Jabberheads

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Cellphone, Engrish, Patient Education, Rude, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

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At about 2:30pm today, a lady brought a prescription to the counter. I approached her, said hello, and immediately glared at the cellphone, which is now synonymous with American Culture, smashed against her ear. When cellphone talkers approach my counter, they get no sympathy from me. I’m not courteous of their conversation because they are on MY time. Anyway, I asked this lady her birthday, as she turned away and started to scamper off and chatter some more, and she had the nerve to turn, roll her eyes at me, and say, “12-15-67″ in a tone of voice that would lead me to believe that I was bothering her…can you imagine that…me…bothering her…

I have a sign at my pickup window that says, “For your safety and other patient’s privacy, please finish all cell phone calls before approaching the counter.” Some people completely ignore it. Some of my techs have the guts to call people on it, others don’t — some don’t give a shit either way. Most guests will close their phone as they read the sign.

This woman continued her conversation the entire time I filled her Metronidazole 500mg po TID #24. That usually doesn’t bother me in any way. Had the woman came in with another person and they had a conversation outside the pharmacy I wouldn’t give a shit — what’s the difference? However, it does irritate me that I can only hear one side of the conversation — the human brain wants to know both sides. If it only hears one, it gets confused and either tries to fabricate the other half of the conversation OR the person gets angry…like most people when someone is loudly talking on a cell phone in a public place.

As I finished the prescription, I walked to the register to ring the woman out. She continued the conversation. I glanced back at the sign — making it pretty obvious that she should hang up. She continued the conversation.

“Do you have any questions?”
“Hol’ on jus’ a minute…” (Into the cellphone)
“Do the directions be on the bottle?”
“Yes, ma’am — it’s three times a day. There’s also a handout in there for you to read if you want to learn some more about the medicine. There is one other thing we need to talk about…”
“Nuh uh…no she din’t…are you fo’ reaaaal? Ohh my wooooorrrrrrrrrrrddd……” (Obviously into the cellphone)
“What? Huh? You say sumdin to me?”
“Yes, ma’am. There’s something important I need to tell you about your medicine.”
“Aww…okay”
“Girl lemme hit you back in a minute. Bye…” (Into the cellphone)
“This medicine has a pretty severe interaction with alcohol. Even just a small amount of alcohol could make you very sick. I cannot emphasize enough that you should avoid alcohol for the entire time you are taking this medication and even a few days after you are finished with the last dose.”
“S.O.S. please some one help me. It’s not healthy for me to feel this way. Y-O-U are making this hard, I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right,” blared from the woman’s phone (a song by current hip-hop artist Rihanna).
“Hello…girl, I’m talkin’ to dis pharmacisss. Lem me call you back afta while…Bye.”
“Okay, what?”
“Don’t drink any alcohol while your taking this medicine.”
“Ohh. I don’t drank…”
“Okay. Good. Do you have any other questions? [No] Okay then. Thank you. Come see us again…”

Does this story infuriate you all as much as it did me? I mean, what if I had to tell her something REALLY important. She may have not caught any of it…But, she was 100% aware of something scandalous the caller was talking about…

I didn’t have my jammer with me today, otherwise her phone service would have magically started to fail as I was talking to her. I took it home as I was off for two days. I don’t want to leave it at work in case there’s a raid or something…:-)

Now, before I get any hateful comments about it — this lady spoke exactly like I wrote her words…in ebonics. I’m not trying to be racist, ethnicist, or any other time of -cist you all can dream up. I hate it when people butcher the English language — regardless of who they are. I try and speak perfect English. While I type in a very odd manor — as if I’m keeping everything as one continuous thought (using dashes and ellipses) — I speak very well. Hearing the language butchered irritates me…