Also, this website was sent to me in an email. The reader asked me to share this with the world. I didn't delve too deep into it, but it certainly looks like a dynamic relationship. WOW!

http://hatetheroommate.blogspot.com/

There I stood in awe of the sugary heaven before me, when a young mother, pushing a cart, walked down the aisle in which I was. A young girl, about 5-years old, stood in her cart staring at me. As they approached, the girl raised her hand and pointed one finger directly at me. In her best womanly accusatory tone, she exclaimed her one-word title for me, "PENIS!"

Her mother immediately turned red and lowered the child's pointing finger with her hand. I, taken aback, wasn't sure how to take the comment. Assuming the young girl was merely sharing with the world what she knew, I blurted back, "Guilty!" I shrugged my shoulders and held my palms upright in that "you got me" manner.

As they walked by, she sped up. The little girl, not knowing she did anything wrong other than repeat her mother's teaching of the differences between boys and girls. Had I been a woman, I'm sure I would have heard her scream, "VAGINA!" I heard the mother whisper to her, "Young lady we do not say that in public." I disagree...had she not made that public proclamation, I would not have laughed my ass off for the rest of the day!

http://www.twitter.com/TAestP -- Official TWITTER of myself and the website. If you are not already following me, YOU SHOULD BE.  Thoughts and jokes are submitted almost hourly. Once I get home and get to drinking, updates become much more liberal. For instance, I submitted 9 updates tonight insulting all aspects of Toddlers and Tiaras...:-)

http://www.cafepress.com/TheAngriestPharmacist -- New kid on the block. In the past, I created funny, witty, and/or pithy t-shirts on another side. This allows me to do the same thing on a massive level. Instead of creating, for instance, a plain-old man's t-shirt, yellow organic T, or a ringer t-shirt, I can now take the same design and create every single type of shirt (male, female, long/shirt, ringer, etc) all at one time.

http://www.zazzle.com/TheAngriestPharm -- The old merchandise store. While the store was successful, I'm simply not happy with the functionality of the site. It won't even open in firefox (all I get is the full source code) and in IE, the administrative portion of the site doesn't function properly.  I'm slowly but surely moving the designs to CafePress, but not all designs are going to make the trek. I'll, of course, keep the zazzle store running, but it won't be maintained.

http://www.facebook.com/TAestP -- Profile of TAestP (Angri Est Pharmacist -- for some reason it won't allow a first name of THE or ANGRIEST), texted updates/musings daily. This is a good way to share funny shit with me.

http://www.facebook.com/TheAngriestPharmacist -- Official Page of this website. Updated when there's a new post. Often updated with stupid shirts I make to amuse myself.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/TAestP/ -- My SU profile if you want to see how I amuse myself every evening...

http://bit.ly/gp2wTh -- My Bit.Ly URL. Use this as a shortened version of my website.

http://digg.com/angriestpharm -- My DIGG Profile. If you don't digg this site, I will haunt your dreams!

A few days ago was Halloween. Another right of passage for the American childhood. The under thirteen crowd walk around with Mom and Dad to all the neighbor's houses for goodies and sweet to rot away their teeth. The over thirteen to eighteen crowd is, of course, too cool and too old to trick or treat, but they want to enjoy the atmosphere. They want to be out and about on Ghoul's Night. They do what we all did -- toilet paper and/or egg friend's houses.

This time, however, one of these little bastards went too far. I was on my way home from work. It was about 4pm on Monday 11/1/2010 (A binary day!). Cold but still a bit a daylight left. I was making my way through my little town's Memorial Park -- all towns have them these days. A quaint little square for public use. There may be a little bit of playground equipment. Trees. A sidewalk path next to a dirty pond, perhaps. But, the hallmark of the Memorial Park is the source of it's name -- the memorial. This is usually in the form of a retired fighter jet, a huge tank, or in my town's case, both. I live in a small town -- actually, I live miles outside of it. It's like Mayberry. The population is about 5-600. There's not a lot of business -- just a gas station where the old men hang out and drink coffee from 4am until they hit the fields, a hair stylist place, a daycare, and a mechanic. The closest big town (population of 13-14,000) is 15 minutes away. That's the nearest grocery store / Wal-Mart.

So, you get the picture. It's a town full of pride. Everybody knows everybody. Everyone would give their neighbor the shirt off their back. I'm new to the town as we moved here about 5-6 months ago. I'm probably still known as the "snotty pharmacist" as I haven't gone out and made a huge effort to inculcate and meet lots of people. They have a Mason temple -- maybe I'll join that and meet some friends.

