Movie annoyance, speech impediments, and pacifiers
I'm back! I've been a little under the weather, very busy, and overall lazy lately. I've gotten somewhat addicted to a new flash game called ONSLAUGHT. Anyway, the first thing I wanted to bitch about was something that really pissed me off at a movie I went to recently. We've all been irritated by a crying baby (for fucks sake), a cell phone ringing (or a fucking asshole that answers a call, "I can't talk, I'm in a movie!"), or some punk ass 14 year olds that won't shut the hell up or keep their grubby ass hands off of their neighbor's new trainer bra.
I found a new thing that irritated me today...a blinking light. Some hotshot sat in front of me - and he wanted all of us to know he had a bluetooth headset. He left it on -- I guess in case someone gave him a call during the movie -- and a little blue light blinked every 5 fucking seconds the entire movie. I handled the problem as maturely as I know how, I began by throwing popcorn at him repeatedly...every time in blinked. That didn't seem to work and he chalked it up to some Emo faggots sitting behind me. I think upgraded my arsenal to Jujyfruits. By the time he realized it was me, I'd wasted too much Jujyfruit goodness to warrant a continued assault. Finally, I brought out the cannons. I began kicking his chair. Sure, I could've asked him to turn it off, but then I can't be a complete dick. So, after I kicked his chair about 5 times he turned around and asked me in a real pissed off tone (rightfully so), "What's the problem here?" -- "Ohh, sorry. I keep seeing a blinking light from the corner of my eye and it keeps startling me. It's a knee jerk reaction."
My response got the action I wanted. It also made the emo faggots chuckle in emo faggot delight. Good for them. Maybe they won't cut themselves tonight.
-=+=-
I've never called an insurance company and spoke with a "customer care representative" with a legitimate speech impediment before. Sure, I've talked with Indians, Brits, Ebonics-speakers, and flat out idiots, but I've never called and gotten someone that was 100% unintelligible. I politely asked for her to repeat hersself 5 times before I got pissed off. I didn't realize it was a speech impediment at first - I thought the person just had a real shit-ass attitude and was giving me her "hoe-hum-I-don't-want-to-be-here-so-fuck-you-and-the-world" voice. I couldn't understand a damn thing.
"What's your NPI and name" sounded like "Where are pirates drinking cum?"
"What's the RX number and fill date" sounded like "Do you like gays that eat cake?"
"How can I help you today" sounded like "Man, you need a fucking lay."
Now you can see why I handled the problem professionally by merely hanging up and calling back. I got someone different the next call, thankfully.
Get a clue insurance companies - speech impediments and jobs that require 100% conversation and communication should not be left to the cleft of mouth.
Or perhaps everything is going directly to plan for them. I hung up - maybe I won't call back next time and just force the patient to pay cash. Sometimes I wonder if that's why the cards they give out lack any applicable information used in billing.
-=+=-
Finally, pacifiers - foofoos - binkies - dummy - comforter - whatthefuckever. Fine for babies. Once a child is mobile (i.e. it can crawl or walk or move under its own power) those things need to hit the bricks. That's my rule.
Of course, the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry says you don't have to worry about removing them from the child's pie-hole until the permanent teeth begin coming in. The Brits, however, say to avoid using them altogether and discouraging thumbsucking at all costs because it eventually causes problems with how the teeth grow and develop. They ultimately cause the child to need oral braces.
Today, I saw a child sucking on one of these fucking things that was much too old to have their face covered with a pacifier. The kid was about 6. Maybe no permanent teeth...but definitely old enough to know that these things were for babies. Too big to be placed in the seat of a shopping card.
Absolutely ridiculous. Sure, you can't control your kid. Sure, you can't keep your kid appeased or keep its mouth closed (and therefore quiet and not screaming). So, you take the easy way out and stick a RUBBER TIT in its mouth. Wow.
My kids will grow up wondering what the fuck those things are for - that's a promise.
Happy filling...
Stop. Think. Shut the fuck up.
I stopped at a gas station this evening. An attendant came rushing out to me, "WAIT!" he said. I asked him if the gas station was being robbed. It wasn't. "We're out of Regular. We only have Plus and Premium."
"Okay, how much more is plus?"
"A dime."
"Okay. Thanks!" [And I proceeded to fill up my measily 13-gallon tank.]
Before he could walk away, another car pulled up on the opposite side of the pump. He told the owner of the '05 or '06 Ford Explorer the same thing.
