Funny Story

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Engrish, True Story

I’m back! Sorry for the absence…I was delayed.

Anyway, I’m telling you that only to tell you this, I’m leaving again. It’s vacation time for The Angriest Pharmacist, and I will have NO access to the website for 10 days or so. Lil’ Laura will probably post a few things, and she will tend to the comments to make sure that they get released from moderation and properly berated in bold (As I’ve begun doing lately - it’s easier than replying).

So, here’s a funny story from last night - not pharmacy. I went to the gas station to pick up some chewing tobacco. Save me your comments on the evils of nicotine. If I cared, I wouldn’t do it. Anyway, I went into a random shop and asked if they had my brand of choice. They did. So, I told the lady, who was Mexican and didn’t speak fluent English, but she knew enough to get by easily. I told her I wanted all of them. She was aghast. Who would want ALL of these little cans of dirt?

She started pulling them out, and I stopped her at 7. The rest went like this:

I’m going on vacation, and I don’t know where I’ll be.
You going on vacation and you don’t know where?
Well, I know where I’m going. I just don’t know if I’ll have access to a gas station that sells this fine product.
Well, since you gonna be lost, at least you have a lot of dirt to suck on.

I’ll be back after my ten days of sucking on dirt. See you all then!

TAestP

PS - I added a Tweet on the right sidebar. I’ll definitely send some stuff to that as hilarious/irritating things happen while I’m in paradise.

Cool little website

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Update

I found a cool website. It’s a great time waster, but it impressed me nonetheless.

The website URL is http://www.easyjo.com/led.php

Enjoy!

PS — The video of the BAD Consultation has been downloaded 1500 times since it was posted. Wow.

Damn Bicycles

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Laws, Me being a dick, Stupid People, True Story

I was driving home tonight, and I came to a “T” in the road. I was turning right. A bicyclist flew across the intersection the same way I was headed. I was nowhere near hitting her, but she ran the stop sign plain and simple. I made my turn, passed her in the left passing lane, and proceeded. She ran another fucking stop sign — passing me up. I made my way past her another time and got to the light….She didn’t run the light, but I rolled down my window.

“IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE FUCKING ROAD, YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD. STOP RUNNING FUCKING STOP SIGNS YOU STUPID BITCH”

She rattled off some inane babble about “did you see that red car right in front of me? were you watching that red car???”

I think she was implying that since she was tailing a red car very closely, that the red car’s stop counted as her own. Readers, I can assure you that while, in theory, this sounds correct — she is in fact a stupid, dumb bitch and needed a good kick in the cunt…which I would had delivered had I not be on a very important mission to get home and drink beer.

Attention bicyclists! I can accept your hippie ways. I can become accustomed to your unwashed hair and your vegan lifestyle for the betterment of ‘mother earth’ — but, when you’re on my fucking roadways, you obey the laws of the road you hippie scum. I don’t give a fuck how much you are reducing your carbon imprint…or mine!

If I had hit that fat, pear-shaped slut, my ass would have been in trouble…not hers. The cops wouldn’t have said…”Ohh she ran the stop sign…have a nice day!” They would have said, “You hit a pedestrian? I’ll see you in hell, motherfucker!” Then I would have been locked up.

Stay on the sidewalk, off my roads, and off my fucking last nerve.

Next time I’m going to door-check that sperm-burping whore….

New and Notes

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Update

- I beat Assassin’s Creed today. I hate it when endings of games or movies are merely setups for a sequel rather than a meaningful ending that makes sense. Now I have to way 2-3 years for the sequel on Xbox 720. I swore more in the last 30 minutes of the game than I did playing the whole thing.

- My internet is out so I’m stealing from my neighbor - he must have a different ISP…duh

- Last night I pooped something that was the size of a toddler’s arm. It, however, smelled like a homeless person.

- I have to go do some laundry or I’m going to get beat up tonight.

