Damn Bicycles

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Laws, Me being a dick, Stupid People, True Story

I was driving home tonight, and I came to a “T” in the road. I was turning right. A bicyclist flew across the intersection the same way I was headed. I was nowhere near hitting her, but she ran the stop sign plain and simple. I made my turn, passed her in the left passing lane, and proceeded. She ran another fucking stop sign — passing me up. I made my way past her another time and got to the light….She didn’t run the light, but I rolled down my window.

“IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE FUCKING ROAD, YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD. STOP RUNNING FUCKING STOP SIGNS YOU STUPID BITCH”

She rattled off some inane babble about “did you see that red car right in front of me? were you watching that red car???”

I think she was implying that since she was tailing a red car very closely, that the red car’s stop counted as her own. Readers, I can assure you that while, in theory, this sounds correct — she is in fact a stupid, dumb bitch and needed a good kick in the cunt…which I would had delivered had I not be on a very important mission to get home and drink beer.

Attention bicyclists! I can accept your hippie ways. I can become accustomed to your unwashed hair and your vegan lifestyle for the betterment of ‘mother earth’ — but, when you’re on my fucking roadways, you obey the laws of the road you hippie scum. I don’t give a fuck how much you are reducing your carbon imprint…or mine!

If I had hit that fat, pear-shaped slut, my ass would have been in trouble…not hers. The cops wouldn’t have said…”Ohh she ran the stop sign…have a nice day!” They would have said, “You hit a pedestrian? I’ll see you in hell, motherfucker!” Then I would have been locked up.

Stay on the sidewalk, off my roads, and off my fucking last nerve.

Next time I’m going to door-check that sperm-burping whore….

I hate it when…

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Me being a dick, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

…Other pharmacists don’t want to fill shit so they call me telling me that they don’t have it only to send over the C-II script that isn’t signed. I really had that happen today. The other pharmacist called the MD and got a verification - for what reason, I don’t know. I guess he/she neglected to consider what the DEA thinks (You can’t change patient name, drug, or signature on a C-II in the USA). So, just to be a dick, I had my tech fax over a copy of the DEA Requirements concerning a C-II script (I happened to have something itemizing everything on a script with a bulleted outline on what can be changed and what cannot). I’m sure that pharmacist thought I was a huge dick - I thought I was freakin’ hilarious.

-=+=-

I hit a new personal record today. I received 20 NEW, PAPER prescriptions from an assortment of people in the 10 minutes before I closed for lunch. I had filled 50 fucking scripts up to that point. I got 13 from an elderly couple returning from vacation, 3 from a guy that I’ll never see again, the C-II script above, 2 for a baby that mommy had been holding on to for 3 days, and 1 for a fucking ferret. Never filled for a ferret before, but I guess he deserves to eat up my lunch half-hour. I went to work on these people as the piled into a fucking line at my drop off. I convinced the old folks to come back in 4 hours (they wanted to wait…cocks), the guy I’ll never see again would come back after lunch (he saw the hunger in my eye), mommy was gonna come back after lunch (she never did - poor child), the ferret was coming back in an hour, and the C-II was my only wait-er…We know how that turned out.

-=+=-

I complemented a lady today on how well behaved her two girls were as they waited for their prescription. They sat quietly talking to each other and bothered no one. Mom read a magazine and never even looked up at the kids. It was amazing. I couldn’t believe how well 2 five and six-year-old girls minded so well. When their script was finished, I called them up, mom paid for her script, I told her how good her children were, and as they were leaving, one of those little sluts turned around and threw her sucker at me. It hit me in the throat and left a bunch of red gook on my nice white jacket. I hope that little bitch gets pregnant before high school.

I handled it well, though. I just said, “Hey! That wasn’t nice [insert swears under breath]!”

And to believe I kept my cool…I shoulda went apeshit!

