Daily frustrations

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Drive-Thru, GUEST CONTRIBUTOR, Lazy People, Patient Education, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

The following post was written by a reader of TheAngriestPharmacist. She posted a couple of comments that were right on point and impressed me tremendously. So, I invited her to write a guest post. She is taking some pharmacy-related classes and currently works in a pharmacy. Her pseudonym is ALIGIRL CphT. While I’m not into the whole “waz up guuurl!” fad, I enjoy her perspective and rants.

-=+=-

After working 4 years in a pharmacy one would think you get used to all the crazy and impatient people we see everyday. I, unfortunately, get slapped in the face with these people everyday, and everyday I see something new. My little rant and rave today has to do with the drive-thru. First of all, whoever invented it for the pharmacy was either a lazy person that didn’t want to walk the twenty steps to the pharmacy inside the building or a person that claims they have five kids and did not want to take them out of the car today.

So, when you drive into the first lane (nearest the window where I am standing) in a drive thru and see that there is already a car in the second lane (furthest from the window), does that not tell you that I am already helping them and you must wait your turn? Or, does it simply tell you they are there, and I am here so somebody better help me too? Perhaps an additional, magic fairy person?

Obviously, you see me standing there at the big 10×10 window already talking to the person in the second lane. You saw them send money or a prescription which means they are still being assisted. So, please explain to me why you feel the goddamn need to still push the ringer. Did you think that I did not see your big Expedition drive directly in front of me blocking my view of the second lane? — the person I am already helping! Do you really think I do not see your face staring at me like I am wasting your time because I am helping someone who was there before you?

Now, I have to turn off the ringer and tell you I will be right with you, which I do very calmly. I continue speaking to the second lane and notice you reach out your hand to push the ringer AGAIN! Okay, are you freaking kidding me — or are you just severely retarded? I just told you I would be right with you. So, now I just turn the damn ringer off and don’t say anything to you because, obviously, you do not understand English.

As I am finally finishing up with the second lane, after all your interruptions, you start beeping your horn. Really? WHAT THE FUCK!! Now I am freaking pissed. The freaking President of the United States could drive into the drive thru, and he would still have to wait his turn — so hold the fuck up. I thank the second lane, send them on their way, and ask you how I can help you. This is when you have the balls to say, “Didn’t you see me here?” Yes, I saw you there. I told you I would be right with you. Then you pushed the ringer again, and I ignored it. Next you decided to start honking your damn horn.

I can only help one person at a time and you, my friend, were after them. Now, you start complaining that in a drive-thru you shouldn’t have to wait at all, and that you should just be able to drive up, grab your shit, and go. Um, excuse me, but last time I checked we had to get all your information as well as enter insurance info and type in the prescription. If you are picking up a prescription, we have to confirm that we have the right patient as well as take your payment. And this also may take a few minutes. It may take a little longer if the patient has any questions or concerns about their medications or if they need to be educated on something.

So, no, a drive-thru is not to just drive up and go, it is a convenience for people like you that do not wish to get off their lazy asses and walk inside. This, my friend (wait, you’re not my friend — I hate you!), is a pharmacy, not Mcdonalds. We take time in what we do, and we try to do things right. We are not making burgers and fries. We are filling medications, checking for potentially dangerous drug interactions,billing insurances, and about a million other things.

If we take an extra few minutes with a customer that actually cares about their health, then yes you must wait an extra few minutes — wouldn’t you expect the same courtesy of the person behind you? That’s how the drive-thru works, ya don’t like it then you can go down the street to the pharmacy that has no drive-thru and walk your fat ass inside.

So, when you approach a drive-thru pharmacy, please wait to be attended to…especially if there is already someone else in the lane next to you being helped. Don’t push the buzzer a hundred times — or even once. And don’t you dare toot your little horn. We do see you there, and we did hear you the first time you unnecessarily rang the buzzer. Just freaking wait a few minutes. You are sitting in a car, directly in front of me, not standing in the cold!

What is important

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Just a question, Patient Education, Salutations

Who are you?

It’s a very pertinent question. It can be answered in a plethora of different ways. The way each person answers the question tells us a lot about them. It tells us where the priorities lie, what they think about themselves, their career, what they’ve done with their life, and perhaps even where they are going.