- Plans are in the works for a Raging Server, Angry Pharmacist, and Angriest Pharmacist get-together. The hijinx plan will end with one of us in jail for the night, one of us in the hospital for alcohol poisoning (just me or TAP - RS doesn’t drink), and many pregnant strippers. Alternate scenarios in my mind end with a midget in the trunk.

- Word on the street is that I might be named to The Pharmacy Alliance executive committee. I gave them a REAL hard time recently, so this is surprising…but I bring a rational, logical mind to the table. I can definitely be of assistance - but I’ll have to clean up my language some…and stop being a prick when someone says something stupid.

- MAJOR NOTE: I’ve got over 140 posts. People that stumble to the site would be hard pressed to read all of them. I want to compile a “Best of..” Page to go on the top next to CONTACT. I’m gonna read through and pick out some of my favorites. However, if you have some personal favorites, please send them to me via the CONTACT link above. It sends me an email notification. I’d really appreciate the input. THANKS!

Mind Your Own Business

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Money, Rude, Stupid People, True Story

The Angriest Fiance and I visited a local eatery tonight. Not a high priced place like PF Chang’s, but we certainly weren’t at McDonald’s. Quite frankly, I think the place is into witchcraft. I saw their delicacy of choice in a large tank of dihydrogen monoxide when I entered, and they were brownish black. Yet, when they served me a dead one to eat, it was obviously bright red. Either they are wikken-kind or someone has some talent with the paint brush in the kitchen.

All kidding aside, it was 9pm. It was an odd assortment of customers. We sat across from a black man and woman. It was her birthday. Our waiter was amazing. He was polite, quick, and always around when he needed to be. Anyway, it was the lady’s birthday - she was rewarded with a free daiquiri for her achievements.

As our wonderful waiter was serving us our salads and asking us if we needed anything else, our neighbor across the aisle decided that he needed my waiter’s attention more than I did. I guess he didn’t notice the fact that I had a male waiter, while his server was most definitely a female. Nonetheless, he let out a resounding, “Excuse me!” while a salad was being placed before me. In pure Angriest-Pharmacist fashion, the waiter ignored the man like he was a fart in the wind. After we were tended to, the waiter’s response was perfect. He acknowledged the man (barely), told him to wait just a second as he returned the “serving table” to the back, and walked away. He never returned — however their waitress came by a few moments later. I found this absolutely hilarious.

Finally, they brought out our main course. I proceeded to chow down on my feast before me. As most may know, there is some splatter involved with food that lives in water. You break a hard shell to get to the sweet, succulent, heroin-like substance within. I’m also a very, very, very messy eater. I got a little on me…and my date. She was not as amused as I was.

Our neighbors thought my entire meal was quite funny. They giggled and laughed. Hell, I think they pointed. It was pretty fucking irritating. I’m not sure why someone would spend more time watching someone else eat than staring at their own food and their own wife’s tits. I hope they enjoyed my dinner - I did.

Moral: Keep your eyes on your own fucking plate.
Tip on $50 check? $15 for service. $5 for ignoring rude ass people.

Recap

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Me being a dick

I hope everyone got the chance to embrace the little joke orchestrated by myself and The Angry Pharmacist — I must say that it played out wonderfully. For the day, my site appeared to have succumbed to a hostile takeover by the DrugLord himself. At the same time, he posted a victory call along with an email alerting all major chains to my doings.

Here’s the screens of his site:

And here are the screens of my site — and the DEAD giveaway:

I hope everyone enjoyed the little joke…and doesn’t feel too alienated…

PS - I’d also like to apologize to The Blonde Pharmacist. I created a little tension with her to help raise awareness of the “issues.” She’s much cooler than Dakota Fanning…:-)

Child dies. Parents Perplexed

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Errors, Me being a dick, Stupid People, True Story

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gy_FocuLcPyslOqVeaOFan8yo7eQD8VM3A680

I just read this. I’m sure most of you all know about it by now - it seems like something that would hit massive airtime on the major networks. If you are religious, close your browser right now. If you think your feelings might be hurt by someone questioning your beliefs, close your browser right now. Last warning.