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, PSE, Rude, True Story, Work Sucks

I’m very proud to post the following story. It shows that I have grown up, so-to-speak. I actually kept my cool today. Make no mistake, I was completely pissed off. I was so angry I couldn’t see straight, but I kept my emotions in check…

This middle aged lady brings in a box of Alavert-D to return it. She bought it yesterday, but meant to buy (read: waste her money) just plain ole Alavert. She had the receipt…but it didn’t matter. The box was opened. Hell, there may have been a tablet or two gone.

“I’d like to return this. The manager told me that if you had a problem to call him…”
[I think it's cute the manager is trying to flex his nuts here. At the same time, I hate him for pawning this off on me...]

“Well ma’am. It’s not really a matter of me calling the manager in this situation. I simply cannot return this product for a plethora of reasons. It’s been opened. It’s a controlled-substance now, and the main reason I can’t accept it back is because it’s against the law. Once a medcine leaves the pharmacy, I can’t take it back.”
[Here's where it gets funny. I usually allow the person to say something here - mostly to see what their thoughts are. If they even just say 'well I really wanna return it' I tell them that I'll do them one better...I'll give them store credit for the cost of the product AND let them keep it. Hell, I can't resell it. I can't do anything with it. It's a bitch to return - so I leave it with them.]

This bitch didn’t even give me the CHANCE to give her the cake AND let her eat it. She got so huffed up she grabbed her little plastic back, snatched her receipt, and literally marched the fuck out of my pharmacy. And it wasn’t a slow march - this bitch was moving. She was almost RUNNING.

I was taken aback. I kept my cool. I didn’t call her a bitch, idiot, or any of the other words running through my mind. Ohh, I wanted too.

I just left her with one word, “BYE!”

More random stories from the abyss…

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Me being a dick, PSE, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

A lady came to the counter day that was 120 if she was a day old. She asked me where the per-mints were. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. I ask her what they were for, and she looked at me like I’d asked her where babies come from. “You put it in your hair and it makes your hair curly…” I realized what she meant at this point. Before I could get out a syllable of direction, she turned her head and began screaming at the top of her lungs, “RUTH! RUTH! RUUUTH!” — I was expecting the Babe himself to be walking down the aisle. She scampered off after the phantom, “Ruth.” I was fully expecting a camera crew to come spring a practical joke on me…

-=+=-

Again…when I ask someone, “Have you filled here before?” The answer I’m looking for is NOT, “Well, not this one…” — Duh…I’m holding the prescription…

Why are you retarded?

-=+=-

Some rando came in today and wanted two boxes of twenty-four-hour Sudafed. He bought one yesterday as well. His NON-DRIVER license address is 20 miles away - I confirmed with him that it was correct. I told him that two was over the limit, just as it was yesterday when he asked. I also asked him what happened to the box from yesterday. He lost it.

Aside: Normally I don’t ask. Hell, most people I tell to come back tomorrow and again the next day and get their month supply in three days so they don’t have to worry about it. This joker had black shit under his fingernails, major meth mouth, was wearing a doo-rag, had long hair, and was covered in tattoos. Yes, I am aware that he has sinuses as well, but he passed 10 pharmacies to get to mine two days in a row (one of those days being a Sunday) to try and purchase 24-hr Sudafed.

Anyway, I was in a dick mood - go figure - and I told him that I was out. He looked at the shelf and pointed, “It’s right there.” I told him I didn’t feel comfortable making the sale since he bought it yesterday and he’s from so far away from home. He then told me that I was required by law to make the sale. He could have me arrested! I said I wasn’t aware of the law, and I offered to call the police to come nab me for the criminal I am…then we would see who they would want to arrest…He declined…

-=+=-

Speaking of an above note - what’s the deal with NON-DRIVER ID CARDS? I’d say that around 30-40% of my Sudafed sales are to people flinging over a non-driver id card instead of a valid drivers license. I know it’s state issued and used for stuff like that, but it seems weird to me. I know that this people didn’t just magically teleport to my pharmacy — they fucking drove. They don’t have a license….I don’t like it at all…

