The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

Movie etiquette

I recently went to the movies. I, of course, went and saw The Dark Knight. I enjoyed the movie, but as I embarked on my experience, I noticed from start to finish that people are either complete assholes or flaming imbeciles. With this post, I hope to help quell some of the emotions (anger) that I am feeling right now.

First and foremost, at blockbuster movies you are going to have to get there early to get good seats. I arrived about 45 minutes before showtime to I could sit in the back, upper section...in the middle of course. If you get there late, I don't feel sorry for you having to sit your ass in the front section. Along the same lines, since I arrived 45 minutes early, if I see your ass running to the door as the start letting people in, I am going to kick you so hard your prostate will shatter.

Now, moving right along, let's talk about the seating in general. There's about 220 seats in the giant digital screen theaters these days. The Dark Knight and other big movies will fill every fucking seat. Meaning, when you go in don't leave a fucking seat in between you and the next schmuck. It's a pain in the ass, and it does nothing but cause problems. Seriously -- I am sick of Americans and their insatiable need for personal space and property. Are you really that scared that your arm might touch another human being's elbow? Fucking crap people...Just sit next to someone, that way when people come in after you they don't have to stand at the end of the row saying, "is that seat taken??" over and over again.

I saw 2 couples to my right leave a space in between them...in The Dark Knight...where every seat will be filled. Finally, some smartass, not unlike myself if in the same situation, came in and said whilst pointing, "You and you, move down so the rest of us can sit..." -- The quickly moved down -- hopefully they realized they were idiots -- and since they are idiots I claimed the armrest as my own...

Finally, don't even bring your fucking cell phone. You don't need to talk. You don't need to text. You don't need another opportunity for me to hate you and think that you are a fucking asshole -- I already do. If I built/owned a theater, you can bet your ass I'd line the ceiling and walls in copper mesh to keep all radio/cellular signals OUT of my place of business. That'd be the only way to keep the modern-day hippster off of his phone for 2 hours.

It never fails, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of some prick pulling out his iPhone...checking his email or some other stupid bullshit that could've waited. Just don't even fucking bring it. Seriously...