2. Had a very rotund person (never seen her before -- so not a regular) came in and ask me about getting a shingles vaccine as she did not want to catch it from any of her friends. I told her that it was in no way contagious. She goes on to say that 2 or 3 of her friends have it or have had it and that her doctor told her that "IT. WAS. CONTAGIOUS!" I told her that "I will back off my previous statement a very small bit -- If a person comes into contact with a shingles rash, for instance if they are covering the wounds and come into contact with the actual seeping wound, they could potentially catch CHICKENPOX if they had not previously had CHICKENPOX or the CHICKENPOX Vaccination. Shingles, meaning the form of chickenpox that comes back up later in life and causes serious pain, cannot be transmitted from on person to another." [Source: http://www.immunize.org/askexperts/experts_zos.asp] Her response was a steadfast, "Well, my doctor doesn't agree. He says you can get it from anyone that has shingles on their skin or has ever had it."

At this point, I once again took the position of not giving a fuck. Either listen to reason or go away. I told her, "If your doctor is telling you this, and he is serious, I think you need to get a new doctor. As I can print out several different papers and references in just a few minutes that would disprove that notion."

Her response was, nothing less than I expected, "Maybe I should get a new pharmacist..." I just sad, in a trailing voice but loud enough for her to full figure out what I PROBABLY said, "I think you should do that you stupid fat bitch..."     Believe me...she was being a standoffish, stupid, fat bitch.

3. Had a lady come to pick up a refill for, of course, Xanax. It was later in the night -- slowed down immensely. I was completely caught up and actually listening to the radio a bit. She came to the pickup window, I looked up her name and immediately saw that we had requested refills, and we had not heard back. She looks me right in the eye and says, "Is it in you box? I mean...can you check your box?...Is it in your box?"    I really wanted to say, "Why no, have you checked YOUR BOX? I'm sure we could hide a set of car keys in there!"  Instead, she goes into a long diatribe about how a 3 months ago she came to pick up her refill and we told her it wasn't called it...only to find out that after she drove "all the way to the doctor's office," [a gas-chugging 4-5 minutes away] "it was sitting on the counter as there was a problem with it." [The doctor faxed it back sans signature] So, I stand by the statement that the doctor hadn't really done his job! At that juncture, we had faxed them back for ANOTHER Auth. Today, I told her that our inBOX didn't receive prescriptions (just email). She asked me to check our voicemail BOX, and I told her I didn't need to as our number of VMs is displayed on screen [I had ZERO]. No other BOXes to check...cept yours, biggun'!

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
20 A.D. - "That prayer is good, but you have to pray in my name me to get through to Dad."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is a superstitious chant, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is merely snake oil, swallow this pill."
1970 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic four times a day."
1980 A.D. - "Bacteria aren't the problem. Viruses are enemy number 1! Get this vaccination, but you still better take our pills too!"
1990 A.D. - "Taking pills four times a day? That's ARCHAIC! Take this tablet once-a-day."
1999 A.D. - "That once-a-day tablet is cost prohibitive. Take this cheaper generic. It's the same thing."
1999 A.D. - "Their generic once-a-day tablet isn't good enough anymore. Our 'XR' tablet is now the standard of care. And you only have to take it once-a-day!!!"
2000 A.D. "This XR antibiotic kills all the bacteria in your stomach. Take this bacteria capsule four times a day."
2000 A.D. - "Those vaccines are still working, but our data shows they definitely cause autism and some other nasty shit."
2001 A.D. "No, they don't. The data never showed that. Shit happens."
2003 A.D. - "Bacteria are now resistant to this once-a-day antibiotic. We're probably fucked."
2011 A.D. - "Oh yeah, we have immune systems. That's why the vaccines work. Let's just drink the damn tap water and shut the fuck up."

Note: I amused myself writing this. I know the dates aren't even close to right, but it's all so true. Feel free to fill in the holes and make corrections via the comments. Let's tweak this, finish it up, then send it around the Internet like some of the other stupid bullshit I get.

"Prescription for Cal Ripkin. Zpak. No Refills. This is Dr. Johnson."

Luckily, I knew who Dr. Johnson was because he did not say his first name. I could just hear it in his voice that Mr. Ripkin called him at home or through the exchange acting as if he would absolutely die without a ZPAK STAT! And, rather than tell Mr. Ripkin to stop being a pussy and take a nap and some Tylenol, he just called in the prescription. Is antibiotic begging becoming some sort of weird variation of drug seeking?