-=+=-

I filled a script today for a cat. Lantus and syringes…to the tune of 120-something dollars…”Mommy” came in to pick up schnuckum’s scripts. I shit you not, this lady paid me in one-dollar bills. 121 one-dollar bills. I said nothing. I merely smiled. She told me that “she was not a stripper…she was a bartender…and her boss wouldn’t let her change out the ones for larger bills…” Where was she a bartender? A nearby strip club…

I just do not understand my role here

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, True Story

I need help here folks. What am I supposed to do in the following situation? I can accept it if I did the wrong thing, but if I was wrong, tell me what I should do in cases like this. If you know, please post a comment and/or a link (if you can find one) outlining some specifics. Wikipedia doesn’t really get into enough depth, and I’d prefer not to read HIPAA in its entirety. Any experts out there?

I got a call today. It was a man that was obviously very angry. Here’s a basic overview of the conversation. My comments are in bold with my thoughts and additions in [brackets].

-=+=-

“I wanted to get some information on Tramadol.”

“Okay…well…” [He cut me off here before I started explaining]

“I found this bottle on my son, and I want to know what the heck he’s taking…”

“How old is your son?” [At this point, my “Whoa-there” mode is on]

“He’s 17.”

Is the prescription in his name, because he has a right to his medical privacy as well.”

“No, it’s not even his bottle.” [Great…]

“Who’s name *is* on the bottle?” [Did *I* fill this??]

“Well, I don’t really want divulge that information over the phone right now…” [Why the hell not? It’s obviously going to be fraudulent. “Over the phone” — Do you think I’m tapped?]

Well, regardless…that person and your son have a right to their medical privacy — regardless of the situation

“Hmm…what can you tell me about the medicine.” [Ugh - I’m thinking I’m in a tight spot here]

“I’ll just tell you this: both Wikipedia and Google can be very good resources when it comes to finding accurate drug information.”

“I don’t have access to a computer or the internet right now, and I need to know this information immediately.” [His voice was agitated, but concerned at this point. I was wondering if maybe the kid had popped a handful and the father was wondering what was going on. I then questioned my liability if THAT were the case. I buckled…]

“What questions do you have?

“This is a painkiller right?” [You don’t hear the word ‘painkiller’ used much anymore - Bad stigma]

Well, first let me say I’m just telling you this information because I have no doubt in my find you would easily find it on the internet. I’m merely saving you the time and trouble. [He gave me a confirmatory “Uh huh” here. I’m not saying that this little schpeal would defer any liability from me if I did break any rules/laws, but it made me feel good inside.] “Anyway, I would not classify this drug as a ‘pain killer’ as much as I would call it an analgesic. But, it is used in the treatment of moderate pain.”

“Is it abusable? How do you abuse it?” [Basically, how much do you take for a buzz?]

“Well, it’s not good medical practice for a healthcare professional to tell anyone how to abuse a medicine, but I’d say overuse and high doses are the culprit.” [Duh, right?]

“Is it like Dilaudid?” [How would someone that knows nothing of Tramadol pull DILAUDID out of the air? It’s like comparing a tricycle to an 18-wheeler.]

Ohh my gosh, no. Not even close. They are both opioids, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end. Dilaudid is probably a thousand times stronger.”

“Mmhmm. What would happen if someone took a whole bunch of these?”

“Well, I’d definitely not recommend that at all. This drug increases serotonin. That’s where the euphoria it causes comes from, but that effect also makes it more likely that the person could have a seizure. The high doses also cause nausea. That’s primarily what prevents the abuse of Tramadol.” [I recently read some stuff about Tramadol abuse, so I was pretty familiar with what it does]

“Well alright, you’ve been very helpful.”

No problem. May I make a suggestion? [He said “Sure”] You need to either contact the pharmacy that filled that prescription since it’s not in your son’s name or get rid of that bottle and the medicine all together. Having that in your possession could cause some legal ramifications even though the medicine is not controlled in the USA.”

“Okay thanks alot.”

-=+=-

Interesting, eh?

Perplexing….