One could answer this question several ways:
I’m a pharmacist. — Tells us about a person’s career or career path.
I’m a man/woman. — Tells us of their gender role (obviously). They also think their manliness/femininity personifies them.
I’m a husband/wife. — Tells us the most important thing in their life is their relationship with their S.O.
I’m a (insert religion). — Tells us that their relationship with a higher power is important to them.
I’m a son/daughter. — Tells us they value family. They probably have a good relationship with their parents.
I’m a father/mother. — Tells us they have children and they are one of the most important things in their life.
I’m a brother/sister. — Again, tells us they value family and probably have a close relationship with their siblings.
I’m a Brother/Sister. — This one could tell us they were involved in a Fraternity and valued it and the relationships they forged from it.
I’m a [pharmacy] student. — Tells us where they want to go with their life. Their aspirations.

You see, we can learn a lot about someone with just a few words — with some assumptions and clever associations. But, what’s the most important thing about someone? That’s very easy. Do you know it?

THEIR NAME! A person’s name epitomizes who they are. If you know someone’s name, you may not know everything about them the statements above can tell us, but you have a way to get that information — an ‘in’ so-to-speak. Not knowing someone’s name — or forgetting it — can be a very embarrassing situation. I do all I can to remember the name of every person that comes into my pharmacy. I think every Pharmacist and Technician should. Not only does it help us ensure the right person gets the medicine, it lets the person know that you care WHO they are and not just WHAT they are buying or HOW much they are spending.

Do whatever you need to do to remember everyone’s name. Write it down. Say it ten times in your head while looking right at them. Take a mental picture. Do whatever works! Simply by announcing someone’s name as they enter the pharmacy pretty much guarantees you a customer/patient for life. (”Hey James [or Mr. Smith]! What’re you up to today?” — or — “Hey John! How is that new Blood Pressure medicine working?” [with respect to patient privacy, of course])  It also ensures that you will probably get the benefit of the doubt should you ever make a mistake or screw the person over by accident. That personal relationship will help make sure that cool heads prevail, and it also will assure that angry patients see you as a human, with a name, that can make mistakes. But, as a human, you are allowed to be remorseful of those mistakes and apologize….all from knowing something as simple as someone’s name.

So, readers, I ask you this, WHO ARE YOU?

Jabberheads

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Cellphone, Engrish, Patient Education, Rude, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

Check out the pharmacy blog aggregators — All your pharmacy blog goodness compiled and listed on one page for you: http://dumbmedicine.com/?p=144


At about 2:30pm today, a lady brought a prescription to the counter. I approached her, said hello, and immediately glared at the cellphone, which is now synonymous with American Culture, smashed against her ear. When cellphone talkers approach my counter, they get no sympathy from me. I’m not courteous of their conversation because they are on MY time. Anyway, I asked this lady her birthday, as she turned away and started to scamper off and chatter some more, and she had the nerve to turn, roll her eyes at me, and say, “12-15-67″ in a tone of voice that would lead me to believe that I was bothering her…can you imagine that…me…bothering her…

I have a sign at my pickup window that says, “For your safety and other patient’s privacy, please finish all cell phone calls before approaching the counter.” Some people completely ignore it. Some of my techs have the guts to call people on it, others don’t — some don’t give a shit either way. Most guests will close their phone as they read the sign.

This woman continued her conversation the entire time I filled her Metronidazole 500mg po TID #24. That usually doesn’t bother me in any way. Had the woman came in with another person and they had a conversation outside the pharmacy I wouldn’t give a shit — what’s the difference? However, it does irritate me that I can only hear one side of the conversation — the human brain wants to know both sides. If it only hears one, it gets confused and either tries to fabricate the other half of the conversation OR the person gets angry…like most people when someone is loudly talking on a cell phone in a public place.

As I finished the prescription, I walked to the register to ring the woman out. She continued the conversation. I glanced back at the sign — making it pretty obvious that she should hang up. She continued the conversation.

