The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Can you identify this pill?

Calling all pharmacists! Do you identify pills over the phone? People call me once a week or so asking to identify “this little pill” they just found. There are two schools of thought from pharmacists. The first says, “I can’t adequately identify the pill. If I tell them wrong I am liable if the pill hurts them. I am not poison control.” The second thought says, “Well, I am the right person for this job. I’ll go ahead and give it my best shot. Hell, maybe it’s an easy one. I’ll just tell the person that I can’t 100% identify the pill.” I’m a little of both. It’s sad, but I guess it depends on my workload to some extent. If I have time to do the research, I’ll help the person out. If I can’t help them, I give them the number to Poison Control. They have the resources to help.

Today, a man called me and opened with, “I found this pill in my son’s room, and I want to know what he’s taking.” - Uh-oh I thought to myself. This could be a HIPPA nightmare. I asked the son’s age. He’s under 18…WAY under 18. As far as I know, I really still can’t identify the pill. Kids have rights too. What if it were a /catholic/ girl and it happened to be birth control. I could get myself in to a world of hurt. So, I explain this to the guy. He seems to understand. He brings up the point of me talking to the teen. I’m not opposed to it, I was slow today. The kid gets on the phone, and I know it’s awkward. The kid sounds scared shitless. Hell, dad just found drugs in your room, kid. You’re fucked. Anyway, I ask the kid if he wants me to identify the pill. He tells me it’s not his, so I can do what I want. Dad gets back on the phone and tells me the inscription, “par 166.” So, I used my connections and check Clinical Pharmacology (which is a great tool for ANYTHING), and it comes up to Benztropine (generic Cogentin).

I tell the father what I’ve found. He asks what it’s for. I tell him usually Parkinson’s Dz or sometimes tremors/shakes in general. I told him that a teenager would have no use for it, and if he did, responsible parents would know. Dad asks if it’s abusable. I told him based on the SE profile, most definitely no.

Not two minutes later a lady calls. She says she has a prescription for B-e-n-z-t-r-o-p-i-n-e. The pharmacist didn’t give her any handouts or anything. She wants to know why she’s taking it and what side effects she could expect. I told her the parkinsons/tremors shpeal. The she asks what SE there are. I told her the opposite of SLUD: Dry mouth, dry eyes, blurred vision, urinary retention, and constipation. She asked me if it will make her drowsy or give her a buzz. I once again say, “It most certainly will not.”

Now, I’m sure most people will see that these calls are obviously connected. It’s rare that I would get even a single call on benztropine, let alone two calls in five minutes time. But, why the person would have a wife or significant other call back (to the same pharmacy, der) just a few moments later is beyond me. I don’t understand at all. Did the not believe me? Was I being tested in my ability to tell the truth? Would I tell the female the same information? It’s a mystery.

Nonetheless, HAPPY FILLING!

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EDIT: I didn’t realize these things were as abusable as they are. I’ve done a little research and found out that the commenter was more than correct. A few too many of these things can cause some trippy hallucinations. This is less than unsafe - and of course is not recommended. I’ll be sure to watch for this a little more carefully in the future.

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