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My encounter with a douchebag DEA Agent

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Me being a dick, Rude, Stupid People, True Story

It was a busier day. It was me and my tech slaving away at the counter. Up walks “Agent Smith” from the DEA/BNDD. I don’t mind these guys coming in - hell, I love hearing their stories and finding out who they’re trying to track down. I do what I can to help. I even keep their business cards and call them if I find anything new out. I sometimes make a few calls when I think something shady is going on. Not anymore, at least not to this guy…he doesn’t deserve my help.

He strolled in at 9:30am. I’m still plugging away on the queue and trying to make Doctor calls at the same time. He wanted information on we’ll say, ‘Barbara Streisand’. She’d visited me about 6 months ago. He told me he thinks the script was fraudulent. He wants it. “Well, lemme check. Yup…Just as I thought. It’s in my storage room boxed up. It’s in the back of the store under lock-and-key. I’d hafta get it for you.”

“Okay. I’ve got a meeting at 10:30am across town. How quick can we get it?”
[Haha! Sorry, dick.]
“Well it’s just me and my technician today. I can’t go get it and leave a pharmacy open with no pharmacist, and I can’t send my tech because I just can’t operate the pharmacy with one person.”
“I need it for my case against her…When can I get it?”
[I am no longer amused at this point.]
“I close at 9pm tonite. I can go get it then rather than go home. I can fax it to you or snail mail it tomorrow afternoon…”
“That will do…”
[Of course it will do! You have no other options. I’m not *your* employee.]

We go about our business, and he is perusing our computer system (I had him sign one of my blanket HIPAA release forms for law enforcement when he came in and make notations of any profile(s) he viewed - I ain’t no geek off the streets). He then asked if he could make some local calls. I’ve got four lines - sure thing, Agent Smith. He asks me for the number to a few nearby drugstores, and I hastily oblige.

Phone rings. My tech answers. He then barks at my tech away from the receiver he’s holding in his right hand, “I’m on this line!” My tech immediately hangs up, and he remarks, “You disconnected my call!” I could tell my tech felt about 4 inches tall. I felt the entire situation a bit odd. How did he get disconnected? That’s not how our phones work. You can’t disconnect a call from on one phone from another phone. That’d be stupid. [See where this is going yet?]

Phone rings. My tech is still shaken. So, I answer. I hear him in my left ear from his mouth and my right ear from the receiver, “I’m ON THIS LINE!” What could I do? I immediately hung up. He then snarls at *me* — “You people keep disconnecting my calls!” Then it both clicked and snapped. The click was my realization of what was going on. The snap was my demeanor and professionalism.

“That’s because YOU are calling OUR pharmacy! You’ve called - we answer. We hear your voice and hang up on you because you freak out!”
[He didn’t get it - I could tell from the furrow in his brow…or he didn’t believe his shear idiocy.]
“What’s the number to this pharmacy?”
[I flung my business card at him like I was throwing playing cards in a hat]
“Whoops…”

That’s right. All we got was a damn, “Whoops” — no apology. No, “my bad, dogg.” Fucking. WHOOPS. I was angry that he snapped at my tech. I was pissed he yelled at me. How did he not realize this when my voice system answered with “THANK YOU FOR CALLING _________ on ___________ road in ____________, ___________.” He was calling Walgreens - that is definitely NOT what my computer answers with…

He quickly made his phone calls (he got the number right from then on) and made his way out the door. He left his card, but I *misplaced* it.

I’ll get that script to him in a few weeks…

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Let’s band together and get rid of this junk

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Stupid People, Work Sucks

I am so freaking sick of selling pseudoephedrine! Yesterday, I worked a 12 hour day (minus the 25 minute lunch break I got). I made 52 pseudoephedrine sales. 52! That’s a ton, considering I filled 130 prescriptions. Jeez! I carry Brand and generic of Pseudoephedrine, Claritin-D, 12-hour Sudafed, Drixoral, a few Tylenol Products, Advil and Aleve “cold and sinus,” and a few liquids. Here’s my big beef with all this Sudafed bull, THERE IS NO REASON FOR COMBINATION PRODUCTS TO BE BEHIND THE COUNTER! All these restrictions have done is made me the highest paid (and most educated) cashier in the country. “I’m getting paid wait to work a register??”

