I hate it when…
...Other pharmacists don't want to fill shit so they call me telling me that they don't have it only to send over the C-II script that isn't signed. I really had that happen today. The other pharmacist called the MD and got a verification - for what reason, I don't know. I guess he/she neglected to consider what the DEA thinks (You can't change patient name, drug, or signature on a C-II in the USA). So, just to be a dick, I had my tech fax over a copy of the DEA Requirements concerning a C-II script (I happened to have something itemizing everything on a script with a bulleted outline on what can be changed and what cannot). I'm sure that pharmacist thought I was a huge dick - I thought I was freakin' hilarious.
-=+=-
I hit a new personal record today. I received 20 NEW, PAPER prescriptions from an assortment of people in the 10 minutes before I closed for lunch. I had filled 50 fucking scripts up to that point. I got 13 from an elderly couple returning from vacation, 3 from a guy that I'll never see again, the C-II script above, 2 for a baby that mommy had been holding on to for 3 days, and 1 for a fucking ferret. Never filled for a ferret before, but I guess he deserves to eat up my lunch half-hour. I went to work on these people as the piled into a fucking line at my drop off. I convinced the old folks to come back in 4 hours (they wanted to wait...cocks), the guy I'll never see again would come back after lunch (he saw the hunger in my eye), mommy was gonna come back after lunch (she never did - poor child), the ferret was coming back in an hour, and the C-II was my only wait-er...We know how that turned out.
-=+=-
I complemented a lady today on how well behaved her two girls were as they waited for their prescription. They sat quietly talking to each other and bothered no one. Mom read a magazine and never even looked up at the kids. It was amazing. I couldn't believe how well 2 five and six-year-old girls minded so well. When their script was finished, I called them up, mom paid for her script, I told her how good her children were, and as they were leaving, one of those little sluts turned around and threw her sucker at me. It hit me in the throat and left a bunch of red gook on my nice white jacket. I hope that little bitch gets pregnant before high school.
I handled it well, though. I just said, "Hey! That wasn't nice [insert swears under breath]!"
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And to believe I kept my cool…I shoulda went apeshit!
I'm very proud to post the following story. It shows that I have grown up, so-to-speak. I actually kept my cool today. Make no mistake, I was completely pissed off. I was so angry I couldn't see straight, but I kept my emotions in check...
This middle aged lady brings in a box of Alavert-D to return it. She bought it yesterday, but meant to buy (read: waste her money) just plain ole Alavert. She had the receipt...but it didn't matter. The box was opened. Hell, there may have been a tablet or two gone.
"I'd like to return this. The manager told me that if you had a problem to call him..."
[I think it's cute the manager is trying to flex his nuts here. At the same time, I hate him for pawning this off on me...]
"Well ma'am. It's not really a matter of me calling the manager in this situation. I simply cannot return this product for a plethora of reasons. It's been opened. It's a controlled-substance now, and the main reason I can't accept it back is because it's against the law. Once a medcine leaves the pharmacy, I can't take it back."
[Here's where it gets funny. I usually allow the person to say something here - mostly to see what their thoughts are. If they even just say 'well I really wanna return it' I tell them that I'll do them one better...I'll give them store credit for the cost of the product AND let them keep it. Hell, I can't resell it. I can't do anything with it. It's a bitch to return - so I leave it with them.]
This bitch didn't even give me the CHANCE to give her the cake AND let her eat it. She got so huffed up she grabbed her little plastic back, snatched her receipt, and literally marched the fuck out of my pharmacy. And it wasn't a slow march - this bitch was moving. She was almost RUNNING.
I was taken aback. I kept my cool. I didn't call her a bitch, idiot, or any of the other words running through my mind. Ohh, I wanted too.
I just left her with one word, "BYE!"
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More random stories from the abyss…
A lady came to the counter day that was 120 if she was a day old. She asked me where the per-mints were. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. I ask her what they were for, and she looked at me like I'd asked her where babies come from. "You put it in your hair and it makes your hair curly..." I realized what she meant at this point. Before I could get out a syllable of direction, she turned her head and began screaming at the top of her lungs, "RUTH! RUTH! RUUUTH!" -- I was expecting the Babe himself to be walking down the aisle. She scampered off after the phantom, "Ruth." I was fully expecting a camera crew to come spring a practical joke on me...
-=+=-
Again...when I ask someone, "Have you filled here before?" The answer I'm looking for is NOT, "Well, not this one..." -- Duh...I'm holding the prescription...
Why are you retarded?
-=+=-
Some rando came in today and wanted two boxes of twenty-four-hour Sudafed. He bought one yesterday as well. His NON-DRIVER license address is 20 miles away - I confirmed with him that it was correct. I told him that two was over the limit, just as it was yesterday when he asked. I also asked him what happened to the box from yesterday. He lost it.
