The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Just Questions

Every day I ask myself questions. Most are rhetorical...but they are pertinent questions. I will share these with you now. Feel free to comment with some of your own. OR Check Out Pharmacy Chick's version of this same exact thing from February 2008.

Why do old, toothless people always appear to be chewing on something?

Why is it than if someone is walking to my pharmacy, I can predict with 99% accuracy that they want to buy 12-hour Pseudoephedrine?

Why is it that someone that wants a script filled 10 minutes before closing will have had that prescription for no less than 7 days?

Why does the person wanting a rare, expensive C-II drug come to my pharmacy each month wanting it only to find out that I still don't have it and won't order it for them unless they fill it with me once and wait for the order to come in?

Why does someone on Medicaid give me their card only to ask me to "just fill it for cash" -- knowing full well that I'm going to bill it to Medicaid FIRST?

Why is it that people think they need Watson brand Hydrocodone/APAP? Nevermind - I know the answer to this one...more street value cause it can be identified by pill-heads.

Why does every person that I would idenfity as a drug seeker use "I have fibromyalgia" as the excuse for their early refill or other behavior?

Why does every complaint go to a non-pharmacist store manager rather than to me?

Why does every doctor's voicemail message have the same bullshit message that I can't skip over (they can press ZERO to get to me!)? "Leave the patient's name, date of birth, drug name with spelling, strength, quantity, last fill and pharmacy call back number."

Why do people have to ask for the pharmacist to give a refill number?

Why will people have pizza delivered to their home in an hour and be happy with that wait time but want their prescription in 15 minutes or less?

Why do people want name brand drugs then be completely happy with store brand soda, chips, water, clothes, and everything else?

Why would someone present a prescription for a child then refuse it when the copayment is anything more than free?

Why would someone call me a 'stupid fucking cocksucker' during one trip to the pharmacy then yell at me during their next trip when I use the word 'shit' in front of their child?

Why do I have to concern myself with HIPAA when any patient would be willing to yell, "Yeah my name is Fred Jones...3-14-51. Doctor Smith called in my Viagra refill this morning"?

"Sir, are you taking any other medications?" No.
"No OTC meds?" No.
"No Vitamins?" No.
"Any herbals?" Nope.
"No other medicines at all?" Well, I've been taking this Saint John's Wort for depression.

Why is the answer always, 'NO' to "Do you have any questions for the pharmacist" only to have the patient call the pharmacy back in 10 minutes later?

There are 24 hours in the day. Why does everyone have to spend their 30 minutes in the pharmacy on the cell phone?

Why does every patient with a new insurance card present that card at the cash register rather than the pharmacy drop off window when the read the sign that says "Please present your insurance card when you drop off your prescription"?

Why is it that 1 out of every 100 patients feel the need to poor their pills out on the counter and count them right there in front of all of us?

Why do Americans have the words, "I want to talk to your supervisor" into their brains for use at the first sign of a problem, dissent, friction, or trouble?

Why is there a direct correlation between the number of items in a person's shopping cart and the likelihood they will want them rung up in the pharmacy?

Why is there a direct correlation between the number of scripts filled in my pharmacy and the amount of alcohol I ingest every evening? Nevermind -- I know the answer to this one too...

Why is there a direct correlation between a patient's lack of teeth and oral hygiene and the likelihood they will present a medicaid card?

Why do I have to be the person to explain to some people that BEER cannot be paid for with Food Stamps?

I have a feeling this post has instant classic written all over it...