Mr. Ripkin called me moments later and arrived mere minutes later. He needed that fucking ZPAK...

As I'm ringing him out, he doesn't ask about cough medicine. He doesn't ask about Advil or Tylenol. He doesn't ask me any REAL questions at all. He does hold out his hand and show me his palm. He's got a giant blister -- looks like it was from fighting a push mower without gloves.

"Will this ZPAK help with this blister?"

"I don't think it will. It's not super-red. It's definitely not infected. I wouldn't have torn it open -- maybe you could cover it with some super glue or Nu-skin to keep it from hurting."

"Oh. I kinda thought.....well....okay...thanks...."

So, let's recap here. Patient calls doctor for antibiotic. Doctor doesn't ask why, what for, or any questions. (It's for a blister, by the fucking way) Patient doesn't tell doctor what it's for. (It's for a blister, by the fucking way) Pharmacist fills it, patient comes to pick it up and pharmacist discovers patient wanted it for a blister, BY THE FUCKING WAY.

What a waste of time, money, resources, and my patience. This is one of the biggest examples of problems within our healthcare system -- WASTE and MISUSE OF ANTIBIOTICS. Super bug, anyone? This is how we are going to create it....

Had a lady call me for a refill (on we'll say 3/19) on her (surprise) Norco 10/325 last week because she was (surprise) going out of town. It had been 9 days since we had refilled it. The prescription was for 50 tablets taken every 6 hours. I put it in as a 13 day supply. I told her that it would be "a few more days" before it could be filled. She, of course, did not agree with me. She tried to tell me that it was a 12-day supply and we, meaning my pharmacy, "always fill it three days early." Well, she's wrong...maybe two days early...on a 30 day supply...if the patient isn't a problem....

The fact that she argued with me about filling it early, about it being a 12 day supply versus a 13 day supply, and told me what MY pharmacy always does got me interested in her profile.

I booted up my trusted internet browser and navigated to my state's Prescription Drug Monitoring Program, plugged in her information, and I was quite shocked at what I found.

Date                        Drug                                       Qty/Days    Prescriber   Filled by:
3-14         Hydrocodone/APAP 10/325     90/30          J. Smith          CVS
3-14         Alprazolam 1mg                               90/30          J. Smith          CVS
3-10        Hydrocodone/APAP 7.5/325    50/13          B. Jones          MY PCY
3-10        Alprazolam 0.5mg                           30/10         B. Jones          MY PCY

And this shit continued for the last 3 months or so. Let me share the most SHOCKING piece of information -- there was another column titled "Payee" which will say Medicaid, Commercial, or CASH. Usually, we would expect this to say CASH at one pharmacy and COMMERCIAL or MEDICAID at the other when we encounter doctor shoppers. In this instance, THEY ALL SAID COMMERCIAL!!!

This lady was doctor shopping using her insurance card...from her benefits at work! WOW! I can only assume the insurance company didn't catch it because the strengths had different NDC -- maybe even different manufacturers? Not sure....

I called and confirmed all of this with my friend Remy at CVS, and we each canceled all of her refills. I then printed all of this out and faxed it to the physicians involved (and every pharmacy in town). I heard back from both offices very quickly -- and they were pissed. They canceled the refills (of course) and each fired her as a patient.

When she called back the next day, it was precious. She said, "Well, will it go through today? It's been 10 days and it's a 12 day supply."   I said, "No, it's still a 13 day supply, and it has come to our attention that you have been getting the same drugs in different strengths at CVS."

"That's just not true!"
"Oh, yes it is. And this has been going on for several months now."
"Well.......(long, awkward pause)......how do I fix this? I'm not sure I know what's going on...."
"Well.......yesterday, I fixed it by faxing this information to both doctors and every pharmacy in town. The doctors then called me back and canceled all remaining refills and wanted me to let you know you were released as a patient. Now, what they are going to do? I don't know. For your sake, I would hope they don't call the police because it appears crimes have been committed here..."
"Eck..." [Really odd sound she made here. I'd say it was the sound of disbelief.]
"If you really and truly have no idea what's going on, you need to call and talk to CVS and both of these doctors immediately...." [I said this in a really shitass tone]
"Okay. Thank you very much!" [Being nice...praying *I* don't call the police]

4) REPLY TO ALL FAXES REQUESTING YOU GET A PRIOR AUTHORIZATION BY SIGNING IT AND AUTHORIZING "1+2" REFILLS. This is a GREAT way to both waste a pharmacist's time and really frustrate them. In most instances, they've told the patient 48-72 hours. By replying to the fax with refills, you show that you really want the patient to get the medicine, but it shows the pharmacy that you've got better things to do than read their stupid faxes. To really put a cherry on top of this one, schedule the fax to send at 4:55pm. This will ensure that even if the fax even goes through successfully in the first place, the pharmacy can't contact you again until the next day because the phones cut off at 5pm on the dot (and you cut out at 4:30pm in the first place)!

