Teething Problems…..

Posted by LilLaura as Work Sucks

As the Angriest one has absconded (without letting me know, cheers by the way!) for 10 days of drunken delusions and encounters; I have to admit that I am JEALOUS AS FUCK.  Not only that, but I am replying to insults laid at the comments-I just cannot figure out how to write like he does in bold on the eejits comments!!

Anyhow, back to reality.  My wisdom tooth is acting up again, which will probably mean another trip to my dentist with the massive hair (no joke, his hair is like a crown!!!).  Just as well I am in pain when I go otherwise I’d probably just laugh at his hair!  Seriously, he’s a great dentist and a nice fella. 

Teething problems not only relates to my tooth, but also to the fact that my second-in-command has departed, moved on for a better life….I miss her, but I wish her well.  So, yesterday I welcomed her replacement.  A nice girl, with a penchant for tidying up when she is bored….(personally I surf the net looking for odd symptoms and looking at clothes to buy on the ‘net).

This week, so far, has really been, well….for lack of a better word…odd.

My new controlled drug cabinet arrived today-unfortunately it was not as big as I had hoped and I will have to keep my other one as the list of methadone (opioid substitute used to wean addicts off heroin) patients keeps growing!  They are coming from near and far to get their kicks from me!  (Must have some reputation amongst the drs and patients now after only 4 months in the job!).  Just as well my “new apprentice” can handle them too, because the volume of patients (not to mention the paperwork) is getting bigger everyday.

In the UK we have prescription items called “special orders”.  What used to be “extemporaneous dispensing” i.e. where the pharmacist would have to make up liquids, creams etc from scratch is now illegal, and so we order these “specials” from branded wholesalers.  Now, these items are very expensive….

An elderly gentleman (regular), always gets his melatonin liquid from us.  ALWAYS.  It even has our pharmacy’s name on the script.  Today, it arrived from the wholesaler (all £190 worth, c $400 if you include tax), ready to be delivered…only the surgery phoned and told me to send the script to another pharmacy who had already dispensed it.  We ordered it in good faith that we would be the ONLY pharmacy dealing with him…I said no, and if they wanted the script they would have to find a means for paying us for a) all items on the script and b) the national dispensing fee.  Not to much to ask as we go out of our way to provide this service.

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings….Probably another headache as I languish in a dispensary that traps heat, has no air conditioning and little/no atmosphere…..I’m going stir crazy….

Courtesy of T.C:

 http://walmartwatch.com/blog/archives/wal_mart_says_its_4_generics_are_true_health_care_reform/

It’s very interesting! 

Adieu mes ami…..

Yeah, whatever…….

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Work Sucks

Pharmacy should come with a warning for future students. I think something along the lines of this would be good:

“WARNING: Pharmacy is NOT as lucrative as it appears. The ones who have the money are vindictive bastards, governments, or cold high-street or supermarket chains who will flog your acquired knowledge, skills and will test your patience. Pharmacy is not a career option-it is a lifestyle. If you embrace it, you are embracing a 24/7 job, with limited opportunities (unless your dad owns a pharmaceutical company) and shite pay. Your health will always be at risk from the infected, the mentally ill, the addicted and vindictive old women.*”

*Pharmacy will turn you from a person with ideals and values, into a person with IBS and dissatisfaction. Ulcers have been reported…….

I wish someone had told me about the health risks involved when I took on the notion of being a “respected” pharmacist (hahahahahaha) 10 years ago as I was making my career choices in school. I was….enamoured by the thought that I could be in control and still have a life-working 9-5, having holidays, getting paid well and all for giving advice and handing out drugs…..

10 years later. I’m 27 and already varicose veins are showing from years of standing, running and jumping to attention <Heil Mein Patient!!!>., Everywhere I look, GPs are immortal, nurses are queens (I don’t envy them, sometimes they get it just as bad as we do) and I am the patients’ (NOT customers!) worst enemy. But enough about my dissatisfaction with pharmacy in general-I have found a shining light, and hopefully this time next year I will be an expert in the field of diabetes-and a supplementary prescriber, prescribing set drugs within a budget for certain patients.