This CMEA crap was poorly written. PURE pseudoephedrine products SHOULD be restricted - more heavily than they are in some localities. But, Claritin-D should not be limited in sale to anyone….PERIOD! It’s fucking retarded. Do you think some idiot fuckhead making meth knows how to extract loratadine and get just the pure pseudoephedrine he wants. Same goes with anything in a combination product. Hell, we’ve been doing that for YEARS! Anyone know why Hydrocodone has tylenol with it? DER - so it can’t be crushed solubilized and injected. It’s the same kind of thought process I’m wanting used in this Sudafed crapola. We make it impossible to get what they want - so it’s safer.

Drixoral, Claritin-D, Aleve Cold and Sinus, Advil Cold and Sinus, Benadryl-D, Tylenol Congestion, Pediacare Decongestant/Cough, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on.

Sell them - period. Don’t write it down. Don’t take a picture. Don’t bother people.

I demand this be done or pseudoephedrine be made Rx Only. Of course, my demands usually carry as much weight as a fart in the wind…

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Do you sell syringes?

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Stupid People, True Story

Here’s another post asking other pharmacist’s how they handle the situation. My state allows me to sell syringes with no prescription. My pharmacy’s regulations allow me to sell syringes without a prescription. Do I have to? Naw. Do I? It depends. What about you?

If some scuzzo comes in and asks for them. I usually ask what insulin they are using (I picked this tip up from TheAngryPharmacist.com). If they can answer, I will oblige. If they cannot, I tell them that I can’t sell them insulin syringes unless they can prove they are using them for insulin.

If someone comes in and buys a bottle of Humulin, there’s no problem there…

And we never break boxes. You are diabetic. 10 syringes will do you no good. Your disease state is not going away.

Recently, I had a guy ask for them for a roommate. He didn’t know what kind of insulin, but the roommate was in the store. So they both came back a few minutes later. They both had collegiate baseball practice uniforms on for a local. These weren’t the kind of jersey you can buy either…these guys were on the baseball team. The guy ended up telling me that they were for a cat that got Regular insulin. These meatheads were juicing. But, I seriously doubt they can get IM with the 1cc short needles I sold them. They came back the next day and tried to return them. No dice - can’t take them back. You lost out on like 15 bucks kid. I snooped around on the internet trying to find a NCAA D2 email address for someone involved with testing or prevention. I couldn’t find anything. It wouldn’t be a HIPPA violation since I didn’t even know their names. Anyway, if these kids want to do that stuff, let ‘em. Shrink their balls. Give them back-ne. Roid Rages. Whatever…

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Can you identify this pill?

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, True Story

Calling all pharmacists! Do you identify pills over the phone? People call me once a week or so asking to identify “this little pill” they just found. There are two schools of thought from pharmacists. The first says, “I can’t adequately identify the pill. If I tell them wrong I am liable if the pill hurts them. I am not poison control.” The second thought says, “Well, I am the right person for this job. I’ll go ahead and give it my best shot. Hell, maybe it’s an easy one. I’ll just tell the person that I can’t 100% identify the pill.” I’m a little of both. It’s sad, but I guess it depends on my workload to some extent. If I have time to do the research, I’ll help the person out. If I can’t help them, I give them the number to Poison Control. They have the resources to help.

Today, a man called me and opened with, “I found this pill in my son’s room, and I want to know what he’s taking.” - Uh-oh I thought to myself. This could be a HIPPA nightmare. I asked the son’s age. He’s under 18…WAY under 18. As far as I know, I really still can’t identify the pill. Kids have rights too. What if it were a /catholic/ girl and it happened to be birth control. I could get myself in to a world of hurt. So, I explain this to the guy. He seems to understand. He brings up the point of me talking to the teen. I’m not opposed to it, I was slow today. The kid gets on the phone, and I know it’s awkward. The kid sounds scared shitless. Hell, dad just found drugs in your room, kid. You’re fucked. Anyway, I ask the kid if he wants me to identify the pill. He tells me it’s not his, so I can do what I want. Dad gets back on the phone and tells me the inscription, “par 166.” So, I used my connections and check Clinical Pharmacology (which is a great tool for ANYTHING), and it comes up to Benztropine (generic Cogentin).

