The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

So you are going to pharmacy school

I'm sure by now most of you have taken a look at my post on Advice for 2008 Pharmacy School Graduates. Needless to say, the post has been very popular and commented on extensively. It's also been added upon by some others in the Pharmacy Blogosphere, each adding some thoughts based on their career and personal experience. Not long after that gem hit the net, I got a request from PharmerBill, who wanted some advice for high school seniors embarking on Pharmacy School in August. Here we go...round 2!

NOTE: Most pharmacy schools are offering 6-year Pharm.D. degrees, whereas others offer a Pharmacy School program after achieving a 4-year degree and being accepted to the 4-year program. I went for 6 years and will refer to this as such. When I talk about 1st year or 2nd year, it's on a 6 year scale. Others would refer to this differently -- meaning they only consider pharmacy school as four years: P1, P2, P3, P4. So, when I say 'first year,' I mean 18/19 year olds taking basic general education stuff. On my scale, "pharmacy school" doesn't officially start until third year.

Point 1 - First year is a joke.
Point 2 - Since first year is a joke, get drunk, party, and study the night before exams and get pretty decent grades. However, remember, your first year grades do a lot to prop you up throughout the rest of your collegiate tenure. If you start to slip, stop-fucking-partying, and get on the ball. If you don't finish first year with above a 3.0, it's going to be a rough go for you.
Point 3 - Pharmacy School (3rd year and up) is a fucking bitch. Be prepared to fail, but don't fret -- the rest of your class is failing as well. Rack up all the points you can in labs, quizzes, and other stuff, as it will boost your grades as you get D- after D- on the test.
Point 4 - There will be those students that take a 50 question multiple choice test in 14 minutes. You are required to hate them. You must hate them because they are so incredibly smart that they know the answer after reading the first half of the question or because they are so incredibly stupid that they put C for every answer...and that's stupid (unless it boosts the curve -- if you're lucky enough to have a curve in ANY class -- in that case, praise them and get them drunk the night before exams)
Point 5 - Hate those that think, "Does anyone have any questions before we conclude for the day?" means, "Time to ask and asinine question that no one cares about and is only theoretical bullshit." They will be in your class and you will know them by Day 2 of General Chemistry. They will ask questions about weird diseases, stupid fucking theoretical interactions, and stuff they read in the NEJM last week. They suck balls.
Point 6 - If you make it past third year and then drop out for any reason other than severe disease requiring all of your attention, you are a fucking idiot. You've already got 60k+ tied up in an education. How are you going to pay that back in with a degree in accounting? Exactly...
Point 7 - GET YOUR ASS IN A FUCKING PHARMACY. You will encounter some douche bag that is a 5th year and has only seen the inside of a pharmacy on required experiential trips. These people are twits and will find themselves in a world of hurt when they get to their rotations and/or the real world. The things you learn on the job may seem inconsequential, but I couldn't tell you how many times a little bit of experience or familiarity with the drugs saved my ass on an exam. Even knowing the OTC drugs helped in some classes and especially on rotations in community pharmacies.
Point 8 - Do NOT be one of those ass clowns who comes to pharmacy school saying "I'm just going here so I can go to Med School/Law School." That's bullshit. No 18-year old realistically heads to pharmacy school with those high hopes -- they are mommy and daddy inspired and you will see most of them crash and burn faster than a NASA space shuttle (eek - I apologize for that one). Their tune will change as they realize their debt is astronomical and retail money is easier -- especially with that hefty sign on bonus.
Point 9 - Go Greek...It worked for me. I know, deep down, that part of the reason I graduated was because of my Brothers. They helped me - they kept me honest - they provided and outlet for me to vent and gain from. I couldn't have done it without them. I don't care what fraternity you would join. Looking out for the mutual welfare helps -- regardless of the letters (except for Phi Dex, they are dicks -- and everyone knows those fools in KY are gay...just kidding -- relax!)
Point 10 - OLD TESTS ARE GOLD! Gather as much old material you can -- the work is done FOR YOU. Most tests will have 10-15% duplicate questions. Some professors have a limited test question bank and if you have several years worth of tests, you may have access to the vast majority of their questions. Of course, you have to study -- otherwise you might get burned with a new test. Fraternities help here. My chapter had tons of old stuff that we shared amongst each other.
Point 11 - Don't be a dick to your classmates. You will come to realize that you are in it together. What started as 250 will dwindle to 150 by graduation (seriously). Working together will get you a lot farther than being competitive. What do you gain by competing for grades? Not a damn thing. Everyone still gets a degree.
Point 12 - Don't allow the faculty to convince you that clinical pharmacy is the only thing worthy of your degree...that's a load of bullshit, but that's what you'll hear from day one. Drug expert this, therapeutic guideline that, residency this, Board Certified Pharmacotherapy Specialist that...Fuck that - my Pharm.D. is the same as theirs, and I make a tad bit more coin than then. I've got the same training and education as them; I just decided to go another direction. Why they look down on retail? I dunno. If I weren't standing in the trenches, one of them might be...
Point 13 - Live in the dorms or close to campus! Those that live on campus get 15% higher grades than those that don't -- my school once "crunched the numbers." Why? Because they are more involved in their school and their education. If you commute, stay on campus, make friends. They will help when it comes to getting old tests and such. Don't go to class and run home.
Point 14 - I'm not saying give up your friends from "back home," but for Pete's sake, don't live in a fucking suitcase and run back to your hometown every weekend. Homecoming? Sure. Anything else? Meh.
Point 15 - I hate to burst your bubble, but you and your high school girlfriend aren't going to make it. It's a 99.9999% certainty that you will be broken up by New Years. Why? Because there are hundreds (if not thousands) of 18-year old bitches throwing their boobies in your face...and you're going to like it -- and probably open your mouth once or twice (and your fly if you're lucky). Don't screw yourself out of all those fun experiences and random strange because "you're in love" with the same girl you've been dating since freshman year.
Point 16 - If for some reason you do keep a significant other outside of your school or immediate area, DO NOT be one of those stupid motherfuckers that runs out of class at EVERY 5 minute break and jumps on the cell phone. I hated those fucking kids. As soon as the teacher said the word, they were pushing the dial button...it's like they only had that on their mind the last 15 minutes before our break. I hated those kids - and I'll hate you if you turn into one.
Point 17 - Keeping number 15 in mind, don't be a fucking slut. Like I said, pharmacy schoool is about 250 people. You nail 3 girls in a week and it's going to get around. You are going to be avoided by the plague (unless you are the master). Chicks talk more than dudes. You don't want to be labeled a man-whore or slut after a week of drunken fun. Sure, it was a blast - but it will be the only play you get for a long ass time.
Point 18 - Real men marry pharmacists. Can you imagine the possibilities of being married to a pharmacist as well as being one? That 250k gross is a lot of money. You can have awesome cool shit - Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, Nintendo 64, all the works...This also provides a solid fall-back - you fail out, she graduates, you still got a solid income to mooch off of...:-)

Got any to add for our 1st years, Pre-Pharms, and/or P1's? Toss it in a comment!

If you read this far and aren't going to pharmacy school, worry not, some if not all of them will apply to you in some way. Read and learn....