Anyway, to the title of my blog. A patient, in her 70s, is quite able to move around (this pisses me off as she gets deliveries of drugs free to her home EVERY week). So much so, that she was able to manoevure her way down to the pharmacy to have a go at me yesterday. (Brief history-she’s a right royal pain in the hole that my predecessor nannied, which I have no intention of doing-I prefer “tough love”).

So, she says “why isn’t the senna in a box?” . Me ” It only comes in tubs now Mrs S.”

Mrs S “Why?” Me “You’ll have to ask our wholesaler that Mrs S. I can’t dictate what they send in.”

Mrs S “Well, what about this then? I always get paracetamol (acetaminophen) capsules”

So, I went, dug out the prescription, and showed her that the GP had prescribed TABLETS, and that 1) I can only dispense what the GP tells me to, and 2) that her problem was with the practice, not with me. I think it’s one of the few times I have actually been pushed to the point of actually wanting to physically throw a patient out. She is the most horrible old doll in the universe-and as she left I said to my assistant “I wish she’d get flattened by a bus or drop dead”. Her attack on me led me to forget the more important stuff-luckily I sorted out scripts for my three patients on palliative care (i.e. death row), but forgot to get the methadone/physeptone ordered in for this week. I can do it tommorrow-it’ll just be tough dealing with grumpy addicts until after 4.30pm….<sigh>

I am anticipating something will happen to her-I’ll probably walk into work tommorrow and hear the news that she DID drop dead….but then I’m not that lucky……

It’s only my duty to help her to extend her life-though why should I when there are so many others who are in real need? She needs a dose of reality. I may have been baptised a Catholic, I don’t go to mass, and I may not believe in God….but I know right from wrong-and yet….I can do nothing..but dish up that cantankerous c**ts cocktail of drugs until the day she leaves.

At the end of the day, when MY life span is up and the reaper comes, I want to be able to look back and say “Yeah, I was good at my job. I had a life and made a difference in others too. I wasn’t a bad person, but I was tough because I had to be. And at least I made a difference in a good way-not sniping or being rude-for in the end I am only human.”

“yeah lil’ laura….whatever…..”

Rant over…..now.

More, More, More-How Would YOU Fuckin’ Like It?

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Work Sucks

For y’all who know about the government here, you know about the devolved governments in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. For those who don’t….here’s a summary. The English government started the process of devolution several years ago, and although they have final say, the devolved governments have general say so over their territories.
So, the Scottish government are taking the issue of physical and verbal abuse of people who work in the public sector seriously. So seriously they phoned for my input into a leaflet for the general public. So I get to have my say-basically that we pharmacists don’t just count pills, we are educated to nearly PHD level and that it is a very responsible job-ever since Dr Harold Shipman, the pharmaceutical societies in Engalnd and Northern Ireland have arseholes as tight as drums. Hence, we abide by the rules and keep an eye on not only the patients but doctors too. (If you don’t know about Shipman, Google him, and find out what happened to the pharmacist who dispensed medication to him that helped him kill. It’s fucking nasty people-and it’s affected pharmacy all over the world, with good reason).
My mantra-you come to me with a prescription, you are a patient, not a customer. AND YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT.
It is refreshing however, for the short time that this fad will last, that someone will take verbal abuse seriously; that laws will be passed so these motherfuckers cannot get away with bullying us, humiliating us when all we are doing is our fucking job.
The thought that this subject should have been acted on sooner crossed my mind as a regular came in today, demanding he get his weekly supply early. 1) He takes a controlled drug 2) It’s the weekend (suspicious) and 3) No doctor to contact on a Saturday. I refused, and he throws a tantrum…. Apparently he has to work on the day he usually collects (if thats the case, why is he saying he’s exempt from paying a prescription charge?). As tempted as I was to buzz for the cops because it was unwelcome and unwarranted behaviour, I couldn’t be arsed (too tired i.e. slightly hungover-yes we have lives!).
And then he strolled in on the Monday lunchtime like he hadn’t said a thing……Or maybe that was because I phoned his GP and warned him that if the patient EVER wanted his rx dispensed by me again, he had better improve his manners….
Working a 47 hour week is HELL-literally (heatwave and NO air-conditioning!). My second in command is taking the last of her leave before she leaves, I had interviews to do for her replacement. That was difficult-but a refreshing change! The Chief came over specially to help me find my new “apprentice”. Found someone who had enough experience under her belt to handle the dispensary, so I’m free to do other things, like work my way up to choosing my specialist subject (looks like endocrinology, primarily diabetes).
Not only that, the local doctors have been kissing ass again-and what is more creepy is the male GPs trying to flirt on the phone (maybe they’ve been Googling LIl Laura!). I flirt because I have to get what I want for the patient-a female perogative I suppose. A sweet Irish accent, making jokes and laughing-I brighten their day…in an innocent way, and get what I want :)
Fucking degrading, but it could be worse…. Could be a porn “star” with red hair trying to make a name for myself through nudity (ahem). TIP for Lil’ Laura (porn star)-Go BLONDE.
Gentlemen prefer blondes, especially smart ones with an Irish accent, who like to flirt ;) (experience is a valuable teacher…)
NOW, before I get loads of crap about me being a red-head-phobe, my mum is a natural red-head, and I have NOTHING against them.
Unless they besmurch the loveable name of Laura….

