The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

And to believe I kept my cool…I shoulda went apeshit!

Posted on July 24, 2007

I'm very proud to post the following story. It shows that I have grown up, so-to-speak. I actually kept my cool today. Make no mistake, I was completely pissed off. I was so angry I couldn't see straight, but I kept my emotions in check...

This middle aged lady brings in a box of Alavert-D to return it. She bought it yesterday, but meant to buy (read: waste her money) just plain ole Alavert. She had the receipt...but it didn't matter. The box was opened. Hell, there may have been a tablet or two gone.

"I'd like to return this. The manager told me that if you had a problem to call him..."
[I think it's cute the manager is trying to flex his nuts here. At the same time, I hate him for pawning this off on me...]

"Well ma'am. It's not really a matter of me calling the manager in this situation. I simply cannot return this product for a plethora of reasons. It's been opened. It's a controlled-substance now, and the main reason I can't accept it back is because it's against the law. Once a medcine leaves the pharmacy, I can't take it back."
[Here's where it gets funny. I usually allow the person to say something here - mostly to see what their thoughts are. If they even just say 'well I really wanna return it' I tell them that I'll do them one better...I'll give them store credit for the cost of the product AND let them keep it. Hell, I can't resell it. I can't do anything with it. It's a bitch to return - so I leave it with them.]

This bitch didn't even give me the CHANCE to give her the cake AND let her eat it. She got so huffed up she grabbed her little plastic back, snatched her receipt, and literally marched the fuck out of my pharmacy. And it wasn't a slow march - this bitch was moving. She was almost RUNNING.

I was taken aback. I kept my cool. I didn't call her a bitch, idiot, or any of the other words running through my mind. Ohh, I wanted too.

I just left her with one word, "BYE!"

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The following things happened today

Posted on June 14, 2007

A list-like look into my day:

- I wanted a Pibb this morning. The damn machine was out. I couldn't get change. So, I got a Coke. I hate Coke...not sweet enough for me.
- I had a computer go down for some unknown reason last night. My repair guys came in. One guy was working on it. One girl was on the phone with someone and telling the first guy how to work on it. The last guy was standing there staring at me - he must have been the boss. All three were in my fucking way.
- I completely lost it on a lady today. I mean, over the top. She was dishing it out first - and as you all know, I ain't gonna take it with a smile. It took me 30 minutes to fill her two prescriptions instead of the 15 my BRAND NEW tech told her. [Begin sublisted story]

- At minute 15 she was waiting at my register. I told her it was going to be a bit longer. One had [gasp] rejected because the BRAND NEW tech put in 3 days supply instead of 6 [CRIMINAL!]. Ohh, I forgot that before hers was dropped off, 8 more scripts belonging to 5 different people came in within 12 minutes [I checked] and wanted to wait for it. [We're still working on "gauging time" with the new tech]
- At minute 17 she was tapping her credit card on the counter. [I have an old rant on this one. You can read it here].
- At minute 20 she asked how much longer. I told her I was working on it as fast as I could, and I had a few in front of her. Her reply? "I don't see them standing in front of this counter...I should have gone to Walgreens" - The second part was under her breath, but it caused me to *begin* to snap. "Excuse me? I'd be glad to give you those prescriptions right back. You'd be more than welcome to take them to Walgreens and wait just as long for them there as you've waited here. And, just because those people aren't standing *directly* in front of our *only* cash register doesn't make their business any less important. It also does not remove them from the order we fill them in. These people have told me they are waiting in this store...Therefore, they are filled as such."
- She did not like my response much, but she shut the fuck up for a brief moment.
- At minute 24 she asks how much longer? I say that "The two of us are working on it as hard as we can. Our third person is not here yet. We had a slight problem with one of yours which is taken care of now and several others were dropped off in front of yours as I said earlier. Also, we have some guests in the pharmacy fixing one of our main computers. It's coming..." "It does not take this long for a Zpak! And I don't see how that's my problem!" [She forgot to mention the Darvocet and mention how she knows how long it takes to fill a prescription in the first place] "Well, it has filtered down to you now hasn't it? [pause] All I'm asking for is a little patience. Contrary to popular belief, it *does* take a little more to fill a prescription than merely slapping a label on it."
- Phone rings. I answer. Some Osco wants 4 refills, 1 of them is controlled. [Meaning I have to do it personally]. Luckily, they had my bottles so I fired through the formalities. This only costs me a few minutes in checking them.
- Minute 27. She's looking at me very hatefully - she watched me answer the phone. She heard me talking the whole time. I have her two prescriptions in front of me. I'm checking them still. She says, "I cannot believe this. I am never coming here again. This is outrageous." "No, ma'am. The only thing that is outrageous is your behavior. You have been disruptive and unbelievably rude from the very beginning. I've explained every problem to you, and you can plainly see what is going on in this entire pharmacy. Have you seen me doing anything besides work? I've taken no breaks. I've not made any personal calls. I've been doing nothing filling prescriptions as fast and accurate as possible." "Well, you're not very good at it..." What? WRONG! I'm very good at it. I'm freakin' excellent. We're just *BIZ-ZEE* --- Here's your prescriptions...Next time, you can take them to Walgreens."