3) When they call you the next morning, make sure they have to leave you a voicemail. If you're feeling particularly randy, respond to that with a copy of the fax from the day before and a SNARKY  NOTE at the bottom of the fax. Some suggestions for the note are:
"Authorized (1+2) yesterday. Is your fax machine working?"
"I got your VM -- here's the auth you need. Thought I faxed this yesterday. WEIRD!!
You could also just skip the reply all together...

2) When they finally get a hold of you at the end of the second or the third day, tell them your office's standard is at least 3-5 business days on a PA Request. Tell them you'll get back with them at the beginning of next week. After you say this, don't do anything. Don't even ATTEMPT to get the prior authorization. Why you ask? Duh -- the pharmacist will probably call and remind you again on Tuesday or Wednesday when you actually need to do it anyway. Out of sight out of mind! [If you wanna be a real bitch, at this point you need to send another refill authorization in to pharmacy. No note this time -- you don't want to appear "catty."]

1) After they call you Wednesday, if it's a different pharmacist than the one you talked to the previous week you need to go off on him. Make a huge scene. Act as if everything that was sent in and you cannot figure out why the pharmacy refuses to fill the prescription. When they explain the PA Process to you, acknowledge it, say you'll get right on top of it, and completely ignore every word of it. At this point you need to go straight to your doctor and tell them the following, "Doc, I don't know what the heck is wrong with Walgreens. They are pretty much refusing to fill Mr. Johnson's _________.  I've dealt with several different members of their staff. I've faxed in the prescription at least two different times, called it in once, and I can't seem to get them to fill it!" Then, the doctor will call and ABSOLUTELY TEAR THAT STUPID PHARMACIST A NEW ONE! Sit back and laugh. You've done a good job. You've waste almost a week of the pharmacist's time, and you've not had to do much work or call for the PA.

Final Step) Now, when the doctor returns to you,  he'll explain to you that they just need you to get a PA. They'll be so scared of the doctor, they won't say anything about your prior shenanigans. Your response should be, "Well, why didn't they just SAY THAT!?! STUPID PHARMACISTS!" He will agree and, at this point, you need to call the pharmacy again and have them fax you the information on how to get the Prior Authorization. They will probably say something about how they sent you the information -- just tell them you never got anything. Now, buckle down and actually get the PA...dag nabbit!!

And that is how you get a PA!

The title of this post really says it all, amiright? If you've worked in service of customers/patients, in any field, some jackass has uttered (or hollered) these words in an outlandish attempt at getting their way by bartering all of their money for future services rendered in exchange for instant gratification in the form of (most likely) you compromising your better judgment.

Obviously, this has happened to me quite recently...and it pissed me off royally because I was the nice guy being lied to and this fat bitch was the fat bitch that altered her prescription and lied to a(nother) pharmacist.

She presented a prescription from a doctor for that read as follows:

Pt: Janice Sanveritas

Hydrocodone/APAP  5/500
Sig: 1-2 tabs po q4-6h prn pain.

Dr. Ima Schmuch, DDS

Now, most reasonable people can see that this prescription LACKS A QUANTITY. She brought this to me at, we'll say 1pm on Sunday. After I IMMEDIATELY pointed out that it lacked a quantity and would require a phone call the next day, she remarked that she thought that this was the case, but she convinced herself that the word "SIG" which was scribbled was in fact the word SIXTY. Of course, this would be ridiculous because it is very UNcommon for a dentist to write for SIXTY FUCKING VICODIN. So, we argued about this a bit and decided that she was mad at the dentist for not writing a quantity and not me, but she was pretty sure he told her sixty....considering this lady had been a problem in the past, I didn't care what she thought, I wasn't even gonna give her 1 or 2 for that night (which I might CONSIDER, for a second, if she was a consistent, good, nice, polite patient).

So, she left script in tow. She came back at about 3pm. Now, the script had a convenient #60 written in right beneath the Sig. The ink didn't match. The hand writing didn't match. The story made no sense. She told me the drove over to this dentist's office and caught him just as he was leaving and he apologize profusely as he wrote in that #60 in a different handwriting from 6 or 7 days prior. I called his office the first time she came in and of course, nobody answered. In fact, it went straight to voicemail as if no one were in the office. I left a message at that time, but I knew no one would get it until Monday. Luckily he was there, right?