Discharge Scripts

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Doctors, Errors, Lazy People, Me being a dick, True Story, Work Sucks

Do they even look at these damn things?

I have a hospital near me that generates discharge scripts via computer. It’s all based on what meds the patient was on during the stay in-house. I know the process there because I called and spoke with their pharmacist on duty one night. We hate our jobs equally.

It goes like this. The Ward Clerk generates a list of all current meds on the MAR (Medication Administration Record). This sheet includes PRNs, parenterals, orals, rectals — the works. The doctor then goes down the list and circles YES or NO. This sheet is then sent to the pharmacist who removes the NO drugs from the profile (by D/C’ing them). Then, the pharmacist prints these sheets directly on the floor and they are reviewed by the patient’s nurse based on what was said and what s/he expected. There is a space for the doctor to sign. My pharmacy will fill these w/o the docs signature because we deal with the hospital so much and these sheets are not “fake able.” I will admit though, that only 1 out of every 50 are unsigned. So, for the most part, the doctor has the OPPORTUNITY to review these sheets again. A quantity is written in on the bottom as well — usually it’s ONE MONTH.

So I can say, without a doubt then, that at least THREE sets of eyes see (or should see) these damn things before being given to a patient — Pharmacist, [Ward Clerk perhaps?], Nurse, and Doctor.

Why in the fuck did I get a sheet today that listed:
1. Fentanyl PCA 10mcg/hr Basal with 10mcg on Demand Every 10 Minutes.
2. D5NS 100mL/hr
3. Naloxone
- This was obviously in a ’set’ with the Fentanyl to pull from a Pyxis if needed.
4. Heparin Lock Flush 100 Units prn
5. Ancef 1g one hour pre-op

How did this shit get by? It was fucking signed by the doctor. He even wrote in *his* DEA number to cover the fentanyl…the only Narc on the script.

There was more on the script of course - they always leave OTC/PRN stuff and we just use our professional judgment on how to get those things to the patients (Ibuprofen, Docusate, Baby ASA). Usually we just grab it off the shelf if they want it.
But seriously? Dextrose in Normal Saline? Would you like me to educate the patient on how to start a line on himself? Should I also work through with him on how to operate the PCA Pump he has in his bedroom - making sure he sets it for MICROgrams rather than MILLIgrams since it’s fentanyl? [End Sarcasm]

I’m expected to review my work before it leaves my pharmacy. Why is this healthcare team not expected to do the same? I could get in serious trouble for not checking my final product prepared by my technicians.