It’s painfully obvious that The Angriest Pharmacist is not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination. When I was a child, we attended a Methodist church. While in high school, we went to a Baptist (hellfire and brimstone) Church. My mother still goes there. I stopped the day I turned 18 — it was kind of an unspoken agreement between myself and my mother. I wish she’d stop going and come to her senses about the bullshit this guy spews. I wasn’t ever Baptized, but I consider myself to be affluent in the beliefs of the church and all opposing viewpoints. Let’s just say this, on my census form, I put Jedi.

These two parents, especially the mother, need to be jailed. At the very least, her three other children need to be put under protective custody. Why? She cost this little girl her life because she trusted her imaginary friend more than she trusted a doctor she could see, converse with, and touch. If this lady would have told the press she didn’t take her child to the doctor because Satan told her not to, we’d have her ass institutionalized. But, since it was attributed to God, and God is associated with light and goodness, it’s okay because her intentions were in the right place. What’s the difference?

Some of the worst fuckups in the history of mankind were based on good intentions and blind faith. If you need them pointed out, you’re a fucking fool.

I will admit that people have been dying of Diabetic Ketoacidosis for thousands of years. If this little girl would have been born in 1897 rather than 1997, she would have died in her home all the same. The family would have prayed, and she would have died…The issue here surrounds the fact that it’s 2008. Medical science has increased the life expectancy of a white female to nearly 80 years (which is far more than 11). But, the thing that solidifies that this bitch needs jailed is that several family members had been trying to get her to take the child to the hospital for days — and she prayed. Other’s common sense had taken hold over ‘faith’ — yet, mommy’s did not. Daddy’s did not. That’s because they are retarded.

A mother’s common sense — maternal instinct — has to exist…right? Nay — a HUMAN BEING’S COMMON SENSE must exist…right? A child is suffering from nausea, vomiting, excessive thirst, loss of appetite, and weakness for over a month and you do nothing but talk quietly to yourself and hope the child’s pancreas secretes more insulin? Did you get an answer? No. No one talked back to you. You sure as shit got a response.

I’ve heard people say that losing a child is the worst thing that can emotionally happen to a human being. In this case, I hope that’s true.

We did learn one truth — God does not replace Beta-Cells upon special request…maybe she needed a PA?

—–

Some might say to me, you are a faithless piece of shit, I’d kick your ass right now if I could find you. Actually, I’d bet most Christians would — Christians, at least from my neck of the woods are very violent. They’d attack/beat up an atheist just like they would a pedophile…They would beat a person with the very book that preaches (in part) about tolerance, hope, love and charity. Christians have been fighting and killing in the name of God for, well, about 2 thousand years now…I wouldn’t expect much change anytime soon. [Especially now that we have some new 'sins' to fight about!]

Anyway, I would challenge the above statement about myself. I am not without faith, hope, or love [tolerance of others? I'm working on it]. I hold that I have an abundance of all three. I have faith in my abilities, my Brothers, my significant other, the goodness of a stranger — just to name a few. I have unwaivering hope. I always hope for better–for others, myself, those in need/want. I have hope that the future is better than today. I hope that our children learn from our mistakes, and I have faith that we can raise them to meet that challenge. Love - one cannot work in the trenches without love. Love for the patient seeking counsel or the cancer patient seeking relief and comfort. Love for the person sleeping next to them each night. Yes, I have love…and it is the greatest of these.

You may call The Angriest Pharmacist an atheist, but I base my life and the way I live off of Christian teachings, morals, parables, and principles. I may be more Christian than some of the Christians reading this post…

I just question the existence of one more god than they do…

Ohh snap

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Hate Mail, Me being a dick, My nose itches, Update

Well - I’ve got yet another enemy. The Blonde Pharmacist has taken a cheap shot (albeit 13 months after I started this website) at me. She has pretty much demanded that I rescind my domain, change my name, and start anew. Isn’t that cute?