Anyway, as I drove through the Memorial Park that day, I saw that the entire park had been "rolled," if you will. It was hanging from all the trees. There must have been a hundred rolls used. The town only has one cop and the sidewalks roll up after 9pm, so if these punkass kids did this after midnight, there's a good chance that no one knew/saw except them and God himself. Now, what burned my ass up was the face that they covered the park's tank in toilet paper. Secondary to that -- why was this not cleaned up by the townspeople sooner as it's now 4pm. I screeched to a stop and parked next to the tank -- I snapped a picture with my cell phone planning on sending it to the newspaper with some commentary. Parents should be ashamed if their children were responsible for this. Perhaps a rant on patriotism. And definitely a photo of the tank cleared of all disrespect (while adjacent trees still bear the evidence) -- showing that I still have a shred of passion for this country and respect for the icons that made it what it is.

As I climbed on top of the tank, I wondered how could kids do this? I only have a dog, but she knows better. I guess the fact that these kids have the privilege to walk down the street at midnight on October 31st was lost upon them as they desicrated one of our relics.

Honestly, I think I blame everyone else more than the children. I blame their parents for not showing them proper respect for our country -- probably by talking on their cell phone during the national anthem or taking their own freedoms for granted. I think I blame our school system by not instilling that fire in them. Sure, they may say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, but did we teach them what the words mean? You can read Shakespeare all day but if you don't learn what the words mean, it's useless.

So, parents out there. Instead of raising little bastards like the people in this town. Please teach your children to be respectful off all that we enjoy.

I dug in to do some work and found that this festering virus had scrambled and garbled a signficant portion of my older posts. It wasn't anything that was unfixable. It would just require man hours proofing and editing as opposed to the semi-automated way I was going to cure this silliness by exporting my posts as a (as far as I know) uninfectable source file, and reinstall wordpress and plugins from scratch.

The download was done. The new database was created. While comments were going to be lost, I was confident I could get it rebuilt quickly. Locally (meaning, in the website's Parent Folder on my computer), I was all ready to go. All the was left was to delete the garbled mess and re-insert my original words if I could remember those final words. I began reading, analyzing, considering, and re-considering the words I had written...some as much as three years prior as a much younger, immature, unmarried, and overall unrefined young man.

My path to correct a technical error led me on an intrinsic exploration of how I felt then compared to how I feel now -- and how my beliefs and perceptions of the world around me had changed in the previous year based on the events of my life (the triumphant, the tragic, and even the traumatic). Those of you that read more than five of my posts know that I am opinionated, unapologetic, brash, and often crossed the line in how I treated those that disagreed with me -- especially if that person expressed their dissent in an unprofessional manner (a standard that I did *not* hold myself to -- which was hilariously frustrating when I posted a slanted viewpoint to get a rise out of a specific population of people).

I'm a few years older, a few years wiser, so what? I agree. One way to show true naivety would be to speak of deep personal growth in three short years. I'm certainly not saying that by any stretch of the imagination. Have my stars changed so much in that time that, perhaps, my thoughts, opinions, or views have shifted dramatically? Not really. What opened my eyes was the stark contrast in my voice from February 2007 to February 2010. While I had the occasional bright spot where I showed a glimpse of maturity, like the very popular post "The Worker's Plea," it was negated when followed by a post where I disassembled a commenter's opinions for disagreeing with me and handled it by posting his picture, real name, email, home address, and home phone number. It was funny to me then. Hell, it's funny to me now, but these days, I at least have the common decency to realize it's wrong and gains nothing for the site.

So, what's the point here? Well, I have a few goals here. As you can probably tell, this is not wordpress. I am using this now as a vessel to teach myself ASP.NET -- I have plans to implement several functions on this site to flex those dotNet muscles. I also aim to use it to catch up the world on what all their favorite pharmacist accomplished in the last three months. To sum up: A move, a new house, a huge mortgage, a new job, another new job, an additional state license, and much, much more.

As far as the archives go, consider the majority of it as lost (even though it's not). Much like the Worker's Plea above, I have the backup of the posts. While not convenient to access and pull from, I do plan on pulling out my best, most popular pieces of writing and sharing those....as I expand in my programming skills.

I don't have a public email address as of yet. After being pestered by 30 people on AIM in the past two hours, I've recreated "webmaster[@at@]theangriestpharmacist.com" for emails. I'm not sure I want to add that level of access again as it often became so bogged down that I was weeks behind in replies. No telling on response time to emails. Therefore, if you would like, try and catch me on AOL Instant Messanger. TheAngriestPharm seems like a good place to start. No promises on availability. Just loose promises for fresh, relevant content on this site which is sure to be down a lot, buggy as hell, and have the potential to kick my tail for trying to expand beyond html.

