That closely guarded secret...

That closely guarded secret…

Posted on July 21, 2012

[I wrote this post on December 12, 2011 and for some reason it never got published. Well, I'm publishing it now!]

Over a month ago, Jim Plagakis, a.k.a. JP a.k.a. JP at Large posted on his website, a call for me to release my name / information out to the web, and "Join the revolution with both feet." He preceded that by listing a number of the other blogs/sites out there that many of you read/check on a daily basis. I myself check all the various sites at least weekly or bi-monthly.

He points back to the first meeting of The Pharmacy Alliance (TPA) held in Galveston. He says that I wrote every morning about the event [IN DETAIL], and the information I posted could have only come from someone at that meeting -- and therefore in that photo.

Bad news, fella. I wasn't there. I'm not in that photo. I've never even been to Galveston. As far as posting about the events of the meeting, I don't remember that either. I've racked my brains, scoured my old posts (even the virus filled version 1 site from the original iteration of TheAngriestPharmacist.com), and even asked a friend to search around for me. This produced very little.

I have posted about TPA several times -- as a category and tag -- I even referenced in a post that I was, at the time maintaining the website for JP. It was wordpress, same as this site, so I cleaned it up, added some plugins, inserted some logos, and helped where I could. While I still "technically" have access, I have not touched the site in years. But, I really don't think I posted about the events in detail.

This website is "version 2.0" and several posts were lost due to that virus, some were deleted, and others were time-relevant when posted and therefore stupid to re-publish as I ported over. Maybe these posts you speak of were in there, regardless, I don't remember posting about your meetings.

I did make a donation at time point. I did receive a pamphlet / booklet sent to me with a bunch of stories and information in it -- that JP himself typed up. I may have posted about it -- but not in depth as I can't remember much about it.

Now to the meat and potatoes of what you want and what you would like. You suggest that, because all of these other bloggers are public, and therefore assume they therefore have not had any ill repercussions, I should be logical and step forward. But I ask you to weigh that which *I* have to gain, and that which *I* have to lose.

First you must understand that I'm not writing fun, cutesy anecdotes like what we find in Drug Topics when we turn to JP at Large. The content of my posts, and those at which I point the finger, is not always in a very good light. In the past, I was even worse -- I like to think that I'm a bit calmer these days. At least, I don't completely go after and destroy people as I had done in the past. I talked to and treated people much worse. While I'm still not cordial, I'm happy enough with my tone. Yet, it's still not something I'd want my boss to read. And I certainly don't want to be in a position where I'm seeking future employment only to be faced with printouts of my posts, questions of my content, or other types of allegations regarding these posts. Much as emails never die -- I don't want hasty posts written in my 20's to damage by 40's.

Another reason that I wish to stay anonymous rests in some of the other content of the site. I have stories galore -- about patients. Of course I changed names, sexes, and sometimes much more -- to keep the original theme there, but if a patient stumbled on to this site, saw my real name/picture, read a story and recognized it as being a conversation we had, and became upset at the way I posted or responded to the inquiry, I'd be in a heap of trouble. HIPAA Violations. Potential Lawsuits. Public Embarrassment from receiving the previous two.

I also wish to stay in the shadows because people are freaking crazy these days. If your name is on the internet, your facebook address is findable. If your facebook is found, your photos are usually accessible (Zuckerberg's private photos just got found and shared). If your photos are found, your family's photos are available to the same lunatics. Then your address and phone number aren't far behind. Why would I want to even open myself up to that chance? I see that JP has, even recently, posted his address on his website. What's to keep someone from showing up there? What would keep a really crazy person in love with Jodie Foster showing up and shooting you in the shoulder? :-)

Obviously, you and I have completely different circumstances. I'm not yet 30. You started your blog when you were much later in your career (yet I know you wrote for years and years -- I've got the books). Over a great number of years, you have grown your site into a very respected blog, a monthly column in Drug Topics (a magazine I would LOVE to write for monthly as 'TAestP' but they would never let me! I asked Margaret way back when who really considered me. I contact Julianne some time ago as well, and she told me to send in stories -- yet they will not be published even on the DT Blog, much less in an issue), several successful books, and one that holds pretty big following! Meanwhile, In a few short years (My first post ever was 02-05-2007), I have grown a respectable amount of viewers, 1500 followers on twitter, nearly 1500+ facebook followers, and I was scientifically proven to be, "The most vitriolic pharmacy blogger of all time" in an article published in the American Journal of Health System Pharmacy. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21098377) [Based on the number of swears, content of posts, technorati rating, and some other things I'm sure]

Finally, and in my opinion most importantly, if I were to announce my true self to the world, no one would give a shit what I have to say. I really think that, if people would come to this site and read the posts, they'd say to themselves, "Screw this guy -- he's just some whiny little bitch that works at a Rite-Aid in Texarkana or a Wal-mart in Altanta. As The*Angriest*Pharmacist, I'd like to believe that I can have a much larger reach -- a wider influence. My opinion will actually be heard and maybe even taken into account. If it were just me -- going by my real name + nickname -- I really think my daily number of hits and views would drop dramatically. Yet, at the same time, I think the reverse may be true. I can at least humor the other side...While I may, as TheAngriestPharmacist, be heard by more people, as an anonymous voice, I may not be considered as reputable. Voices without a face and letters without a signature are sometimes (hell, usually!) taken as invalid -- the old argument of "sign your name if you're proud of what you say..."

But..I am proud of this site. I'm proud of what I have to say. I'm proud of the things I've said and accomplished in the past. [I've removed hopefully all of the posts of which I'm not proud] I'm proud that I've grown this site from a site that had zero traffic to a sizeable readership tho not near the size of some others. I'm proud that I grew beyond TheAngryPharmacist's jabs at me -- to the point that we actually get along and discussed another joint venture (I outgrew responding to the jabs -- I'll never outgrow receiving them, as there are certain readers that will never grow beyond that simple isolated thought.)

At this point in my life (as I said, I'm not even 30 years old yet), I think I'd rather be widely heard anonymously and risk not being considered as valid than share my opinion as a unimportant, named public figure and not be considered relevant or important. I'm happy with the way things are.

BTW, I'm not alluding myself that I'm ACTUALLY anonymous. I know for a fact that if you wanted to know bad enough, you could find my information. You could find out who I was. Hell, it was accidentally posted publicly for several weeks a number of years ago before someone told me and I was able to take it down. I have protected against this from happening in the future -- mainly with added security. I also have an additional trusted admin that will take care of anything and everything for me -- on this site or all my social networking sites. For instance, if I were to die suddenly, he will post information about that on this site. That way, you can mourn the loss of ME! :-D He also knows to take the site down if anything goes negatively viral or something crazy happens while I am not available to shut it down or address it myself. He has all passwords, God-Mode Access, and most importantly, my trust.

I've got a new T-Shirt in honor this very post:

http://www.zazzle.com/who_is_the_angriest_pharmacist_who_cares_tshirt-235622071840053220

Who is The Angriest Pharmacist? WHO CARES. HE SUCKS!