"What? You've GOT to be kidding me! I'm not paying that much more for fucking gas! That's ridiculous. Can you give me Plus for the Regular gas price?" The poor kid's response was great -- "Of course not, but you're welcome to wait an hour or so until the tanker is here if it's that important to you..."
I went inside to get some gum and commend the 18-year old college student on the best burn I'd heard in a week. I then asked him if he'd really thought about the difference.
"Well, my old man owns this station, and he's told me it's a scam -- that there's really no difference in how the car runs. It just makes the emissions cleaner." [I know nothing of cars, EPA, etc. So, Dad could be telling the truth or full of shit.]
"Let's crunch the numbers. The nearest gas station is 5 miles right? [He nodded in acknowledgement.] That's 10 miles round trip since it's reasonable to think they are going to the interstate right next to us. That Explorer probably gets less than 15 miles to the gallon.
"If it gets that. Those things are gas hogs."
"So 10 miles at 15 miles per gallon is 2/3 of a gallon. That Plus-gasoline costs $3.00 per gallon. So, it costs that person 2 bucks to get there and back to the interstate. If they had just filled up and paid 10 cents more per gallon, to fill up their 20-or-so gallon tank, it would have cost them 2 damn dollars."
"HAHA. That's great. I've never thought of it before."
"So, they are no better off than I am paying 10 cents more per gallon here...except I'm about to go hit the interstate while they're still driving to the other station."
"Well, the joke is really on them. We use the same supplier as the station up the road. They are out too...So, rather than listen to me and driving off in anger -- they're gonna get there and have to get Plus either way..."
"Kid. I fucking love you. Have you ever thought about pharmacy school? Do you want a job?"I offered the kid a job where he could learn something, but he's just home for the Winter Break. He's studying Journalism at the state University. I hope he does well. He sure as shit made my night...
Do NOT take kids to the movies, prick…
I got back from the movies a little bit ago. I saw National Treasure: Book of Secrets. It was okay...very predictable, but okay. I realize it is a Disney movie, but don't take your fucking kids to the movie. Now, I realize some people may have kids that are capable of sitting for two hours quietly -- most of you, do not. If your kid is incapable of shutting the fuck up, don't take him...point blank.
Some waste of life decided to bring their kid tonight. That's fine. Kids have just as much right to see movies as I do, but would a child really understand National Treasure (even if it is a Disney film)? Fuck no. Also, the movie started at 10pm. I went to the late show for a reason -- to avoid you and your stupid ass fucking children. Take them to the 5 o'clock showing of Ratatouille - not to the late show of a movie targeting older children, teens, and adults. If they can't keep quiet, remove them from the theatre. Don't continually tell them to shut up and watch the movie. You lost your money -- Nay, you wasted your ticket money on yourself and your retarded child.
-=+=-
The next thing I want to bitch about is people's overwhelming urge to have their property either in their hand or directly in front of them. It's like they think that someone is constantly behind them staring at their pocketbook thinking, "If she steps to the side, I'm swipin' that motherfucker and she'll never see it again." Give me a break. We're in a pharmacy. I have 10 cameras pointed at me, and 4 cameras pointed at you. I also have 10 others throughout my building. No one is going to try a snatch and run.
Here's my layout:
==Counter=========== [Register1]=|Door| =[Register2]========
People step to the far left as if that's where we perform all our transactions. Then when we have them step in front of Register 1 to slide their credit card or sign our little log book, the have to pick up their purse, pocketbook, and the items they wish to purchase and move them to the 3 inches of space we have between Register 1 and the door. Do you think I don't notice all the stupid crap you are wanting to buy? Do you think I'm just gonna scan your Rx and say, "Sorry, too late. You didn't present your other items soon enough, I can't ring them out. You'll have to take them to the store's front register."
I just don't fucking get it. On top of all else, the bags are on the left side of register 1 and the right side of register 2. They are plainly visible. When you move them to the narrow sliver between the door and register, I just have to move them back. Me saying leave them there does nothing. They still move them. Maybe people are afraid someone else is gonna sneak up behind them, pay for them, then run out of the store with the crappy shit. Do you really have to pick up your purse as well? No one is going to snatch your purse with me standing their facing the opposite direction. Usually, snatching a purse and running is a difficult crime to prosecute, but one someone be as retarded to perform such a dumbass crime with a pharmacist standing their watching them? Especially a large, athletic-built pharmacist? I'm not a little old lady. I look like I played high school football - I don't look like a small chess player.