I tell the father what I’ve found. He asks what it’s for. I tell him usually Parkinson’s Dz or sometimes tremors/shakes in general. I told him that a teenager would have no use for it, and if he did, responsible parents would know. Dad asks if it’s abusable. I told him based on the SE profile, most definitely no.

Not two minutes later a lady calls. She says she has a prescription for B-e-n-z-t-r-o-p-i-n-e. The pharmacist didn’t give her any handouts or anything. She wants to know why she’s taking it and what side effects she could expect. I told her the parkinsons/tremors shpeal. The she asks what SE there are. I told her the opposite of SLUD: Dry mouth, dry eyes, blurred vision, urinary retention, and constipation. She asked me if it will make her drowsy or give her a buzz. I once again say, “It most certainly will not.”

Now, I’m sure most people will see that these calls are obviously connected. It’s rare that I would get even a single call on benztropine, let alone two calls in five minutes time. But, why the person would have a wife or significant other call back (to the same pharmacy, der) just a few moments later is beyond me. I don’t understand at all. Did the not believe me? Was I being tested in my ability to tell the truth? Would I tell the female the same information? It’s a mystery.

Nonetheless, HAPPY FILLING!

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EDIT: I didn’t realize these things were as abusable as they are. I’ve done a little research and found out that the commenter was more than correct. A few too many of these things can cause some trippy hallucinations. This is less than unsafe - and of course is not recommended. I’ll be sure to watch for this a little more carefully in the future.

Combat Methamphetamine Enforcement Act - Sudafed Laws…WTF?

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Laws, Stupid People, Work Sucks

Well, it’s been over a year, and the CMEA is in full effect. Personally, I think this Act is a complete load of pie-in-the-sky bullshit. It is completely ineffective and not even close to achieving its intention. All it has done is turned me into a cashier/law enforcer. It’s a royal pain in the ass.

Here’s a basic outline of the law: 1) A person can buy a maximum of 3.6 grams of Pseudoephedrine in one day. 2) A person can buy a maximum 9 grams of Pseudoephedrine in a 30-day period (not a calendar month - 30 consecutive days). 3) State-issued photo identification required to verify age > 18 yrs. All applicable information logged (name, address, DOB, DL#, etc.) 4) The person must sign a form indicating they are aware that all of this information is logged and law enforcement can request access to it. 5) The purchase must be rang out by a person with a valid pharmacy license (Tech, Pharmacist and finally intern - they miswrote the law at first and Interns couldn’t sell it).

Sounds good eh? Not really. People get pissed. They feel that their privacy is violated when I ask for their license. Of course, I don’t give a shit. I abide by the law…point blank. Every chain and independent pharmacy has a different way of logging this information. We use a huge 3 ring binder. Each person gets their own sheet, and we keep them alphabetized. Walgreens does the same. Walmart has the feature tied in with their computer system and you sign the credit card pad for it. As far as I know, Walmart is the only company that has computerized the process.

Does anyone else see the loophole here? What’s to stop a person from buying 3.6 grams from Walgreens, 3.6 grams from Walmart, and 3.6 grams from every independent within a 100 mile radius? Not a god damn thing.

Well, until the government gets its head out of its ass and asks someone who knows first hand, the problem isn’t going away. My suggestion? Make Pseudoephedrine require a prescription. I guarantee that going to the doctor’s office and paying a copayment isn’t worth another batch of meth. Maybe it is; I don’t know. But, I guarantee it will be much more of a pain in the ass, and it will be easier to regulate. It will be possible for chains with the technology to see if it has been recently filled at neighboring stores. It’s easier for the DEA to see who’s filling oodles of this shit, and where it is going. It worked for codeine.

Until then…stick around…I have to go work the fucking register…

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