“Do you have any questions?”
“Hol’ on jus’ a minute…” (Into the cellphone)
“Do the directions be on the bottle?”
“Yes, ma’am — it’s three times a day. There’s also a handout in there for you to read if you want to learn some more about the medicine. There is one other thing we need to talk about…”
“Nuh uh…no she din’t…are you fo’ reaaaal? Ohh my wooooorrrrrrrrrrrddd……” (Obviously into the cellphone)
“What? Huh? You say sumdin to me?”
“Yes, ma’am. There’s something important I need to tell you about your medicine.”
“Aww…okay”
“Girl lemme hit you back in a minute. Bye…” (Into the cellphone)
“This medicine has a pretty severe interaction with alcohol. Even just a small amount of alcohol could make you very sick. I cannot emphasize enough that you should avoid alcohol for the entire time you are taking this medication and even a few days after you are finished with the last dose.”
“S.O.S. please some one help me. It’s not healthy for me to feel this way. Y-O-U are making this hard, I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right,” blared from the woman’s phone (a song by current hip-hop artist Rihanna).
“Hello…girl, I’m talkin’ to dis pharmacisss. Lem me call you back afta while…Bye.”
“Okay, what?”
“Don’t drink any alcohol while your taking this medicine.”
“Ohh. I don’t drank…”
“Okay. Good. Do you have any other questions? [No] Okay then. Thank you. Come see us again…”

Does this story infuriate you all as much as it did me? I mean, what if I had to tell her something REALLY important. She may have not caught any of it…But, she was 100% aware of something scandalous the caller was talking about…

I didn’t have my jammer with me today, otherwise her phone service would have magically started to fail as I was talking to her. I took it home as I was off for two days. I don’t want to leave it at work in case there’s a raid or something…:-)

Now, before I get any hateful comments about it — this lady spoke exactly like I wrote her words…in ebonics. I’m not trying to be racist, ethnicist, or any other time of -cist you all can dream up. I hate it when people butcher the English language — regardless of who they are. I try and speak perfect English. While I type in a very odd manor — as if I’m keeping everything as one continuous thought (using dashes and ellipses) — I speak very well. Hearing the language butchered irritates me…

Walgreens Bashing FOOL - UPDATED!

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Doctors, Education, Errors, Patient Education, Stupid People

I recently got this crackpot email from a certifiably insane man by the name of Leroy Jacobs (leroyjacobs@mail.com). It was long, full of colorful text, and lots of space. What was it about? It was about how Walgreens Co. is directly responsible for the deaths of many citizens — it listed their names, the lawsuit number (where the person’s family sued — NOT criminal charges, mind you). It even listed exact numbers on how many people Walgreens killed during the last 4 years with the ominous words, “ARE YOU NEXT?” printed under it. Since it is so long, I have saved the document as a PDF. You can open the document here. You can visit the website LEROY claims to own HERE

Before I give my view on this, let me say this: I do NOT work for Walgreens. I worked for Walgreens for one (1) semester in college, and I quit because I did not have enough time to work at the time. If anything, I hate Walgreens. I believe that this adds more weight to my beliefs in that Leroy Jacobs is a crazy asshole with a vendetta.

This guy has sent me stuff like this before. In the past, I just deleted it as it is asinine. This time, I called him out on it. Here’s my initial reply:

Leroy,
I’m not sure what your vendetta is against Walgreens, but I do not agree
with the way you are going about this at all. Every pharmacist in America has
had a misfill happened to them. Some of us have been responsible for this misfill
making someone sick — some have even killed a person as a direct result of
the misfill. It is always regrettable — whether someone is injured or not.

However, you CANNOT blame this on Walgreens entirely. Pharmacists
are ultimately responsible for what goes out the door, not the corporate
entity. Walgreens may be responsible for having understaffed stores and
making workflow too fast for some pharmacists — but the pharmacist is
charged with working at the speed they feel comfortable…even if that means
a 2 hour wait. It is not the fault of the corporation, and I’m sorry that you do
not completely understand that.

I also think that you are making a huge deal out of a small number of
bad instances. While one misfill is too many (especially one that kills a
person or animal), we fill more than 3-4 BILLION prescriptions each year
in the USA. I want you to impartially look at these posts then reanalyze what
you are trying to accomplish with these smear campaigns.

http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/2008/02/26/the-real-numbers/
http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/2008/02/26/my-letter-to-the-usa-today-journalists/

I can’t believe defending a business that I absolutely loathe (and quit working
for after one semester in pharmacy school), but I do not agree with your tactics.

So, I feel like I made some valid points in my email. I mean, this guy is blaming Walgreens, the Corporation, for the misfills a pharmacist is responsible for letting out the door.

Note: I am not trying to invalidate the death of the people listed below. I am not trying to say that their life is worth any less than anyone else’s life. I am merely trying to show that it is the responsibility of the pharmacist to ensure that people achieve the best results from their medicines, and that it is the pharmacist that is responsible for the medicine that leaves the pharmacy — ensuring that it is the right med, right person, right dose, right strength, et al. I’m merely trying to show that it is NOT the fault of the pharmacy owners or corporate entity.