I told her, right when she handed it to me that I was going to have to call and verify the quantity...and the drama and bullshit began. You all know how this went.

"I have to call and verify this."
"Why? He wrote the quantity in plain as day. You can see it right there."
"Yes, but you must understand why I have to verify this. It's Sunday afternoon. I've seen this script without a quantity and you bring it back and now it has a quantity written on it. If your dentist DID write this in, he should have called or at least initialed next to the quantity that he wrote it in a different colored ink. He knows better. He knows how things are these days with all those druggies out there."
"Ohh so now you're calling me a druggie?"
"I don't recall saying that specific phrase. Did I say that?"
"Well, you might as well. I'll tell you what I'm fucking sick of this place. Every time I have fucking problems because you're a fucking idiot. I'm NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!"
"And that's completely fine with me. I just want you to at least accept that you know where I'm coming from. I have to verify that quantity on that script. You've had it for several days. What's 18 more hours? I can call in the morning before I even open."
"No, just give it back to me. I'm going somewhere else. This is ridiculous. I've been coming here for 10 years. [Note: this pharmacy has only been open for 4-5 years] I'm going somewhere else, and I'm transferring all my meds away, and I'm never coming here again. Someone else would be more than happy to accept my business."
"Okay...fine...good bye" [and good fucking riddance]

-=+=-

I wanted to say, "Do you really think, for one second, that I'm not going to call every pharmacy in town the SECOND you walk out of here and let them know that you are leaving here with a prescription that I believe to be altered?"    But, that would ruin all the fun of wasting her time! I WANTED her to take it to another pharmacy -- or several if possible -- only for her to be turned away for the EXACT same reasoning. I also wanted to write something on the prescription, but that would've also kept her from mustering up the gaul to take it elsewhere.

So, I took to calling all 8 pharmacies in my vicinity. Turns out this fat bitch was already BANNED from Wal-Mart, a Medicap, and a Medicine Shoppe.  Now, she can add one more pharmacy to that list for her bullshit.

The winner of the "where this bitch ended up" contest was CVS. I'd talked to their pharmacist Remy, and she politely called me back. She let her drop it off and return 30 minutes later. Remy told her that the quantity's ink did not match the rest of the prescription and that she had no choice but to call the next day and verify it. This bitch politely said, "Okay, thanks a lot!" and putted her ass right on out of there...after showing her ass real good right in front of my eyes!

Today rolls around and I head in there and first thing call that dentist's office and apprise them of the situation. I told them that I believe that she modified the prescription, but CVS currently possessed the hard copy and would be calling. I just wanted to tell them my side of the story. Their side of the story? He intended on giving her 20 tablets and was nowhere near the office on Sunday.

Cut ahead to Remy calling me later on...She verified the script was altered by someone, and the DDS intended on 20 tablets. However, he went ahead and AUTHORIZED TWENTY TABLETS TO BE FILLED! I could not fucking believe it. Remy couldn't believe it. Hell, the fucking patient probably couldn't believe. This was the only doctor in the fucking NATION that would approve that script. He is enabling her addiction -- no doubt about it. This fucking doctor is a problem. I am debating whether or not to call the Board of Pharmacy and the Board of Medicine. I'm not sure if there's grounds for any sort of investigation -- or if I would just end up looking like a tight ass, punk pharmacist...

What are your thoughts?

I've also had a recent brash of problems with patients being rude/uncaring about the difference between requirements of a pharmacist versus services provided by a pharmacy. Some things we do are required by laws, federal or state, while some things are done to ensure patients have a good pharmacy experience and return with more pieces of paper.

Requirements:

1. I take the prescription from you. I ensure it meets all legal requirements (Name, Date, Drug name, directions, quantity, refills, doctor signature, and in my state, the Rx symbol on the face of the prescription).
2. I input in the computer (the computer system is not required. I could use a typewriter or even hand write the labels).
3. A prospective DUR (Drug Utilization Review) is performed by either the pharmacist manually and/or the computer system automatically ensuring that there are no drug-drug, drug-disease, or drug-patient interactions requiring concern. If there is, the physician in contacted. The patient is educated or the drug is changed to an alternative at this point. If there is no problems, we move on:
4. A label is generated and placed on an amber bottle.
5. The appropriate drug is counted and placed into the bottle.
6. Final check is performed by pharmacist and all aspects of the process is verified again. Finalized product is bagged and put into the pharmacy's WCB (Will Call Bin).
7. Patient picks up medicine. Patient is provided the opportunity to ask a pharmacist any questions concerning the medicine with the magic question, "Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?" -- this requirement not being added until 1990.