You know what the real bitch of it is? The Darvocet script wasn't even signed. By the time I actually noticed before she was revved up in high bitch-gear, I was in no position to want to suffer the consequences of saying, "Well, I have to call your doctor because he doesn't think he needs to signs his scripts." - She would have raised such a fuss I might have punched her. I didn't even give a damn...

- My lunch sucked because the Beef Jerky I brought from home was a "little" too old and got moldy. I had no idea Beef Jerky could grow mold. More importantly, I had no idea the stuff had to be refrigerated after three days. After finding the mold I found the small disclaimer on the bag.
- I called TEN pharmacies looking for 120-2mg Dilauded for a patient I will never see again.
- I sold the wrong prescription to a patient because I was flustered from all of the above. The patient realized a few minutes later, and it was an easy fix. But, it was a pain in the ass, nonetheless.
- My tech and I got into an argument because she wanted to do something illegal this weekend. I told her it was a bad idea. She tried to convince me it was okay because she wouldn't get caught. She was right in that aspect, but she wouldn't admit that it was even borderline wrong.
- A lady asked to see my license to verify my qualifications to fill her PenVK script. I pointed to my nametag and then the wall.
- It was hot today.

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My encounter with a douchebag DEA Agent

Posted on June 11, 2007

It was a busier day. It was me and my tech slaving away at the counter. Up walks "Agent Smith" from the DEA/BNDD. I don't mind these guys coming in - hell, I love hearing their stories and finding out who they're trying to track down. I do what I can to help. I even keep their business cards and call them if I find anything new out. I sometimes make a few calls when I think something shady is going on. Not anymore, at least not to this guy, he doesn't deserve my help.

He strolled in at 9:30am. I'm still plugging away on the queue and trying to make Doctor calls at the same time. He wanted information on we'll say, "Barbara Streisand." She visited me about 6 months ago. He told me he thinks the script was fraudulent. He wants it. "Well, lemme check. Yup! Just as I thought. It's in my storage room boxed up. It's in the back of the store under lock-and-key. I'd hafta get it for you."

"Okay. I've got a meeting at 10:30am across town. How quick can we get it?"
[Haha! Sorry, dick.]
"Well it's just me and my technician today. I can't go get it and leave a pharmacy open with no pharmacist, and I can't send my tech because I just can't operate the pharmacy with one person."
"I need it for my case against her. When can I get it?"
[I am no longer amused at this point.]
"I close at 9pm tonite. I can go get it then rather than go home. I can fax it to you or snail mail it tomorrow afternoon."
"That will do!"
[Of course it will do! You have no other options. I'm not *your* employee.]

We go about our business, and he is perusing our computer system (I had him sign one of my blanket HIPAA release forms for law enforcement when he came in and make notations of any profile(s) he viewed - I ain't no geek off the streets). He then asked if he could make some local calls. I've got four lines - sure thing, Agent Smith. He asks me for the number to a few nearby drugstores, and I hastily oblige.