Let’s take a look at the merit of these cases:
1. Leonard Kulisek died Nov 2002 of MENTAL ANGUISH AND DISFIGUREMENT.
- I was not aware that someone could die of mental anguish and/or disfigurement. His FAMILY was awarded 31 MILLION dollars. A Google search says that the man was given Diabetes Medication instead of Gout Medication and died of renal failure — after already being on the brink of death it seems. While the names of the medications are unknown, Allopurinol could exacerbate hepatic and/or renal failure (monitoring and dosage reductions are needed for both). Colchicine is metabolized by the liver and eliminated 10-20% unchanged by the kidneys. It’s not unreasonable to think that EITHER of these medications could cause problems in an ill person — especially Colchicine due to the incidence of blood dysgrasias — which shouldn’t have been given to him anyway.

2. Patricia Rees died May 2006 after “SKIN FELL OFF.”
- I was not aware that one’s skin could just fall off. Mine is pretty well attached. No information could be found on this case via Google search. Maybe her name is misspelled; maybe this is entirely made up. Who knows? I bet LEROY JACOBS DOES!

3. Beth Hippely died Jan 2007 of BREAST CANCER.
- I’m not sure how Walgreens is responsible for someone dying of Breast Cancer. Women (and men) have been dying of cancer in the breast forever. Google search turned up that she was given a Coumadin dose 10-times more than was intended. ABC News pins this on a 19-year old pharmacy technician. Well, that’s fucking bullshit. It is not the job or purpose of the pharmacy technician to prevent errors getting out the door. It is the pharmacist’s job to verify that the right drug, right dose, right everything get to the right person. While the techs play a role in this system, the burden is not on their shoulders. How DARE anyone lay this on the shoulders of a mere college freshman. Anyway, the high dose cause her to have a massive stroke (I think hemorrhage would be a more appropriate word, but that’s semantics). This incident cause her doctor’s to discontinue her chemotherapy causing her breast cancer to ultimately kill her. Well, that’s a hell of a line of thought to blame Walgreens, now isn’t it. Why don’t we blame Anheuiser Busch In-Bev for the deaths of thousands? Someone gets drunk, drives, and hits a bicyclist who dies. It’s the same train of thought this jury had. Sad? Yes. Fault of pharmacist? Yes. Fault of Walgreens? No.

4. Alexandra Gerhke suffered PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE at 7 months old.
- Pharmacist dispensed Glipizide tablets instead of Phenobarbital tablets. First off, these two drugs are nowhere near each other when stored in the pharmacy. Secondly, how in the fuck did they give tablets to a baby? Obviously, the pharmacist compounded this — Making this misfill even more eggregous. Nonetheless, it was the fault of the PHARMACIST — not the fault of Walgreens Co.

5. Eric Warren died Dec 2002 from “POISONOUS DRUGS INTERACTION TRAMADOL & METHADONE”
- For such heinous accusations, the guy has poor grammar and no concept of medicine. Firstly, why was the man given methadone — what is it usually given for? Opiate Addition? Ding! Ding! Ding! So, you’re telling me this guy was addicted to Tramadol, given Methadone to get off the tramadol, then died from the combination? I get it. Do you see the problem? He’s a fucking addict — he could have died from either one alone. Should he have been educated about the combination? Yes. However, I contend that if you take one of each, or even two of each, you will not die. Especially if you have an opiate tolerance built up as would someone on Methadone. This guy took a handful of each and died of the subsequent respiratory depression. He should have had some ownership of his own medical therapy. This death cannot be entirely the fault of the non-educating pharmacist…and it sure as shit isn’t the fault of Walgreens Corporation.

6. Chanda Givens (baby) died April 2007 after mother was given “potent chemotherapy drug instead of Materna, a prenatal vitamin“.
- She was given Matulane (Procarbazine) instead. There’s no reason for this. For fuck’s sake, I’d never even heard of Matulane, but I sure as shit can tell the difference between the two. This makes me wonder, however, if perhaps the doctor’s handwriting fucking sucked.