Aside: Normally I don't ask. Hell, most people I tell to come back tomorrow and again the next day and get their month supply in three days so they don't have to worry about it. This joker had black shit under his fingernails, major meth mouth, was wearing a doo-rag, had long hair, and was covered in tattoos. Yes, I am aware that he has sinuses as well, but he passed 10 pharmacies to get to mine two days in a row (one of those days being a Sunday) to try and purchase 24-hr Sudafed.
Anyway, I was in a dick mood - go figure - and I told him that I was out. He looked at the shelf and pointed, "It's right there." I told him I didn't feel comfortable making the sale since he bought it yesterday and he's from so far away from home. He then told me that I was required by law to make the sale. He could have me arrested! I said I wasn't aware of the law, and I offered to call the police to come nab me for the criminal I am...then we would see who they would want to arrest...He declined...
-=+=-
Speaking of an above note - what's the deal with NON-DRIVER ID CARDS? I'd say that around 30-40% of my Sudafed sales are to people flinging over a non-driver id card instead of a valid drivers license. I know it's state issued and used for stuff like that, but it seems weird to me. I know that this people didn't just magically teleport to my pharmacy -- they fucking drove. They don't have a license....I don't like it at all...
-=+=-
I filled a script today for a cat. Lantus and syringes...to the tune of 120-something dollars..."Mommy" came in to pick up schnuckum's scripts. I shit you not, this lady paid me in one-dollar bills. 121 one-dollar bills. I said nothing. I merely smiled. She told me that "she was not a stripper...she was a bartender...and her boss wouldn't let her change out the ones for larger bills..." Where was she a bartender? A nearby strip club...
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My encounter with a douchebag DEA Agent
It was a busier day. It was me and my tech slaving away at the counter. Up walks "Agent Smith" from the DEA/BNDD. I don't mind these guys coming in - hell, I love hearing their stories and finding out who they're trying to track down. I do what I can to help. I even keep their business cards and call them if I find anything new out. I sometimes make a few calls when I think something shady is going on. Not anymore, at least not to this guy, he doesn't deserve my help.
He strolled in at 9:30am. I'm still plugging away on the queue and trying to make Doctor calls at the same time. He wanted information on we'll say, "Barbara Streisand." She visited me about 6 months ago. He told me he thinks the script was fraudulent. He wants it. "Well, lemme check. Yup! Just as I thought. It's in my storage room boxed up. It's in the back of the store under lock-and-key. I'd hafta get it for you."
"Okay. I've got a meeting at 10:30am across town. How quick can we get it?"
[Haha! Sorry, dick.]
"Well it's just me and my technician today. I can't go get it and leave a pharmacy open with no pharmacist, and I can't send my tech because I just can't operate the pharmacy with one person."
"I need it for my case against her. When can I get it?"
[I am no longer amused at this point.]
"I close at 9pm tonite. I can go get it then rather than go home. I can fax it to you or snail mail it tomorrow afternoon."
"That will do!"
[Of course it will do! You have no other options. I'm not *your* employee.]
We go about our business, and he is perusing our computer system (I had him sign one of my blanket HIPAA release forms for law enforcement when he came in and make notations of any profile(s) he viewed - I ain't no geek off the streets). He then asked if he could make some local calls. I've got four lines - sure thing, Agent Smith. He asks me for the number to a few nearby drugstores, and I hastily oblige.
Phone rings. My tech answers. He then barks at my tech away from the receiver he's holding in his right hand, "I'm on this line!" My tech immediately hangs up, and he remarks, "You disconnected my call!" I could tell my tech felt about 4 inches tall. I felt the entire situation a bit odd. How did he get disconnected? That's not how our phones work. You can't disconnect a call on one phone from another phone. That'd be stupid. [See where this is going yet?]
Phone rings. My tech is still shaken. So, I answer. I hear him in my left ear from his mouth and my right ear from the receiver, "I'm ON THIS LINE!" What could I do? I immediately hung up. He then snarls at *me*! "You people keep disconnecting my calls!" Then it both clicked and snapped. The click was my realization of what was going on. The snap was my demeanor and professionalism.
"That's because YOU are calling OUR pharmacy! You've called - we answer. We hear your voice and hang up on you because you freak out!"
[He didn't get it - I could tell from the furrow in his brow - he didn't believe his shear idiocy.]
"What's the number to this pharmacy?"
[I flung my business card at him like I was throwing playing cards in a hat]
"Whoops..."
That's right. All we got was a damn, "Whoops” no apology. No,"my bad, dogg." Fucking. WHOOPS. I was angry that he snapped at my tech. I was pissed he yelled at me. How did he not realize this when my voice system answered with "THANK YOU FOR CALLING _________ on ___________ road in ____________, ___________." He was attempting to call Walgreens - that is definitely NOT what my computer answers with!
He quickly made his phone calls (he got the number right from then on) and made his way out the door. He left his card, but I *misplaced* it.
I'll get that script to him in a few weeks!
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