If you care about the outcome I reached - I just scratched the bullshit out. Later in the night when it slowed down, I called the pharmacist on duty there and let him know that that stuff snuck through. He attributed it to “a student screwing around on the computer.” I attributed it to his laziness or lackadaisical demeanor. He did not like my analysis — nor did he apologize for the actions of himself or his student. If his lame-ass excuse was valid/true — it’s still his fault for not staring over the student’s shoulder…which would be the law for the student entering orders in my state of residence.

Headhunters

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Disgusting, Drug Companies, Hate Mail, Me being a dick, Rude, True Story, Work Sucks

I got the message below from what I like to call a headhunter. What do they do all day? They call us, hardworking pharmacists in the trenches, at work. They bother us incessantly….non stop. Feigning interested in our day. Telling us about “exciting opportunities” in “various healthcare field” with “immediately openings available in our area of the country.”

That’s right. They call me at my job, who currently pays my bills, and asks me if I want to quit and work for any company that will take me. They will promise you the world. Can they deliver? They don’t know. They don’t care. They likely read off a script just like every other telemarketer in America.

I understand as well as anybody that it takes a ton of different people to make the world go around. For every job, there is a worker willing to take that job at that wage. It may not be what I would want to do, or what I could earn, but the job is there nonetheless.

But, how in the fuck do these people make their place in the world? I just don’t get it! I could not imagine a pharmacist, regardless of their level of disgruntlement, saying, “Yeah, I’ll quit this bitch for whatever job you can find me with XYZ company.” I’ve never heard of someone doing it. So, I’ve never heard of a success story. To make matters worse, they bother us at our already hectic jobs. This pisses us off and REALLY makes me want to jump ship!

What makes this specific commenter all the more asinine is that I had a run in with her a while back. The Pharmacy Alliance had an oft-used email listserv prior to their meeting in Texas. She chimed in with this same recruitment chum. I didn’t reply in a swear laden hate-speech. I didn’t even tell her to go fuck herself. I just replied with, “Whoa.”

Now, at work, I like to fuck with these people. The way I see it is that my time is money. I’m sure my time is worth more than there’s, but I’m a huge dick and I like to get a laugh at other people’s expense. I often ask them for all the details and not pay a lick of attention. Then I ask them again. After that I’ll ask them random questions they have no business knowing until they get the hint. “Ma’am, why can’t tigecycline be used for bactermia?” or “Why is Zyvox contraindicated in people on MAOIs?” or “What’s the max daily dose of Oxycodone in a properly titrated person” or my personal favorite, “Why can’t enteric coated aspirin be used to treat a headache?” If they still don’t get the hint, I ask them, “Why does Mickey Mouse have big ears?” — That’s usually the fuck off question that gets em.

Bonus points for answering the real questions in the comments.

A new submission (form: “Contact Form”)
============================================
Submitted on: June 4, 2008
Via: http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/contact/
By <edited out IP> (visitor IP).

Especially for the naive minority…..

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Work Sucks

One of my favorite patients (yes, I actually have a couple of favorite patients!!) came in yesterday.

Want to know why he’s one of my favorite patients? Because he NEVER argues with me. My diagnoses for him are ALWAYS spot on and he said he will never argue with me. (He never argues with me because I caught him cursing at me in Italian and when I told him I understood perfectly what he was saying in ITALIAN! he was very embarrassed. One of the advantages of being able to speak non-common languages like Japanese).

For the, well, basically naive minority of random surfers who are NOT pharmacists and who think that we bitch constantly about the customers, you have to remember the following:

1) Pharmacists deal with, on average, at least 20 patient confidential queries/8 hours. These are detailed and require knowledge off the top of your head or you’re fucked because the patient will not trust you.