7. Terry Paul Smith died July 2001 of METHADONE POISONING.
- This is another case where I believe patient’s must play a role in their healthcare. USA Today says that Smith took 22 pills over a day and a half’s time (after trying and failing various other painkillers like NEURONTIN and oxycontin — yes, USA Today called Neurontin a painkiller). Why? Because the directions said “Take 4 tablets by mouth twice daily as needed” instead of “Take 4 tablets by mouth twice daily.” — The OBRA-90 requirements were met as testified by the patient. So, the words AS NEEDED (which are always on pain medicine prescriptions) are the reason for the overdose — whereas they are usually the reason people DO NOT OD. I don’t fucking get it. We put as needed, people OD because it means they can take it whenever the fuck they want. We don’t put as needed, people OD because it means they can take it whenever the fuck they want. You can’t have both sides of the road sue-happy Americans. You’re not cyclists.

8. Devon J Alvarez (toddler) died October 2001.
- The cause of death was dextromethorphan intoxication. This one proves that this fucking prick, Leroy Jacobs, is merely out to get Walgreens. This child’s parents took him to the doctor. The doctor told them to get some OTC Infant Cough and Cold Product. Mommy followed the directions the doctor gave her — and gave the child the suggested amount. Devon’s body could simply not metabolize dextromethorphan for whatever reason. He died because of a physiological insufficiency — not because ANYTHING Walgreens pharmacists, technicians, cashiers, maintenance men, shelf stockers, or managers did. Fuck, for all we know, they didn’t even buy the medicine at WAG! This is pure libel — and this dickhead is peddling it around the internet as fact.

Now, as you see, I have debunked several of these little Walgreens-Induced-Deaths. I have proven that Leroy Jacobs is a dumbass. I have proven that he has a vendetta — I assume because they refused to fill is Vicodin and Soma early. What does he have to say about all this?

~lj

and subsequently:

So, I replied with the names of those I’ve conversed with on the blogosphere and would consider respectable pharmacist/colleagues. I merely assumed that they would side with me — I also made fun of his name via a World of Warcraft Video from a few years ago:

The Angry Pharmacist, Pharmacy God, Jim Plagakis, Paul
Trusten (The Ole Apothecary), Pharmacy Chick, and everyone
else out there in the pharmacy blogosphere.

You see, we pharmacists have common sense. We don’t approve
of today’s sue-happy mentality of today’s society — which is exactly
what you are promoting.

Every other pharmacist in the free world would see right through
what you are attempting to do.

LEEEEROOOOYYYY JEEEEENKIIIINNSSSS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkCNJRfSZBU

He didn’t quite enjoy my reply I assume — based on his curt reply:

~lj

Well, Leroy, they’ve seen it now. I’m sure they’ll enjoy reading this note. I’m positive that all my fellow pharmacy bloggers and the readers of this site will chime in with some biting comments towards what you’re doing — analyzing your motives along with my valid, cited explanations. Perhaps next time, you’ll review what your sending out, include a few sources, or think about trying this one: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

People like Leroy Jacobs and those he inspires are the reason healthcare costs are so high in America. He’s pretty much instructing people to sue — “LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY THESE PEOPLE MADE OFF WALGREENS! YOU CAN GET A PIECE OF THE PIE — AND MOVE TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY!”

What I don’t get is, why Walgreens? Every chain has misfills. I’d bet every chain has killed someone because of a misfill. I wonder what Walgreens did to LJ — shit in his cornflakes? More importantly, I wonder where LJ plans on getting his child’s prescriptions filled.

UPDATE

I’ve discovered the vendetta. See this link: http://www.pharmacychoice.com/News/article.cfm?Article_ID=48931 — It would seem that ‘Leroy Jacobs’ could be an alias for Bruce Johnson, 44, who sued WALGREENS for racial discrimination in February 2007. In the suit, 4 men claimed that a WALGREENS photo lab clerk shouted a racial slur at them, slammed a door (OOOHHH THAT BIGOT!), and denied them service after they complained about the quality of their photos in 2003.

The jury deliberated for less than an hour before ruling for WAG after suffering through 7 days of this baseless testimony.  Their lawyer was quoted as saying they would accept $1 as justice served but deserved millions. Wow - millions for being called a racial slur. I just heard Chris Rock say it on television 250 times in a one-hour special…and these guys wanted millions? Fucking sue-happy society — just as they are trying achieve with their libel against WAG. They didn’t win their case, so they want to make damn sure WAG has the worst image possible — so someone else sues and wins the battle that they tried to fight and lost (cause their case had no merit).

Johnson, a gospel singer, said pursuit of justice in the case became his calling and he launched a Web site, stopalldiscrimination.com, to help others facing a similar plight.

