The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

The last day I'll ever be questioned…

Scumbag came in recently and wanted 12-hour pseudoephedrine. My tech asked him for his license, and he knew the routine and handed it to her...along with $5.79 (or whatever it costs...exact change -- no paper trail). She knew he was a dirtbag and a frequent Sudafed-Man as we call them. We've recently received intel from the our local DEA agent (and pharmacist) that if the laminant on the license is broken or tattered in any way, it is not a legal license (at least in my state of residence). It is a ticketable offense, apparently. We can refuse sale at this point, and the DEA agent made it seem like we should. I made this known around the pharmacy that this was our new policy.

Well, the man, probably used to being turned away, accepted his fate and slumped away. A few minutes later, he and one of our front-end assistant managers came back in a sort-of triumphant march. The look on Sudafed-Man's face was a I-got-you-now-motherfucker glare...as if this Assistant Manager was going to put me in my place.

"So, what's the deal here with this man's license." ~Dumb Ass. Manager [My tech conceded to me.]
"We no longer accept license that have a broken laminate. It's not a legal license, and it's a ticketable offense per our local DEA Agent." ~TAestP
"Well, that doesn't make sense to me. All the information is clearly readable and we'd accept this if he were trying to pass a check." ~Dumb Ass. Manager
"That's all well and good, but we're not passing checks here. We're selling a substance that is controlled by federal law and regulated by national legislation." ~TAestP
"I don't understand. I used it last week to buy some 4-hour Sudafed!" ~Sudafed Man
"Okay. I understand. This laminate deal just came to our attention very recently. How bout this. I'll sell you this box now, but from this point forward, it is the policy of this store that your license is illegal and will not be honored. You need to have a new one printed." [Then I glared at the Dumb Ass. Manager] "And you stick around. I want to talk to you for a second."

So, I made the sale. Then junior and I went into a secluded aisle.

"So, do you know what just happened here?"
"Well, I just..." [I cut him off here -- The crimson hue of my face should have told him to shut the fuck up]
"I'm sorry. That was a rhetorical question. I'm going to do the talking, and you just listen. Since you felt the need to come back here and defend a scumbag, you undermined my professional judgment. I understand that you accept that to verify checks. I'm not dealing with checks back here. I'm dealing with dangerous chemicals. Now, that man is going to take the dangerous chemical and make it into a VERY dangerous chemical by mixing it with a ton of OTHER dangerous chemicals and sell it for people to inject into their veins and get high. It's called methamphetamine.

You front end managers think you are doing people a solid by coming back here and challenging my decisions day in and day out, but all you are doing is causing MORE problems for me. You give stupid fucking idiots validation in their flimsy arguments against my professional decisions as the pharmacist on duty and the pharmacist in charge. You, by merely coming back and inquring, are saying that you and some fucking idiot are right and that I may be wrong.

From this point forward, you and the rest of your front-end staff are NEVER to come to my pharmacy and inquire about anything with related as to decisions I, or my staff have made. Your response from now on is the following: 'You are going to have to talk with the pharmacist on duty. If you don't agree with him you can ask for the pharmacist in charge or inquire about when he will be returning.' Even if I told a little old lady to shove a broom up her asshole, you tell people their only recourse is to talk to the pharmacist. You have no say in the pharmacy and you will get no say until you complete your doctorate of pharmacy in an accredited pharmacy school.

Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir. Absolutely." ~Dumb Ass. Manager

"Okay. Please pass this information on to EVERYONE else in this store that is not in the pharmacy....Good talk."

-=+=-

Now...That was fucking brutal wasn't it? You bet your ass it was.

I nearly made him cry, and I'm not shitting you all, that's almost word for word what I said to that poor bastard. And no, I'm not going to apologize or recant in any way.

That's once small step for a pharmacist and one giant leap for the profession. Never again will I let someone without R.Ph or Pharm.D after their name even attempt to question the policies and procedure I institute in my pharmacy.