The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Did I do something wrong?

So, I was approached with a weird question recently, in confidence of course. A man came to me and asked me a very serious question. "Hello, sir. I am addicted to heroin, and I've hit rock bottom. I cannot afford the treatment options that are available, and I want to detox myself at home. What over the counter drugs will help me in the process, and what do I do to make this as easy as it can be?"

That's a mouthful, eh? I know that opiate withdrawal (and any withdrawal for that matter) can be a complete bitch to go through. I do also know, however, that opiate withdrawal is not fatal. Dying from it, especially a 20-something year old man that *wants* to get his life straight, is unlikely.

Here's what I told him (ad-libbed here, of course): I would urge you to try and find a methadone clinic or a doctor that could prescribe you Suboxone. I know that they are not cheap, but the doctors that deal in this would know of the avenues for you to find financial assistance. I can find you those numbers, those doctors, and I will even call them and speak with them before you go and meet with them. [He responded negatively here] Okay, well, my official position is that you need to seek a physician's assistance with this, and you are refusing to do so due to the cost aspect. [Affirmative] So, I will help you with this because if I don't, you would be lost at what to do. [Affirmative] Here's what you need and why:

1. Diphenhydramine 25mg taken every 4-6 hours because your nose will run like crazy and it will keep you drowsy and sleeping through most of it...hopefully
2. Ibuprofen and Tylenol alternating full doses of the two drugs every 2 hours. Every little ache and pain is going to feel like a compound fracture until your body begins producing the endogenous opioids such as enkephalin and endorphins at normal levels again.
3. Loperamide at near double doses of what the packaging says. You're going to have diarrhea, and it's going to be bad. You've been flooding your system with a drug that stops you from pooping, now your going to to have diarrhea many, many times a day after every bite of food you take. You can easily ween off of this over the coming days to weeks as you feel better.
4. Exercise. It's often been noted that exercise produced endophins with a strenuous amount of exertion -- perhaps you've heard it called the 'runner's high.' While I've never read any literature to corroborate this (because I've never looked), it makes sense that it will help. It will also make you tired and help you sleep through this.
5. Alcohol. I know it sounds horrible and as if I'm saying to trade one drug for another, but you might consider drinking a little bit to help you transition through the rough spells. Of course, you don't want to become an alcoholic, and most people know their limits. But, it may help for the first you days to use it as a 'sedative' so to speak. NOTE: I did go into how EtOH and Ibuprofen over the long term can cause ulcers and to skip the pain meds whilst drinking.

Overall, I think the guy really wanted my help and listened intently. He understood what I was talking about. I, of course, wrote all this shit down in a notebook I keep. I write down everything I think is important (Thank, Jim!) and tuck it away in case I ever need it again.

So, my judging readers. Was my advise wrong? Was I wrong to instruct him on what to do? I know it was wrong to suggest alcohol, but I honestly think that it will help more than hurt over the next two weeks or so. I doubt the likelihood that he would get an ulcer in two weeks along with Ibuprofen. If so, it's no worse for him to be pumping heroin into his veins.