out of Regular. We only have Plus and Premium.”
“Okay, how much more is plus?”
“A dime.”
“Okay. Thanks!” [And I proceeded to fill up my measily 13-gallon tank.]

Before he could walk away, another car pulled up on the opposite side of the pump. He told the owner of the ‘05 or ‘06 Ford Explorer the same thing.

“What? You’ve GOT to be kidding me! I’m not paying that much more for fucking gas! That’s ridiculous. Can you give me Plus for the Regular gas price?” The poor kid’s response was great — “Of course not, but you’re welcome to wait an hour or so until the tanker is here if it’s that important to you…”

I went inside to get some gum and commend the 18-year old college student on the best burn I’d heard in a week. I then asked him if he’d really thought about the difference.

“Well, my old man owns this station, and he’s told me it’s a scam — that there’s really no difference in how the car runs. It just makes the emissions cleaner.” [I know nothing of cars, EPA, etc. So, Dad could be telling the truth or full of shit.]
“Let’s crunch the numbers. The nearest gas station is 5 miles right? [He nodded in acknowledgement.] That’s 10 miles round trip since it’s reasonable to think they are going to the interstate right next to us. That Explorer probably gets less than 15 miles to the gallon.
“If it gets that. Those things are gas hogs.”
“So 10 miles at 15 miles per gallon is 2/3 of a gallon. That Plus-gasoline costs $3.00 per gallon. So, it costs that person 2 bucks to get there and back to the interstate. If they had just filled up and paid 10 cents more per gallon, to fill up their 20-or-so gallon tank, it would have cost them 2 damn dollars.”
“HAHA. That’s great. I’ve never thought of it before.”
“So, they are no better off than I am paying 10 cents more per gallon here…except I’m about to go hit the interstate while they’re still driving to the other station.”
“Well, the joke is really on them. We use the same supplier as the station up the road. They are out too…So, rather than listen to me and driving off in anger — they’re gonna get there and have to get Plus either way…”
“Kid. I fucking love you. Have you ever thought about pharmacy school? Do you want a job?”I offered the kid a job where he could learn something, but he’s just home for the Winter Break. He’s studying Journalism at the state University. I hope he does well. He sure as shit made my night…

     Or Print it...