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30

May

Especially for the naive minority…..

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Work Sucks

One of my favorite patients (yes, I actually have a couple of favorite patients!!) came in yesterday.

Want to know why he’s one of my favorite patients? Because he NEVER argues with me. My diagnoses for him are ALWAYS spot on and he said he will never argue with me. (He never argues with me because I caught him cursing at me in Italian and when I told him I understood perfectly what he was saying in ITALIAN! he was very embarrassed. One of the advantages of being able to speak non-common languages like Japanese).

For the, well, basically naive minority of random surfers who are NOT pharmacists and who think that we bitch constantly about the customers, you have to remember the following:

1) Pharmacists deal with, on average, at least 20 patient confidential queries/8 hours. These are detailed and require knowledge off the top of your head or you’re fucked because the patient will not trust you.

2) Pharmacist is a 24 hour job. Ask my boyfriend. If I’m not at work, I’m studying my subjects of interest within pharmacy or drafting sketches of promos for work, or I talk about work-which annoys him (anyone that goes out with a pharmacist has the patience of a saint! hence why pharmacists don’t usually breed amongst themselves-unless one is in retail and the other in a hospital!)

3) Pharmacists, like many human beings, like to have a fucking good rant. It’s good for the soul. Tell me if I’m wrong, but the items we wrote enraged you, so you had a fucking good rant on your comment space-and you felt gooooood. (even though the angriest one is always right! and you were WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!)

4) If we bitched about all the bad customers, we’d never have time to have a laugh with our staff or the good ones-and some of them are extremely odd and funny!

Then, today, something extraordinary happened..

The florist up the road rang me, saying that there was a woman sitting across the road; and it looked like she had breathing difficulties. I ran over, got her out of the rain into the pharmacy. I started talking to her. She was from England, and was quite nervy-her face was twitching. So, I got one of the girls to sit with her whilst I got the cops. Then I came back and sat with her. She started talking, saying she was “possessed by him”….”a demon”..”Satan”….(by this stage the sensible me is going “you do realise that she could go off her nut at any point and try to kill or hurt you?”, but the adrenaline running through me kept my fight response on full alert). The poor soul had no sleep, had had no food or water; so I gave her the nourishment she obviously needed. The cops arrived-turned out she had escaped from a mental hospital days earlier in Southern England (as I suspected, schizophrenic). Apparently she used to be from the area I now work in, but was raped at 14 (the same time she said she was “possessed”). I told her that the cops were good friends of mine and that they’d look after her. As she left she turned and said “Thank you. You have a good heart.”

Now, if that woman, with all her problems can see that I was trying to help her; then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU NON-PHARMACIST SURFERS MOANING ABOUT? Be thankful that all your faculties are STILL together.

For at the end of the day, who can we say IS “mad”? The lady who has been diagnosed as such or the lady standing giving the pharmacist a hard time just because there is no-one else to blame?

I leave it for you to decide, but today, I knew which one should stay the rest of their life in a straight jacket….

It is as the saying goes…”Your eyes can deceive you..” (Ben Kenobi, Star Wars, A New Hope).


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Lil' Laura says May 30th, 2008 at 10:14 am

BTW I am aware that he is Obi-Wan Kenobi, but he is known as Ben Kenobi in A New Hope.

Blondfuturepharmer says May 31st, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Lovely time picking up the phone today. Conversation started like this:

JoRphT: CVS how may I help you?
Old lady: I seem to have misplaced my Lasix. It’s not in the medicine cabinet where ALL my drugs are. What should I do?
JoRphT: Well since you get a 90 day supply, and you have about 75 pills that your missing, it wont go through insurance.
Old lady: All right. How long?
JoRphT: Its going to be 10.99. About an hour.
Old lady: BUT I PAY 4 DOLLARS for it!
JoRphT: But you lost them.
Old lady: But im a good customer.
JoRphT: Maybe look around for them?
Old lady: If i wait 2 hours to pick them up, will you charge me 4 Dollars.
JoRphT: No. Time is not the issue.
Old lady: I dont understand why your charging me that much for brand.
JoRphT:Maam, its generic. Youve been getting this for years now.
Old lady: This is just silly.

Hangs up the phone. Conversation ended with me wanting to kill somebody.

Carolyn... says June 1st, 2008 at 1:19 am

For the record, two of the pharmacists I work with are married (clarification *to each other*) and have kids… Who are possibly the most mellow children I have ever seen… Think they’re being drugged? ;)

And idiotic conversation of the day…

Customer: Where are your Tylenol 3’s?
Me: They’re prescription only… Do you have a prescription?
C: *While looking through the regular Tylenol* I don’t see them… Where do you keep them?
Me: I’m sorry sir, but you need a prescription for those…
C: *As he walks away in a huff* That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and you don’t even have any damn Tylenol 3’s anyway!
Me: *scratches head in confusion*…

Oh yes… And I had a customer today who’s drug plan thought she changed into a he because she turned 18… *sigh*… Funny thing was, her driver’s license had her listed as male too…

The Ole' Apothecary says June 1st, 2008 at 6:32 pm

Hmmm, I’ve worked with many pharmacists, but I’ve never been with one. Wonder what it would feel like. We might end up doing it five at a time.

Pharmer Mike says June 1st, 2008 at 10:29 pm

LMAO @ T.O.A.

I’ve been know to use the saying “ok, you’re NOT listening to me. Pay attention this time!” to a few customers. It’s infuriating when they don’t want to hear you, just bitch at you.

Lil' Laura says June 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 am

I’ve heard of pharmacists ( in the good ol’ days) that actually have drugged their kids…
the best one was my boss telling me how he used a special mix of chloral hydrate to sedate his…
But the Ole’ Apothecary? You dirty dog! ;)
As y’all know we are pretty horny (another way of working out frustrations), so I have no doubt if you managed to find another pharmacist to get it on with; you’d have NO sleep hahahahaha!!!

Jen says June 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Ha, I have a good one from a few months back:
Woman: Hi I need the morning after pill.
Me: No problem, have you had it before?
Woman: Oh yes. I’d like you to bill it to my insurance.
Me: Alright, do you have a prescription for it?
Woman: Um, hello, Plan B is over the counter now, I don’t need a prescription.
Me: Why yes, that is correct, but if you would like me to bill it to your insurance you will need a presription.
Woman: Ugh, this is so stupid. Whatever. (walks away)

A minute later woman’s boyfriend comes to the counter to demand that I bill the Plan B to his insurance (yes, it was not even her private insurance she had given me!)

Me: Sorry Sir, as I’ve already explained to your girlfriend, you will require a prescription if you would like this billed to insurance. And besides, even if she had a prescription, I would not be able to bill it to your insurance unless she is listed as a “spouse” or beneficiary on your plan.
Man: What???? You are lying! That is not true, just bill it lady!
Me: I’m sorry sir, but your plan will just not accept it.
Man: But I DID IT TO HER! My plan should pay for it!
Me: I see your point. And although I am just as enthusiastic as you are about you not bringing your spawn onto this earth, it just doesn’t work that way, you will just have to pay for it. And for the record, just because you inflict “harm” unto another, it does not mean your insurance will pay for it.
Man: Blank stare
Me: For example, if you get into a brawl in a bar and decide to punch your bar mate and as a result he requires hospitalization, stitches and pain meds, your insurance will not pay for his prescription…just because you were the one that punched him. Get it now?

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