Services:

1. Billing your prescription insurance (or Medicaid) for the cost of your medicine (I don't have to take any insurance - let alone YOUR insurance). Some compounding pharmacies refuse to accept insurance and are cash-only.
2. Calling your insurance if their is a problem such as them not wanting to pay for the expensive name-brand drug your doctor wrote for, the quantity he wrote for, or for any of millions of other reasons they could dream up. Perhaps you remember when CVS made the decision to not call your insurance for problems any more. They accomplished this by placing a phone in the waiting room. It didn't go over well, but it proves my point.
3. Calling your doctor for refills when your prescription runs out. This is the job of the PATIENT that has been performed by pharmacy's striving to merely keep patients from having the opportunity to take their pieces of paper elsewhere if they are forced to visit the doctor for refills.
4. An easy open lid is placed on your bottle instead of the safety lid which is the legal requirement. (Screw your arthritis - I don't have to cater to you!)
5. Paging your name overhead when your prescription is ready -- that's all southern hospitality, buddy!
6. Taking checks or credit cards is also optional. Cash is the only requirement -- read the dollar bill. Does your credit card or check say that I *have* to take it? Nope.
7. Flavoring your child's antibiotic with out FlavorRx system.
8. Anything or everything related to having a drive-thru or providing services through it.
9. Being nice to you in any way, shape, or form. I just have to be there and be sober...I don't have to be my normally delightful self...

I'm sure this second list has a BUNCH more items on it. Fill in the holes for me...I'll add them to the list.

Metoprolol 50mg
1t po qd #90+0rf

What's missing here? That's right -- a salt! We have two different drugs we could fill this with. It could be Metoprolol TARTRATE (Lopressor) or Metoprolol SUCCINATE (Toprol XL). Both are available in a 50mg dose, but since the doctor did not specify, we have no idea.

Upon looking at the patient's history, we have no way to guess what the patient should get as this is an entirely new drug for him. I called the patient to see if he could tell me exactly what he was getting, and unfortunately, he had a touch of elderly dementia / senility and was unhelpful. I will, from time to time, ask a patient to fill in the blank here. If, without any prompting, they can tell me exactly what medicine they are supposed to be getting I will go ahead and fill it based on that fact with a quick note jotted down. Now, if that's correct or not, I don't know, but it sure beats the hell out of waiting on hold for a nurse for 20 minutes and waiting 3 HOURS for their return call!

So, since Mr. Magoo was unhelpful, I reluctantly made the call to the doctor's office. I relayed the message to the nurse and about an hour later, a jerk ass doctor called me back.

"And what was your question about Mr. Magoo's prescription?"

"Well, we got an electronic prescription that just said Metoprolol 50mg, one a day, #90, but it did not say succinate or tartrate. So, I wasn't sure which it would be. The patient wasn't capable of filling me in so...."

"Well, you must have been able to assume it was succinate since it was a once a day dose..."

"Not necessarily. There are tons of people that take the tartrate once a day and do just fine."

"That's ridiculous. Tartrate has to be dosed B-I-D. "

"You'd be surprised. In any event, I simply can't make assumptions in my position. Would you want me making assumptions on all your prescriptions? If you wrote Diltiazem 240mg daily, would you want me to assume you meant CD or XR because it makes sense to me? While the world should operate based on logic and reasoning, it simply doesn't..."

"Guess not...Thanks for calling..."

The Angriest Pharmacist -- converting doctors into pharmacy fans one at a time....

I respect pharmacies and pharmacists. I honestly see them put up with a lot of rude, direspectful people. I have a question. I don't want to irritate my pharmacy in any way. they are a large chain and I am not the only customer who needs help. I have a family member in their 80's who needs a refill on hydrocodone..sp ?. and there are no refills. We called in the request yesterday morning and the pharmacy said they are waiting to hear back from the doctor. We are going out of town for Thanksgiving and the medicine did not actually run out until today. Would there be a reason why the doctor would not call back or fax back or whatever the procedure is? I don't want to irritate them. And I know our family member will not need this medication after this refill. They were hit by a car 4 months ago and have gone through therapy, etc. But they are too afraid to tell the doctor they hurt. There have only been 2 refills requested since that time.
What would be your best advice for us?

