The History of Medicine

Posted on July 22, 2011

THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
20 A.D. - "That prayer is good, but you have to pray in my name me to get through to Dad."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is a superstitious chant, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is merely snake oil, swallow this pill."
1970 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic four times a day."
1980 A.D. - "Bacteria aren't the problem. Viruses are enemy number 1! Get this vaccination, but you still better take our pills too!"
1990 A.D. - "Taking pills four times a day? That's ARCHAIC! Take this tablet once-a-day."
1999 A.D. - "That once-a-day tablet is cost prohibitive. Take this cheaper generic. It's the same thing."
1999 A.D. - "Their generic once-a-day tablet isn't good enough anymore. Our 'XR' tablet is now the standard of care. And you only have to take it once-a-day!!!"
2000 A.D. "This XR antibiotic kills all the bacteria in your stomach. Take this bacteria capsule four times a day."
2000 A.D. - "Those vaccines are still working, but our data shows they definitely cause autism and some other nasty shit."
2001 A.D. "No, they don't. The data never showed that. Shit happens."
2003 A.D. - "Bacteria are now resistant to this once-a-day antibiotic. We're probably fucked."
2011 A.D. - "Oh yeah, we have immune systems. That's why the vaccines work. Let's just drink the damn tap water and shut the fuck up."

Note: I amused myself writing this. I know the dates aren't even close to right, but it's all so true. Feel free to fill in the holes and make corrections via the comments. Let's tweak this, finish it up, then send it around the Internet like some of the other stupid bullshit I get.