Get over yourself. Maybe people are worried about identity theft. That too is bullshit. If someone wants to steal your identity, rack up charges, and have some fun with you - they will do it, have their fun, and be done and gone a month before you ever know. It's a cyber crime -- not a result of a snatch and run job. Those crackheads (who are not usually located in a respected place of business) are in it for the potential 20 bucks you have in your wallet -- they don't want your credit cards. Using them is futile as they can all be cancelled in minutes and an arrest will follow. Paper trails would also exist as well as video of their use. Criminals are stupid for doing the crime, but they are usually smart enough to not get caught every time.
Leave your license on the counter after I set it down. It's not going to run away. I'm not going to let you forget it. Calm the fuck down. Sign the book. Pay your bill. Get the fuck out. Stop acting like your 'personal property' is gold...your shit is actually copper, dude.
Movie review and a stupid bitch
I went and saw the movie Juno recently. I absolutely loved it. The one liners, cutdowns, and internal commentary of Ellen Page as the title character, Juno, is flawless. She created the character and played her as if it were second nature. I recommend that everyone go and check this movie out as soon as possible. I must say, though, that Michael Cera as Bleeker was likely the most awkward and uncomfortable character I've ever seen. His character in Superbad was equally awkward. Granted, that's what the director wanted for these characters, but while he was on screen, the awkwardness he portrayed made me fidget in my seat.
-=+=-
On the pharmacy front, I recently had an uncomfortable and irrational encounter. This tank of a woman came in and requested a transfer of her Paxil CR from a nearby Walgreens to my pharmacy. I thought nothing of it, and we got it filled up with no problems. However, the insurance card she presented and we put in was not accepted by my pharmacy. When the lady came in to pick it up, she was told 100 bucks or whatever that mess of a SSRI costs. She, of course, was livid.
I told her that we didn't accept the plan. She told me I was a misinformed liar (which is rather contradictory, right?). "I talked to my employer and they gave me a list and your pharmacy was listed as a provider."
"Do you have a copy of that with you? It could have been a typo. We've never accepted this plan. Walgreens paid a lot of money to be the only pharmacy that accepts this plan in this area. And, as far as I've been told, that's how it still is -- and has been for the last five years."
"I don't have a copy of the letter with me. But, I know you're on it, and you're going to take it." [Condescendingly]
"Well ma'am, now you are misinformed. These computer communicate in real time with the computers ran by you insurance provider. They say we don't take it, and therefore, won't pay for it. The only way you can leave here with this medicine today is by paying cash. If they are in the process of adding us, and that takes place in the next week to ten days, we can reimburse you." [Of course, I said this like a huge dick]
"This is ridiculous. You're an idiot. I want to talk with the store manager." [yelled -- of course]
"I'm sorry to say, but the store manager has no control over the pharmacy. He can't help you. However, I want to help you, but the fact of the matter is, I can't help you." [I said this really nicely, because I know that I can't help her regardless of how badly I wanted to]
"Fine, I'll just call your corporate headquarters. I'm sure they'll be interested in knowing that you are refusing to fill my prescription."
"I'm not refusing you service. I've got your prescription filled....here it is right here. What I'm telling you is that we are not contract with your insurance. We cannot just give this $100 prescription away. I'm sure if you called my coorporate headquarters and told them the entire story, and not just the part about you leaving here without a prescription, they'd apologize for not being contracted -- but they'd go on to tell you that we have no control over that here. Walgreens has cornered the market, and there's nothing you , I, my boss, or my bosses' boss can do about it."
"You need to find a new job -- you're not very good at this one." [This is the second time some fuckhead has told me this in a week because they didn't get their way when a situation came up that was completely out my control -- fuck this fat bitch!]
"You're wrong. I'm good at this. You're just not good at listening or understanding that certain things are out of the realm of control of workers. Do you yell and make a scene towards the cashier at McDonalds when the McRib is taken off the menu? I mean, he could call up the CEO and say he wants it back on the menu...but, that's kind of futile isn't it? Anyway - what do you want me to do here to help you, keeping in mind that there is no humanly possible way for me to bill this to your insurance provider?"
"Just transfer it back to Walgreens - I know I'm never coming back here again!"
"Sounds good to me! Happy New Year."
As she left, I acted like I was calling Walgreens immediately. Right when she got around the corner, I hung up. She can wait for an hour or two at the WAG. That's her punishment for being an irrational bitch from hell. [PS - I'm aware that this was unethical, unecessary, and crossed even my line...but I'm a dick...I get mad AND I get even...]
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