Regardless of the situation or time frame - the best advice is always the same:

PATIENTS CALL DOCTOR'S OFFICE

If the patient calls the doctor's office, it truly makes the office give a shit. They hear from me EVERY DAY -- they here from you every other month...and you pay their bills! I won't call that office and raise hell, but you will! So, do it...you fucking call me raising all kinds of hell, why not them too?

Patients like to say that "their doctor is so slow", "he always does this", "I can't believe he didn't call in the refill!" News flash, you can go to any doctor you like -- so do it! Find a new doctor that runs a better office -- one that will take care of you when you need it and not when it's convenient for THEM.

I guess all this boils down to is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Yeah, it sucks that you have some, but I cannot be expected to do everything -- I can't call your doctor every 2 hours asking for your refill. You gotta take some initiative of your own rather than floating through life like lumps of crap expecting everyone else to powder your ass.

Anything to add?

I've got a pretty good system installed. I can replay or even fast forward or rewind a second by pressing a button (many seconds if hit repeatedly). But, when nurses are calling in these fucking scripts as one long word, it doesn't matter. Worst of all, no one spells anymore - Not patient names, not doctor names, nothing.

Case in point: Nurse today called in an Rx that sounded like this (read as fast as possible and slur the words together) -- "Hey this is Ann calling from doctor Badduda first name Mowaffaq prescription is for Shalonda Teddleston date of birth 5-5-75 for Lortab 7.5 #15 taken 1 BID prn pain office call back number is 555-6969."

Here's what is wrong with this voicemail:
1. She works for a foreign doctor. You have GOT to spell those names. I could care less where they are from, but I'm not familiar with spelling of their names. If it were John Smith, I'm cool with it. It's not. Spell the fucking name.
2. Patient's name could be spelled multiple ways. Is the last name spelled with T's or D's -- they sound the same in a crappily left message.
3. Birthday of May 5th? FIVE FIVE sounds like NINE NINE. Make sure you are audible!
4. Lortab was mumbled. I misheard it. I originally wrote down FORTAZ. Of course, once I reread it, it didn't make sense. So, I read between the lines. (Fortaz is an injectable antibiotic and wouldn't be given prn and it's a 1g+ dose -- not 7.5mg).
5. In a fast, mumbled message, BID can sound like TID. How much fucking more time does it take to say twice a day or every 12 hours?
6. Office number is always given so fast it's pretty much inaudible. You know it by heart, I don't. Would you fucking slow down?

As you can see, the voicemail system has given me 6 opportunities to screw something up in a 15 second voicemail. If the voicemail had been 30 seconds and the bitch had slowed down a bit, there would have been no problems on my end and no gripes.

There's just no rationalization these fucking LPNs and RNs can give that makes this ok. It's unsafe. They sound more retarded than they actually are, and they are putting our 'healthcare team' at risk for making a dangerous mistake...all because they don't have an extra 15-20 seconds to speak slower. Way to go, bitches.

Now, the fun goes both ways. I've been known to leave a fast voicemail in my day -- mostly in response to this kind of bullshit. Next time I have a refill request for this bitch, I'm gonna talk as fast as possible. She won't get it. She won't put one and one together (well, if she does, she'll get eight).

Most of my calling has been converted to faxing. I'm pushing to move ALL of it there....because of this bullshit.

I'll probably call her tomorrow and explain the situation to her...slowly. See if maybe I can reason with her. It won't work, but maybe, just maybe, the hamster wheel in her head will turn a few times and she can spare 15 seconds for me.

-=+=-

Here's a fun game I like to play. Some nurses call in and "want to talk to the pharmacist" to phone in a prescription. When I get fast talked, and I'm actually TALKING to the asshole --err-- nurse, I always take my time. I write as slow as possible. I repeat everything, maybe even twice. I speak as if I've had a stroke and in a thick southern accent...think Deliverance mixed with Cleveland from Family Guy. I love it when they get frustrated and try to hurry up and get off the phone. "Just to make sure I get everything right, please repeat the prescription back to me again." I end the phone call by saying that they need to slow down a little bit or the patient could be the one that pays for their haste. "Would you rather me fill your child's prescription as fast as possible, or diligent and correctly? Only one can happen. Your haste makes mistakes. If you don't have time to call in a prescription get a fax machine, hire more help, or call them all in at the end of the day when you have time. Your patients will wait, they have no choice, and they will rejoice that you are giving them Toprol rather than Topamax."