2) Pharmacist is a 24 hour job. Ask my boyfriend. If I’m not at work, I’m studying my subjects of interest within pharmacy or drafting sketches of promos for work, or I talk about work-which annoys him (anyone that goes out with a pharmacist has the patience of a saint! hence why pharmacists don’t usually breed amongst themselves-unless one is in retail and the other in a hospital!)

3) Pharmacists, like many human beings, like to have a fucking good rant. It’s good for the soul. Tell me if I’m wrong, but the items we wrote enraged you, so you had a fucking good rant on your comment space-and you felt gooooood. (even though the angriest one is always right! and you were WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!)

4) If we bitched about all the bad customers, we’d never have time to have a laugh with our staff or the good ones-and some of them are extremely odd and funny!

Then, today, something extraordinary happened..

The florist up the road rang me, saying that there was a woman sitting across the road; and it looked like she had breathing difficulties. I ran over, got her out of the rain into the pharmacy. I started talking to her. She was from England, and was quite nervy-her face was twitching. So, I got one of the girls to sit with her whilst I got the cops. Then I came back and sat with her. She started talking, saying she was “possessed by him”….”a demon”..”Satan”….(by this stage the sensible me is going “you do realise that she could go off her nut at any point and try to kill or hurt you?”, but the adrenaline running through me kept my fight response on full alert). The poor soul had no sleep, had had no food or water; so I gave her the nourishment she obviously needed. The cops arrived-turned out she had escaped from a mental hospital days earlier in Southern England (as I suspected, schizophrenic). Apparently she used to be from the area I now work in, but was raped at 14 (the same time she said she was “possessed”). I told her that the cops were good friends of mine and that they’d look after her. As she left she turned and said “Thank you. You have a good heart.”

Now, if that woman, with all her problems can see that I was trying to help her; then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU NON-PHARMACIST SURFERS MOANING ABOUT? Be thankful that all your faculties are STILL together.

For at the end of the day, who can we say IS “mad”? The lady who has been diagnosed as such or the lady standing giving the pharmacist a hard time just because there is no-one else to blame?

I leave it for you to decide, but today, I knew which one should stay the rest of their life in a straight jacket….

It is as the saying goes…”Your eyes can deceive you..” (Ben Kenobi, Star Wars, A New Hope).

Don’t Shoot the Pharmacist!

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Work Sucks

Just got this forwarded to me in a comment. I figured I’d throw the guy a bone and drive a little traffic to his website and the trailer. The trailer is somewhat amusing - I’m sure the movie would be enjoyable for those of us in the trenches.

Maybe we can have a private viewing only on TheAngriestPharmacist.com after the Film Festivals?

Hi!

I love your site, and I have something that your people might be interested in. Please forward this along and hope to see you there!

Our movie, Don’t Shoot The Pharmacist!, directed by Pharmacist Dave Broitman, starring Ben Bailey (Cash Cab) and Godfrey (Phat Girlz, Soul Plane, 7-up Spokesman) is up for BEST COMEDY FEATURE FILM. You are invited to the screenings at the following locations listed below:

OR if you just want to vote for us follow the instructions way below, but better yet, please do both!

Monday JUNE 2 at 7pm
70 Adams Street Theater, Hoboken, NJ
Hoboken International Film Festival
tix, directions and info. at http://www.HobokenInternationalFilmFestival.com

Friday JUNE 6 at 2 pm
College of Staten Island, the Recital Hall Theater, Staten Island, NY
SINY Film Festival

Saturday JUNE 7 at 12 noon
College of Staten Island, the Lecture Hall Theater, Staten Island, NY
SINY Film Festival

Saturday JUNE 7 at 8pm (Ben Bailey will be at this screening)
Brooklyn College, the Whitman Hall Theater, Brooklyn, NY
SINY Film Festival

tix, directions and info. at http://www.SiFilmFestival.org

TO VOTE:
Just copy and paste “Voting for Don’t Shoot The Pharmacist!” and send email to info@siedc.net

FREE TIX:
You can also get FREE TICKETS by dining at one of the 54 Staten Island Eateries listed in www.SiFilmFestival.org between June 2-June 8.