First and foremost, at blockbuster movies you are going to have to get there early to get good seats. I arrived about 45 minutes before showtime to I could sit in the back, upper section...in the middle of course. If you get there late, I don't feel sorry for you having to sit your ass in the front section. Along the same lines, since I arrived 45 minutes early, if I see your ass running to the door as the start letting people in, I am going to kick you so hard your prostate will shatter.

Now, moving right along, let's talk about the seating in general. There's about 220 seats in the giant digital screen theaters these days. The Dark Knight and other big movies will fill every fucking seat. Meaning, when you go in don't leave a fucking seat in between you and the next schmuck. It's a pain in the ass, and it does nothing but cause problems. Seriously -- I am sick of Americans and their insatiable need for personal space and property. Are you really that scared that your arm might touch another human being's elbow? Fucking crap people...Just sit next to someone, that way when people come in after you they don't have to stand at the end of the row saying, "is that seat taken??" over and over again.

I saw 2 couples to my right leave a space in between them...in The Dark Knight...where every seat will be filled. Finally, some smartass, not unlike myself if in the same situation, came in and said whilst pointing, "You and you, move down so the rest of us can sit..." -- The quickly moved down -- hopefully they realized they were idiots -- and since they are idiots I claimed the armrest as my own...

Finally, don't even bring your fucking cell phone. You don't need to talk. You don't need to text. You don't need another opportunity for me to hate you and think that you are a fucking asshole -- I already do. If I built/owned a theater, you can bet your ass I'd line the ceiling and walls in copper mesh to keep all radio/cellular signals OUT of my place of business. That'd be the only way to keep the modern-day hippster off of his phone for 2 hours.

It never fails, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of some prick pulling out his iPhone...checking his email or some other stupid bullshit that could've waited. Just don't even fucking bring it. Seriously...

"IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE FUCKING ROAD, YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD. STOP RUNNING FUCKING STOP SIGNS YOU STUPID BITCH"

She rattled off some inane babble about "did you see that red car right in front of me? were you watching that red car???"

I think she was implying that since she was tailing a red car very closely, that the red car's stop counted as her own. Readers, I can assure you that while, in theory, this sounds correct -- she is in fact a stupid, dumb bitch and needed a good kick in the cunt...which I would had delivered had I not be on a very important mission to get home and drink beer.

Attention bicyclists! I can accept your hippie ways. I can become accustomed to your unwashed hair and your vegan lifestyle for the betterment of 'mother earth' -- but, when you're on my fucking roadways, you obey the laws of the road you hippie scum. I don't give a fuck how much you are reducing your carbon imprint...or mine!

If I had hit that fat, pear-shaped slut, my ass would have been in trouble...not hers. The cops wouldn't have said..."Ohh she ran the stop sign...have a nice day!" They would have said, "You hit a pedestrian? I'll see you in hell, motherfucker!" Then I would have been locked up.

Stay on the sidewalk, off my roads, and off my fucking last nerve.

Next time I'm going to door-check that sperm-burping whore....

All kidding aside, it was 9pm. It was an odd assortment of customers. We sat across from a black man and woman. It was her birthday. Our waiter was amazing. He was polite, quick, and always around when he needed to be. Anyway, it was the lady's birthday - she was rewarded with a free daiquiri for her achievements.

As our wonderful waiter was serving us our salads and asking us if we needed anything else, our neighbor across the aisle decided that he needed my waiter's attention more than I did. I guess he didn't notice the fact that I had a male waiter, while his server was most definitely a female. Nonetheless, he let out a resounding, "Excuse me!" while a salad was being placed before me. In pure Angriest-Pharmacist fashion, the waiter ignored the man like he was a fart in the wind. After we were tended to, the waiter's response was perfect. He acknowledged the man (barely), told him to wait just a second as he returned the "serving table" to the back, and walked away. He never returned -- however their waitress came by a few moments later. I found this absolutely hilarious.

Finally, they brought out our main course. I proceeded to chow down on my feast before me. As most may know, there is some splatter involved with food that lives in water. You break a hard shell to get to the sweet, succulent, heroin-like substance within. I'm also a very, very, very messy eater. I got a little on me...and my date. She was not as amused as I was.

Our neighbors thought my entire meal was quite funny. They giggled and laughed. Hell, I think they pointed. It was pretty fucking irritating. I'm not sure why someone would spend more time watching someone else eat than staring at their own food and their own wife's tits. I hope they enjoyed my dinner - I did.

