Pharmacy Rhymes

A pharmacist for years, I’ve shed my own tears,
frustrations can mount, more than I can count,
but now and then, a thank you can mend.
for the times I should break, but only can bend.

Tho trials may come and sanity may go,
this profession is mine and proud, I am, lo.

PC, you never disappoint…:-)

Your first shot at poems may not have been perfect
But I did hear your feelings come through;
Life is chock-full of rejects and morons –
Some days I love/hate my job, too.

I think your poem should go into every publication that serves us all! I can see it framed on the walls (inside, of course) of many pharmacies across the English-speaking world.

After a long day
I do start to pray
for a new blog of the day.
Ok, can’t do it.
At least I tried.
Thank you, that was very nice.

http://jadedrxintern.blogspot.com/2007/09/havent-had-any-good-stories-from-work.html

I had found this one while reading a Drug Topics magazine. I thought it was quite amusing. Enjoy!

The lyrics sound like a ballad… We always had interns (and pharmacists) in my hospital making up songs for entertainment,to mask rage, and memorizing complexities. Did you ever hear ’stat Rocephin sing that song…, all day long’ to the tune of ‘London Bridge is falling down’, or ‘Feldene the non-steroidal’ as song listing various MSR (do they still call it molecular structural relationships) or chemical classes of OTC NSAIDS sung to the tune of ‘Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer’. There was one we sang to ‘YMCA’ about 3-minute TPA, and another for neo-, dop-, and epi- drip rates. I heard there was one on the Krebs cycle long after I took biochem.

My name is Jack, They say that I’m a quack,
but really I’m just a Doc.
If they knew what i was brewing, they would surely be suing,
tryin to make me stop.

You see I take a new script, on my first damn shift, and run it like a normal pro.
But then I notice that they use it, and even more, they abuse it,
and that’s when I stop this hoe.

I get a lot of shit, give me that, fill this.
Interactions up the wall.
So when you ask me a question, I’ll be thinking of the answer to the person on the other call.

I’ve got 20 different things going through my mind, and another line of 20 more.
Interrupt me if you dare, but you better beware.
Cause I’ll cut you like a dirty whore.

So bitch about your copay, bitch about your doctor, bitch to me a little more.
I’ve no sympathy for you, cause I’m the one you try to screw, when you walk right through my door

HAHAHAHAHA!

More of a limerick, but oh well…

I’m just a pill pushing intern
Dipiro & Gilman I should learn
Rather instead
Getting bitched & DUR wasted
I think pysch counseling’s in order instead

A ho name Bubbles comes in
Wants her next Vicodin
I tell her its early
She pulls cell then phone, says “girly”
This how my day begins

TAestP
Found online: Author unknown:
Oh The Things You Can Fill
Dr. Seuss on Pharmacy:

Author unknown

Oh the things you can fill

For the folks who are ill.

With your bright shiny spatula

Oh, what a thrill.

Besmocked and bedecked out

In Pharmacist clothes

Knowing all of the things

That a Pharmacist knows.

You’re quick and efficient,

You’re sharp and inventive.

It also just happens

You’re anal retentive.

You read slips of paper

To get the specifics

From doctors who scribble out

Strange hieroglyphics.

Could it be Celebrex?

Or maybe Celexa

It might be a Z-Pack

Then it might be Zyprexa

And you bill by computer

AWP

Minus 15 percent

Plus a buck twenty-three.

You fill and you bill

And you feel so dejected

‘Cause half of your claims

Are being rejected.

So you pick up the phone

While computerized voices

Keep you waiting forever

Explaining the choices.

Press 1 for directions.

Or maybe it’s 2.

Push ‘pound’ for a message

Oh, what should you do.

Then you pour out the pills

On your pill counting tray

And you count, and you count

And you count pills all day.

You count them by fives

To the rhythm and beat

Of the songs that you learned

On Sesame Street

And the customers gripe

And complain while you’re fillin’

Could it be the whole world

Is on ‘Grouchacillin?’

My pills are too big

And my co-pay’s too high!

Take it four times a day?

I cannot comply!

Then you scarf down your

sandwich

In one single bite

Which if done in a restaurant

Would be impolite

But a Doc’s on line one

Mrs. Jones on line two

She has 500 pills

Will you cut them in two?

And the drug reps, they tap

On your counter, tap, tap.

To give you their spiel

Plus a load of free crap!

There’s pens and there’s post-its

There’s free stuff galore

But the really cool clock’s

For the doc who’s next door

Then ol’ Mrs. Snifflemore

Gives you that smile

And you know once again

That it’s almost worthwhile

So you hang up your smock

And put down your free pen.

Tomorrow you’ll do it

All over again.

Oh the things you will fill

For the folks who are ill.

With your bright shiny spatula

Oh, what a thrill!

The End

I am thoroughly impressed!

I thought this was cute so I gave it a try
I like poetry and this post caught my eye
I’m just a P2, stuck in my fourth year
My friends get to graduate while I’ll be right here
I hate taking notes with my free Walgreens pen
But I don’t want to fail and take this course again
My grades are OK but they could be better
Probably won’t get that sweet Dean’s List letter
I got used to As, but now my efforts are moot
Hey, wait a sec – that TAs kind of cute!
No, no, that’s just a silly distraction
I really should learn the mechanism of action
The side effects, uses, how it’s metabolized
N-acetylation or is it hydrolyzed?
Phase I or Phase II? I think I’m confused
Oh I know that drug! Well, I know it’s abused.
It’s 6 in the morning, got Red Bull in hand
And I’m still studying for my MedChem exam
It’s in a few hours, I still haven’t slept
My promise to study early, I sure should’ve kept
I know that I’ll pass, gotta get into gear
Soon I’ll be half-done with my stupid 4th year.

As I read, read, and read
My favorite man popped into my head
The Grinch, his dog Max, and his sled

Seriously…Boris Karloff was the narrating voice I heard as I read this!

I can picture Weird Al rapping that.