Mind Your Own Business

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Money, Rude, Stupid People, True Story

The Angriest Fiance and I visited a local eatery tonight. Not a high priced place like PF Chang’s, but we certainly weren’t at McDonald’s. Quite frankly, I think the place is into witchcraft. I saw their delicacy of choice in a large tank of dihydrogen monoxide when I entered, and they were brownish black. Yet, when they served me a dead one to eat, it was obviously bright red. Either they are wikken-kind or someone has some talent with the paint brush in the kitchen.

All kidding aside, it was 9pm. It was an odd assortment of customers. We sat across from a black man and woman. It was her birthday. Our waiter was amazing. He was polite, quick, and always around when he needed to be. Anyway, it was the lady’s birthday - she was rewarded with a free daiquiri for her achievements.

As our wonderful waiter was serving us our salads and asking us if we needed anything else, our neighbor across the aisle decided that he needed my waiter’s attention more than I did. I guess he didn’t notice the fact that I had a male waiter, while his server was most definitely a female. Nonetheless, he let out a resounding, “Excuse me!” while a salad was being placed before me. In pure Angriest-Pharmacist fashion, the waiter ignored the man like he was a fart in the wind. After we were tended to, the waiter’s response was perfect. He acknowledged the man (barely), told him to wait just a second as he returned the “serving table” to the back, and walked away. He never returned — however their waitress came by a few moments later. I found this absolutely hilarious.

Finally, they brought out our main course. I proceeded to chow down on my feast before me. As most may know, there is some splatter involved with food that lives in water. You break a hard shell to get to the sweet, succulent, heroin-like substance within. I’m also a very, very, very messy eater. I got a little on me…and my date. She was not as amused as I was.

Our neighbors thought my entire meal was quite funny. They giggled and laughed. Hell, I think they pointed. It was pretty fucking irritating. I’m not sure why someone would spend more time watching someone else eat than staring at their own food and their own wife’s tits. I hope they enjoyed my dinner - I did.

Moral: Keep your eyes on your own fucking plate.
Tip on $50 check? $15 for service. $5 for ignoring rude ass people.

More sins? What’s next - cheap prescriptions?

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Management, Me being a dick, Money, Politics

In case you were unsure beforehand, you *are* going to hell. The Vatican just solidified that in stone by adding a few new sins.

• Environmental pollution
• Genetic manipulation
• Accumulating excessive wealth
• Inflicting poverty
• Drug trafficking and consumption
• Morally debatable experiments

Let’s talk about them for a second. Environmental pollution — new age sinning created just for those of us in the 21st century. Gideon’s Bibles anyone? What about making birth control “wrong” as the church has done? Doesn’t that contribute to overcrowding and pollution? Sure it does. I wonder if burning witches contributed any to the greenhouse effect? Heck, it could be the cause! Witches in the atmosphere could be what Al Gore is trying to expose here…

Genetic manipulation — this is a load of bullshit. I wonder if monoclonal antibodies fit in here? What about the cancer that God allowed someone to get? It’s a manipulation of a gene. Is someone that gets cancer a sinner - or is just the cancer going to hell? What about the delicious corn I had for dinner last night? It was manipulated to grow bigger, faster, and more delicious. Is the corn a sinner, or am I a sinner for eating it?

Accumulating excessive wealth — wow. “Don’t get money, but if you have it, go ahead and give 10% to the church and we’ll absolve you.” Holy shit - what if someone wins a lottery? What about a high stakes bingo game? — that the church held? Michael Jordan is a sinner for being loaded - just because we paid him to put a ball through a hoop…What about Bill and Melinda Gates — arguably the most generous donators of all time (Microsoft stuff withstanding). What about me? I make a healthy wage - some would call it excessive. It’s obviously more than I need because others have less and do fine. Of course, we knew I was going to hell. I wonder what the GDP of Vatican City is…

Inflicting poverty — I’m not even going to list the number of people this makes a sinner…including the church. Of course, they’ve helped billions…but how many fathers died in the Crusades (any of them) leaving wife and son in poverty and/or servitude? What about me - having to charge hundreds of dollars to a patient for lifesaving therapy? Or the drug company charging my wholesaler an arm an a leg for that drug? Or even the PBMs gobbling up all the profits from every direction and, in a way, making us all just a little bit poorer?

Drug trafficking and consumption — I looked this one up for clarification. It includes consuming any drug that has a mind altering affect. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? Not only is every person in America a sinner, I am the Harbringer of Death. Alcohol, caffeine, Xanax, opiates, Barbiturates — if it breaks the blood-brain-barriers, the Vatican says, “NO!” And trafficking? Again - talk about pointing a finger directly at me…SHIT! Next point - let’s make alcohol a sin, but continue to gobble it up during service, at the beer wagon during the school carnival, and any other time we see fit. It’s only a sin if you drink more than the Catholics do…if you drink less than they do, you are a pussy.