TRAILER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urzoKcP2Aik
or
http://www.DontShootThePharmacist.com/Trailer.htm

Thanks!
Dave Broitman
http://www.DontShootThePharmacist.com

Circle Of Spite

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Rude, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

Generics are the best way for a government, a health service, a GP practice and a local pharmacy to economise, without putting the patients health or wellbeing at risk.

Yet there are those patients who refuse to believe that generics are the same. They “don’t work the same”, “make me feel sick”, “have odd side effects”, “consultant says I should have…”. One word-BULLSHIT.

IT’S ALL THE FUCKING SAME PEOPLE!!!

Par example, a woman in her 70’s today. She condecends to pay us a visit every….3 months (checked the computer). Apparently the pharmacist here is ALWAYS a man (strange considering the last manager was a woman…). So she has a script for flucticasone aq nasal spray (anti-allergy). So, I dispense as on prescription the generic. She leaves the shop. 2 minutes later she’s back demanding the brand, Flixonase. I can’t give her it because we have stock of generic-”but the other pharmacist always gives me it-hes SOOO much nicer than you”. I explain to her that, if she has a problem, take it up with her GP. Of course-the GP wrote it for Flixonase. When I showed her it was NOT the case, she asked for it back. I nodded in agreement and went back to work…..

“Can I have a word with you?” (customer) Bear in mind the shop was packed and I was up to my eyes in items waiting to be checked…

This woman gave me a dressing down like you would not believe in front of other customers, just because I obeyed the law and didn’t bend the rules for her. I said nothing, let her have her little rant-which I think made her more angry. Other customers watched and some looked more embarrassed than me. I finished checking the scripts and gave them out personally-each customer giving me a look and smile of compassion and sympathy.

Like Don Corleone, I let her have her rant….embarrass me in front of my regular customers…Why compound the problem by conforming or retaliating? Revenge is a dish best served cold…and when her doctor delivers the message that she is no longer a patient deserving of my attention because she behaved in a ludicrous manner..

Game, Set, Match.

On a sadder note, my second in command is leaving us. I will miss her, but I cannot deny her the freedom she yearns.

Oh, and FAO Scott,

What would you say to me, a pharmacist who is a descendant of one of the possibly greatest pharmaceutical minds of our time? Sir Alexander Fleming? My grandfather was his great nephew, and he was a JOINER in the shipyard, Harland and Wolff, that built many warships and my great uncle, Austin Fleming, was a pharmacist and fought with the Americans during WWII. Probably served alongside a member of YOUR family. Remember that NEXT time. Remember that you are speaking to someone’s daughter, someone’s son; someone’s family. And when you walk out the door of that pharmacy, you may not remember the pharmacists name, you may not care…..

But OTHERS do. They remember the good things about the pharmacist who worked there; how they helped them when they truly needed it. Their names may not be remembered, but their legacies LIVE on because people DO remember. Who the fuck is going to remember a bitter twisted shit like you?

The *Angriest* one’s rant at this guy made it easier for me to complete this blog. Because, at the end of the day, we know who we are, we know what and why we do the job we do; and like many other professions we feel like we deserve better. And when we are gone, people will remember us-some even tell stories. After all, you always hear about “that bastard of a plumber never finished that fuckin’ job!”, never the good things. I always remember going to the pharmacy as a kid, and remembering that, no matter what, the job was always precise and detailed, and you were treated as a person.

And, at the end of the day, I would rather be remembered as “that pharmacist” than “a fucking waster”.

AMA No Dice

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Work Sucks

I got a fax today from the local E.R.

“Patient XXX left the ER today at 1800 after receiving a morphine shot Against Medical Advice. At this time it was discovered that a pad of ER prescriptions was found to be missing. All prescriptions from this ER need to be verified via phone call and will hereafter be pink rather than white.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This drug seeker has found herself a world of trouble. This fax went to every pharmacy in a 50-mile radius as well as every hospital within a reasonable distance. All for what? A fucking shot a morphine that will get her a buzz for less than 6 hours. On top of that, any script she tries to fill at any pharmacy will be scrutinized, verified, and likely canceled.