“Every time somebody has a bad experience, you can’t sue. Every time somebody does something you don’t like, you can’t sue and try to turn it into money,” Clark Vellis, atty for WAG said in his closing argument.

Leroy has replied to my email — after he crawled out of his hole of course:

~lj

So, angry from lack of sleep, pissed from his non-existant rebuttal, I tore into Leroy with a vengeance.

I don’t care about this case — you lost. What difference does it make? Your allegations were bogus, and the jury saw through your shit.

You need to reevaluate what your goal is with all this. You also need to look at your methods and whom they may hurt.

You are presenting this as if Walgreens is the only enemy on your radar. If you are going to talk about misfills spread it around. Everyone does it. I don’t care that you make a big deal out of it. I wish there was a public education campaign, but, there’s not. Maybe you can serve as that outlet - but you need to shift gears
a bit. You have a chubby to make WAG look bad, and that’s bullshit. It’s the PHARMACIST’S fault for these misfills. You think I’m sticking up for my colleagues? No way — throw them under the truck when they make an atrocious mistake due to their ineptitude.

I’m glad you finally said your against WAG, but the point is, you are blaming WAG for something that is NOT THEIR FUCKING FAULT.

Motherfucker’s like you sue the  company, the man, some other coworker just because, the mcdonalds down the street, and the grocery store the plantiff frequents. You are the lowest common denominator. You can’t even respond eloquently to my posts or thoughts. You have replied with single sentences — yet to explain yourself except with the PDF of your putrid case.

Don’t fucking email me ever again. I don’t even want to hear from you.
You’re dead to me, Leroy Jacobs. DEAD!

5 Warning Signs of PITA Patients

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Blogs I like, GUEST CONTRIBUTOR, Lazy People, Patient Education, Stupid People, Update, Work Sucks

If you ask most pharmacists what the hardest part of their job is, the answers you get from person to person will vary slightly, but more than likely one of their top five answers would be pain in the ass patients. More troubling than the toughest of insurance forms, PITA (Pain In The Ass) patients can cause your day to go from decent to downright terrible in the blink of an eye. So how do you spot them coming? Read the following list of warning signs and prepare for the worst.

“I just need to ask you a quick question.”

When a conversation starts like this, you know it’s not going to be quick, and it’s not going to be one question. Chances are this particular person will waste at least five to ten minutes of your time, all the while second-guessing any answer you give to them. In cases such as this, I recommend you have a magic eight ball ready for their shaking pleasure. It will probably do just as much good, and will more than likely prevent you from shaking them.

“I don’t mean to trouble you, but…”

Really? Then don’t. What people mean when they say this is beyond me, but nine times out of ten, they know they are troubling because they either have ridiculous questions, no one else they can talk to, or they flat out refuse to actually visit a doctor. As pharmacists, we have a wealth of knowledge at our disposal, but that is not a replacement for the diagnosis of a qualified health care professional. Try your best to answer their question quickly and never give more than you absolutely need to.

The patient approaches with a full shopping cart.

This generally happens if you work in a pharmacy within a larger store. People assume that because you have a cash register, you are willing to ring up their ding dongs and soda along with the one item they got from the pharmacy. Can you ring it up? Sure, if you really want to, but maybe slipping in some appetite suppressants wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

The patient wants to “show you something.”

Be extra careful with this one, especially if he or she begins to drop trow in the midst of a crowded line. No, I don’t want to look at the rash on your ass. Describe it to me; maybe I can help you get the proper powder or lotion, but I am far from ready to start staring at pimply hairy asses—nobody gets paid enough to do that (except maybe proctologists).

The patient has no idea what’s really wrong.

This probably is not the case, but their use of the English language is limited to the excessive use of the words “like” and “kinda,” which isn’t really even a word, but that’s beside the point. “Well, like, it’s kinda like I have this weird feeling in my stomach, you know, like not pain, but just weird. You know?” No, I don’t know. I have no clue as to what you’re talking about and you’re wasting my time. Give them something innocuous and recommend that they go waste their doctor’s time. Then, it’s on to the next patient. No, I don’t know where the air filters are, sir.

This post was contributed by Kelly, who writes on the subject of pharmacy school at USPharmD.com. She invites your feedback via comments or at kellykilpatrick24 at gmail dot com.

If you would like to be a GUEST CONTRIBUTOR to TheAngriestPharmacist.com, contact the webmaster via the CONTACT ME link at the top of every page.