Moral: Keep your eyes on your own fucking plate.
Tip on $50 check? $15 for service. $5 for ignoring rude ass people.

-=+=-

I hope everyone got the chance to embrace the little joke orchestrated by myself and The Angry Pharmacist -- I must say that it played out wonderfully. For the day, my site appeared to have succumbed to a hostile takeover by the DrugLord himself. At the same time, he posted a victory call along with an email alerting all major chains to my doings.

Here's the screens of his site:

And here are the screens of my site -- and the DEAD giveaway:

I hope everyone enjoyed the little joke...and doesn't feel too alienated...

PS - I'd also like to apologize to The Blonde Pharmacist. I created a little tension with her to help raise awareness of the "issues." She's much cooler than Dakota Fanning...:-)

I just read this. I'm sure most of you all know about it by now - it seems like something that would hit massive airtime on the major networks. If you are religious, close your browser right now. If you think your feelings might be hurt by someone questioning your beliefs, close your browser right now. Last warning.

It's painfully obvious that The Angriest Pharmacist is not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination. When I was a child, we attended a Methodist church. While in high school, we went to a Baptist (hellfire and brimstone) Church. My mother still goes there. I stopped the day I turned 18 -- it was kind of an unspoken agreement between myself and my mother. I wish she'd stop going and come to her senses about the bullshit this guy spews. I wasn't ever Baptized, but I consider myself to be affluent in the beliefs of the church and all opposing viewpoints. Let's just say this, on my census form, I put Jedi.

These two parents, especially the mother, need to be jailed. At the very least, her three other children need to be put under protective custody. Why? She cost this little girl her life because she trusted her imaginary friend more than she trusted a doctor she could see, converse with, and touch. If this lady would have told the press she didn't take her child to the doctor because Satan told her not to, we'd have her ass institutionalized. But, since it was attributed to God, and God is associated with light and goodness, it's okay because her intentions were in the right place. What's the difference?

Some of the worst fuckups in the history of mankind were based on good intentions and blind faith. If you need them pointed out, you're a fucking fool.

I will admit that people have been dying of Diabetic Ketoacidosis for thousands of years. If this little girl would have been born in 1897 rather than 1997, she would have died in her home all the same. The family would have prayed, and she would have died...The issue here surrounds the fact that it's 2008. Medical science has increased the life expectancy of a white female to nearly 80 years (which is far more than 11). But, the thing that solidifies that this bitch needs jailed is that several family members had been trying to get her to take the child to the hospital for days -- and she prayed. Other's common sense had taken hold over 'faith' -- yet, mommy's did not. Daddy's did not. That's because they are retarded.

A mother's common sense -- maternal instinct -- has to exist...right? Nay -- a HUMAN BEING'S COMMON SENSE must exist...right? A child is suffering from nausea, vomiting, excessive thirst, loss of appetite, and weakness for over a month and you do nothing but talk quietly to yourself and hope the child's pancreas secretes more insulin? Did you get an answer? No. No one talked back to you. You sure as shit got a response.

I've heard people say that losing a child is the worst thing that can emotionally happen to a human being. In this case, I hope that's true.

We did learn one truth -- God does not replace Beta-Cells upon special request...maybe she needed a PA?

-----

Some might say to me, you are a faithless piece of shit, I'd kick your ass right now if I could find you. Actually, I'd bet most Christians would -- Christians, at least from my neck of the woods are very violent. They'd attack/beat up an atheist just like they would a pedophile...They would beat a person with the very book that preaches (in part) about tolerance, hope, love and charity. Christians have been fighting and killing in the name of God for, well, about 2 thousand years now...I wouldn't expect much change anytime soon. [Especially now that we have some new 'sins' to fight about!]

Anyway, I would challenge the above statement about myself. I am not without faith, hope, or love [tolerance of others? I'm working on it]. I hold that I have an abundance of all three. I have faith in my abilities, my Brothers, my significant other, the goodness of a stranger -- just to name a few. I have unwaivering hope. I always hope for better--for others, myself, those in need/want. I have hope that the future is better than today. I hope that our children learn from our mistakes, and I have faith that we can raise them to meet that challenge. Love - one cannot work in the trenches without love. Love for the patient seeking counsel or the cancer patient seeking relief and comfort. Love for the person sleeping next to them each night. Yes, I have love...and it is the greatest of these.

You may call The Angriest Pharmacist an atheist, but I base my life and the way I live off of Christian teachings, morals, parables, and principles. I may be more Christian than some of the Christians reading this post...

I just question the existence of one more god than they do...