Morally debatable experiments — Whoa. Think about all the pertinent medical research that won’t get done now because some zealot sitting on an IRB will read too much into this, consider risks more than benefits, or just not even listen at all (as Christians are so good at doing). Now, I’m not defending research that consists of “let’s stop this heparin drip and see how long it takes a clot to develop in various patients” — I’m defending research that I don’t understand, know that’s going on, or may/may not involve some part of a zygote (don’t even type the fucking word fetus on my website - I’ll snap. Fetus = 8 weeks+ Which is why I could care less about dispensing Plan B…) Regardless — this is going harm medical advancement for the years to come. I wonder if this refers to private bedroom experimentation between the sexes? I mean, come on…we’ve all *ahem* Nevermind. Let’s just say that this may be targeting certain sexual preferences…not like the church would ever do that….would they?

Overall, I feel cheated that I have more ways to sin and find my way into Hell than those born in the 19th century. Why do those horse riding fools have a better chance than me of getting into heaven? Bogus. More importantly, can I get any ex post facto leniency here? Doubtful. I’ve got all kinds of purgatory headed my way — don’t I?

NOTE: Before commenting, read the URL of this website.
NOTE 2: If you post one fucking word about the prescence or absence of an almighty, I will be the one doing the smiting. I’m not looking for theological discussion on this site. I just merely wanted to bitch a little about these new rules some people have to play by that don’t make and damn sense, are somewhat hypocritical, and don’t apply to me cause I don’t give a rat’s ass.

Thundercats are go…

Scambaiting

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Me being a dick, Money, Stupid People, True Story

A while back I received an intruiging offer from “Laurent Amoussan.” Believe it or not, he’s the son of a deceased Doctor who had a TON of money in the bank ($9 MILLION!). He was afraid that his government would take the money from him because of his “small age.” With a little help, I can get him the money and he can give me a LOT of money in return. I just needed to transfer him $3,000 via Western Union to get the money out! How could I turn down a sure fire investment like this??? [end idiocy]

Anyway - I logged all of these emails where I posed as Hawaiian native, pharmacist John McLovin…and I demanded they refer to me only as McLovin’ — Eventually, ‘another man’ got involved — HE WAS A LAWYER! WOW!

I compiled the correspondence in a word document which I converted to a PDF. I strongly suggest everyone download and read this file. It’s both informative, educational, and absolutely HILARIOUS.

DOWNLOAD PDF Screwin With Spammers

It’s a long read - I’d say skim their crap and focus on my replies.
Nothing has been edited — their grammar, spacing, anything! They really are retarded!

You are broke like the rest of us

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Money, Work Sucks

Like all Pharmacists out there, I’m a cashier. That’s right - I’m one of the highest paid cashiers in the entire country. Anyway, am I the only person that rings out a “rich-broke person” every single day? You know who I’m talking about…

“Okay, that will be $96.12 - You can swipe your card right there…”
“I’m going to use my debit card…”
[swipe]
“It says ‘Card Issuer Denied The Charge’.”
“What that’s crazy. That account has over twenty thousand dollars in it…”

Yeah fucking right. My checking account has, at its HIGHEST one-tenth of that amount. How did you get all that money? And, more importantly, why would it say no for a measly $96.12? I’ll tell you why - you don’t have that much money and you’re embarrassed. It’s okay. I’m 100 thousand dollars in debt - The vast majority of my money is gone immediately after my direct deposit hits the bank. Don’t lie about it. [I know, that's fucking harsh - forgive me]

Then there’s my favorite…they guy that’s Credit Card gets denied and he was hoping his deposit got applied already so he’s back below his credit limit. That’s fine - I played those games before…in college! But, once you’re an adult it’s time to grow up, and put away childish things…

People! Stop living outside your means. Credit card companies FEED on that idea nowadays. They want you to spend, spend, spend, and then live the rest of your life paying on the interest and not the actual debt. You’re screwed. You’re spinning your tires in a rut you’ll never get out of.

Credit cards are for large purchases (and emergencies) only - something you don’t have the cash on hand to buy but have the assets available TO BUY. Pay the bill as soon as it comes in and don’t let the interest every acrue a dime on you…They get you buy offering ZERO PERCENT INTEREST UNTIL 2009! WOO HOO! So, you can rack up 5 grand on the card in the mean time, not pay a dime, and get your sigmoid pounded when it hits you in a few years. Don’t be fooled…Transfering the balance may work - but it will catch up with you!

Of course that’ll never work - otherwise Visa, Mastercard, and AMEX wouldn’t exist. They’d be out of business.