Apparently, she missed last September - when the entire pharmacist Blogosphere was in an uproar. Hell, we even got the Lawyer Blogs involved!

Now, she comes to me…wanting to pick a fight.

Alexa ranks me as the 1,363,981st most popular site on the internet.
Blondie weighs in at 11, 300,468th.
Decision: The *Angriest* Pharmacist (Yes, I’m aware TAP is ~500k)

I now pose this question: What it a beautiful brown-headed female pharmacist wanted to jump into the pharmacy-blog-world? Would you insist that she just GTFO? I mean, The Brunette Pharmacist or The Red-Headed Whench Pharmacist is original and identifiably different from The Blonde Pharmacist. Hell, they are different colors! I merely added a suffix and a few astericks. Those would be much more original than my pseudonym - and they could spring on the scene without ever having read your website. Where do you draw the line? Can Yahoo bitch at Google for creating a new search engine? Same exact website - different name? But Yahoo was first!

Can Symbolics.com sue all of us for creating websites? We all essentially ripped the .com premise off of them and TBL.

The whole point is that there is no point. You write about FDA Alerts, news stories, and butterflies. DrugMonkey writes about politics and randomness. TAP just puts bitches in check. Whilst I write about anything and everything - especially if it pisses me off. I use swears and try to be funny. I’m more of the Jackie Martling of Pharmacy Blogs, whereas you are Dakota Fanning. Fucking deal with it.

Finally, TAP is correct. There are several domains that reroute here. AngriestPharmacist.com, TAestP.com, TheAngrierPharmacist.com, and the flagship, TheAngriestPharmacist.com — Some I bought as a rebuttal to the shit-show in September, some I bought right when I started. All of them are now here to stay. It costs 7 bucks for a year - I think you could spring for one as well!

ICANN this, Copy that…Forget it! It doesn’t matter.

If you enjoy reading my bitching about pharmacy as well as some other stuff and get a laugh out of it, visit, read, discuss, enjoy. If you don’t, meh…you’ll find your niche. Try stumbleupon or 4chan.

More sins? What’s next - cheap prescriptions?

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Management, Me being a dick, Money, Politics

In case you were unsure beforehand, you *are* going to hell. The Vatican just solidified that in stone by adding a few new sins.

• Environmental pollution
• Genetic manipulation
• Accumulating excessive wealth
• Inflicting poverty
• Drug trafficking and consumption
• Morally debatable experiments

Let’s talk about them for a second. Environmental pollution — new age sinning created just for those of us in the 21st century. Gideon’s Bibles anyone? What about making birth control “wrong” as the church has done? Doesn’t that contribute to overcrowding and pollution? Sure it does. I wonder if burning witches contributed any to the greenhouse effect? Heck, it could be the cause! Witches in the atmosphere could be what Al Gore is trying to expose here…

Genetic manipulation — this is a load of bullshit. I wonder if monoclonal antibodies fit in here? What about the cancer that God allowed someone to get? It’s a manipulation of a gene. Is someone that gets cancer a sinner - or is just the cancer going to hell? What about the delicious corn I had for dinner last night? It was manipulated to grow bigger, faster, and more delicious. Is the corn a sinner, or am I a sinner for eating it?

Accumulating excessive wealth — wow. “Don’t get money, but if you have it, go ahead and give 10% to the church and we’ll absolve you.” Holy shit - what if someone wins a lottery? What about a high stakes bingo game? — that the church held? Michael Jordan is a sinner for being loaded - just because we paid him to put a ball through a hoop…What about Bill and Melinda Gates — arguably the most generous donators of all time (Microsoft stuff withstanding). What about me? I make a healthy wage - some would call it excessive. It’s obviously more than I need because others have less and do fine. Of course, we knew I was going to hell. I wonder what the GDP of Vatican City is…

Inflicting poverty — I’m not even going to list the number of people this makes a sinner…including the church. Of course, they’ve helped billions…but how many fathers died in the Crusades (any of them) leaving wife and son in poverty and/or servitude? What about me - having to charge hundreds of dollars to a patient for lifesaving therapy? Or the drug company charging my wholesaler an arm an a leg for that drug? Or even the PBMs gobbling up all the profits from every direction and, in a way, making us all just a little bit poorer?