Phone rings. My tech answers. He then barks at my tech away from the receiver he's holding in his right hand, "I'm on this line!" My tech immediately hangs up, and he remarks, "You disconnected my call!" I could tell my tech felt about 4 inches tall. I felt the entire situation a bit odd. How did he get disconnected? That's not how our phones work. You can't disconnect a call on one phone from another phone. That'd be stupid. [See where this is going yet?]

Phone rings. My tech is still shaken. So, I answer. I hear him in my left ear from his mouth and my right ear from the receiver, "I'm ON THIS LINE!" What could I do? I immediately hung up. He then snarls at *me*! "You people keep disconnecting my calls!" Then it both clicked and snapped. The click was my realization of what was going on. The snap was my demeanor and professionalism.

"That's because YOU are calling OUR pharmacy! You've called - we answer. We hear your voice and hang up on you because you freak out!"
[He didn't get it - I could tell from the furrow in his brow - he didn't believe his shear idiocy.]
"What's the number to this pharmacy?"
[I flung my business card at him like I was throwing playing cards in a hat]
"Whoops..."

That's right. All we got was a damn, "Whoops” no apology. No,"my bad, dogg." Fucking. WHOOPS. I was angry that he snapped at my tech. I was pissed he yelled at me. How did he not realize this when my voice system answered with "THANK YOU FOR CALLING _________ on ___________ road in ____________, ___________." He was attempting to call Walgreens - that is definitely NOT what my computer answers with!

He quickly made his phone calls (he got the number right from then on) and made his way out the door. He left his card, but I *misplaced* it.

I'll get that script to him in a few weeks!

Faxes

Posted on June 3, 2007

Friday morning I got a fax from a customer. It was a copy of his receipt from last month’s pickup. He also wrote a note saying, “Please fill these now. I am leaving on vacation. I’ll be there at 10am.”

Wow, already off on the wrong foot. He wants me to fill 4 Rxs for him, and I just opened the door? Ugh. Well, I went ahead and did it for him. He got there about 10:15am, and I stepped up to ring him out. Here’s what followed. My comments are bold. My thoughts are in [brackets].

Yes, I have four to pick up for Jackson.

Okay. Here they are. It comes up to $25.59. Ahh, I remember yours now. Ya know, we traditionally don’t get faxes from patients requesting refills.

What’s wrong with that? I got the fax number from a business card.

Yeah. You’re right. I realize that the fax number is on my business card, but that was the first fax I’ve gotten from anyone other than a doctor’s office or other pharmacy in as long as I can remember. It’s usually used for only healthcare professionals. [Duh…right?]

Well, you shouldn’t have it on your business card! What’s wrong with me using it?[His tone was very condescending here]

Well, there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t completely guarantee that it will always work right. I can’t guarantee it will be checked. You may show up one time and your meds won’t be ready because we don’t always check for faxes, and sometimes they don’t come through completely legible…Finally, if it gets out we are accepting faxes from anybody, we could start getting fraudulent faxes from people.

Then why is it on your business card! You shouldn’t have it on there if you don’t want me to use it… [This begins my smartass-mode. He repeated himself, and he just flat out didn’t listen. You can’t argue my first AND second point with the same lame ass rebuttal.]

Well then, the next time I give you a business card I’ll scratch the fax number off of it before handing it over. [Rimshot please]

Ya know, this isn’t the only DAMN pharmacy in town… [This is what we all hear after we’ve won our argument. It’s really the only card the customers/patients can play. Little do they know we don’t give a damn]

You’re right. There’s a bunch… [At this point, I’m in “dick mode” and we’ve completed the transaction. He’s started to walk away…]

How do I go about transferring my prescriptions to another pharmacy? Away from you!

Just fax all your information to them instead of me…They’ll figure it out from there… [Rimshot please. I burned him real good!]

-=+=-

I know. Once again I’ve gone too far, but damn it was funny. I nearly lost it after he walked away. I really think it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever said to a customer. It was quick, poignant, and just an awesome Ashton-Kutcher-esque BURN!

However, if my DM ever gets wind of it, I’d prolly get written up or even fired.

I know it’s pretty hypocritical, but I would have dressed down a tech pretty good for doing the same thing I did after congratulating them on such a great burn…

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