I sincerely hope she has insurance too. If that’s the case, she’ll have to pay the ENTIRE bill. That’s right folks, if you have insurance and leave AMA, your insurance will not pay a single fucking dime. You get to pay the entire ER/Hospital bill….

What’s the going rate on a shot of Morphine these days? My guess is about $600 when all is said and done.

“Omnipotent” Assholes and Dirty Ol’ (wo)Men….

Posted by LilLaura as Doctors, Lil Laura, Sexy Time, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

This post comprises of the last few weeks of work, which have been unusually uneventful for me…. I start to worry as NOTHING EVER goes quietly for me. I couldn’t write as the last post dive bombed, so I’ll see how this goes, and if I cock up, I shall blog no more.

The *Angriest* one’s funniest post to date (IMHO) comprised of a complete arse of a “pharmacist” (no way was that real) trying to communicate with a patient (which makes me think it is a couple of medical students taking the piss out of our profession-because doctors don’t know or care how the drugs work).

There are two types of medical students-the chilled and relaxed (the minority) and the stressed and partied out (the majority, that become “omnipotent” assholes). So unfortunate that my little sister will fall into the latter category, though my blog is fast becoming an icon amongst the med students in her class-not quite what I intended!! Though a few have decided to try dentistry instead….as they now fear the wrath of the pharmacist!!

Omnipotent….used when describing a god because they are faultless and are never wrong, they know everything. Doctors may play with lives and like to play god, make mistakes like all humans do (otherwise they’d never learn ANYTHING-and usually we pharmacists are their reference guide) yet know FUCK ALL. I always laugh when a patient says they’d rather take their doctors word for it….because the very next week they are banging down your door because the doctor couldn’t be bothered with them! For example, yesterday I had to call for an ambulance for a patient who was suffering from severe dehydration after a bout of food poisoning-which the GP dismissed as “hyperchondrical”…..(fucking knob).

A local doctor (the same one as above, ahem) made the mistake of missing a patients adverse drug reaction to ibuprofen (Advil). I spotted it, reported it and did my duty. The doctor said to just dispense the prescription (”omnipotent” asshole). I told the patient that if he had any further trouble to talk to the doctor, as I was overruled. Like Pilate, I washed my hands….

Now, for the Dirty Ol’ (wo)men. Now, you’d think that for all the censorship, rules and regs we have to face in our personal lives, that those that set the standard originally would adhere to it-apparently this is not the case in Bonnie Scotland….

Last week, a woman, in her 70s asked to speak to me. In front of other customers, she proceeded to describe how itchy her lips were and that the doctor had given her a cream for them. I could see nothing wrong, until she uttered the words that nearly put me off sex for life “NO, not those lips dear. The lips DOWN UNDER” and pointed. Nice. Then there’s the “confident” (i.e. limp) men over the age of 60 getting Viagra for free, and they ALWAYS wink at me when I hand them their items (shudder). The worst has to be a man in his 90s (yes, over NINETY YEARS OLD), telling me that my name was very “Victorian” and he imagined me in a corset and crinoline dress… Never have I felt so used….

I think as a pharmacist you develop immunity as you always have to appear professional. When it happens to my staff though, I really laugh. These are women 20 years older than me, and they still get embarrassed, even though they’ve probably seen it all before! A member of my staff got very embarrassed the other day as she was witnessing a man take his trousers off-she froze and didn’t know what to do! Thankfully he had another pair on under them! HAHAHAHAHA! I stood watching her face getting redder and him wrestling with his trousers in front of a shop full of people. Fair enough, I probably should have intervened, but I couldn’t. (Probably the reason why I have an impacted wisdom tooth now, and am on antibiotics-which means that the alcoholic beverages are out for the next week, and the pain of it makes me VERY bitchy.Karma).