Drug trafficking and consumption — I looked this one up for clarification. It includes consuming any drug that has a mind altering affect. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? Not only is every person in America a sinner, I am the Harbringer of Death. Alcohol, caffeine, Xanax, opiates, Barbiturates — if it breaks the blood-brain-barriers, the Vatican says, “NO!” And trafficking? Again - talk about pointing a finger directly at me…SHIT! Next point - let’s make alcohol a sin, but continue to gobble it up during service, at the beer wagon during the school carnival, and any other time we see fit. It’s only a sin if you drink more than the Catholics do…if you drink less than they do, you are a pussy.

Morally debatable experiments — Whoa. Think about all the pertinent medical research that won’t get done now because some zealot sitting on an IRB will read too much into this, consider risks more than benefits, or just not even listen at all (as Christians are so good at doing). Now, I’m not defending research that consists of “let’s stop this heparin drip and see how long it takes a clot to develop in various patients” — I’m defending research that I don’t understand, know that’s going on, or may/may not involve some part of a zygote (don’t even type the fucking word fetus on my website - I’ll snap. Fetus = 8 weeks+ Which is why I could care less about dispensing Plan B…) Regardless — this is going harm medical advancement for the years to come. I wonder if this refers to private bedroom experimentation between the sexes? I mean, come on…we’ve all *ahem* Nevermind. Let’s just say that this may be targeting certain sexual preferences…not like the church would ever do that….would they?

Overall, I feel cheated that I have more ways to sin and find my way into Hell than those born in the 19th century. Why do those horse riding fools have a better chance than me of getting into heaven? Bogus. More importantly, can I get any ex post facto leniency here? Doubtful. I’ve got all kinds of purgatory headed my way — don’t I?

NOTE: Before commenting, read the URL of this website.
NOTE 2: If you post one fucking word about the prescence or absence of an almighty, I will be the one doing the smiting. I’m not looking for theological discussion on this site. I just merely wanted to bitch a little about these new rules some people have to play by that don’t make and damn sense, are somewhat hypocritical, and don’t apply to me cause I don’t give a rat’s ass.

Thundercats are go…

New Widget In Right Frame

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Traffic, Update

I think we’ll come to love this Text-only widget. It’s titled “Recent Search Terms Used To Find TheAngriestPharmacist.com”

When someone comes in, my SiteMeter account reads the referring website address. While it doesn’t present the terms to me explicitly, when reading the long URL provided you can figure out what the person typed in and what search engine they were using.

You can retry the searches if you want. With all the technology out there in terms of bots scouring the web for keywords and sites, every search engine should yield similar results. That way you can figure out while in the hell “all asians are stubborn” comes to my site. Coincidentally, I have a post by those exact words. I’m the first on the list if you type that into Google!

The first set is pretty bland, but I’ve received some wild ones in the past. I’ll keep this one updated at least every other day or so. Check it out when you visit.

Final housekeeping note: Under each post (if you click the title of the post, not when viewing from the main-page) there is an icon to email a post to yourself and/or your friends, an icon to open a printable version of a post, and finally a StumbleUpon link which may eventually turn into a button…if I figure out where to upload the damn image. In addition - click the stumble button if you like a post - it will bring more visitors to our little slice of pharmacy-blog-heaven. Anyway, some of the older posts may have duplicates - 2 of each icon - because I edited the source code of this “theme” to have those icons in every post. Cope…:-)