The *Angriest* Pharmacist You want your prescription filled when? Eat shit…

How to get a Prior Authorization — RN-style

This is a message for all you nurses out there. This post is now the PREMIER AUTHORITY on how to get prior authorizations -- in  STEP BY STEP FASHION. It's an overly simple 4 and 1/2  step process.  As a wonderful "side effect" of this process, you will waste at least one week of a pharmacist's time and, an added bonus, really piss them off as well. It's a win-win for every RN!

4) REPLY TO ALL FAXES REQUESTING YOU GET A PRIOR AUTHORIZATION BY SIGNING IT AND AUTHORIZING "1+2" REFILLS. This is a GREAT way to both waste a pharmacist's time and really frustrate them. In most instances, they've told the patient 48-72 hours. By replying to the fax with refills, you show that you really want the patient to get the medicine, but it shows the pharmacy that you've got better things to do than read their stupid faxes. To really put a cherry on top of this one, schedule the fax to send at 4:55pm. This will ensure that even if the fax even goes through successfully in the first place, the pharmacy can't contact you again until the next day because the phones cut off at 5pm on the dot (and you cut out at 4:30pm in the first place)!

3) When they call you the next morning, make sure they have to leave you a voicemail. If you're feeling particularly randy, respond to that with a copy of the fax from the day before and a SNARKY  NOTE at the bottom of the fax. Some suggestions for the note are:
"Authorized (1+2) yesterday. Is your fax machine working?"
"I got your VM -- here's the auth you need. Thought I faxed this yesterday. WEIRD!!
You could also just skip the reply all together...

2) When they finally get a hold of you at the end of the second or the third day, tell them your office's standard is at least 3-5 business days on a PA Request. Tell them you'll get back with them at the beginning of next week. After you say this, don't do anything. Don't even ATTEMPT to get the prior authorization. Why you ask? Duh -- the pharmacist will probably call and remind you again on Tuesday or Wednesday when you actually need to do it anyway. Out of sight out of mind! [If you wanna be a real bitch, at this point you need to send another refill authorization in to pharmacy. No note this time -- you don't want to appear "catty."]

1) After they call you Wednesday, if it's a different pharmacist than the one you talked to the previous week you need to go off on him. Make a huge scene. Act as if everything that was sent in and you cannot figure out why the pharmacy refuses to fill the prescription. When they explain the PA Process to you, acknowledge it, say you'll get right on top of it, and completely ignore every word of it. At this point you need to go straight to your doctor and tell them the following, "Doc, I don't know what the heck is wrong with Walgreens. They are pretty much refusing to fill Mr. Johnson's _________.  I've dealt with several different members of their staff. I've faxed in the prescription at least two different times, called it in once, and I can't seem to get them to fill it!" Then, the doctor will call and ABSOLUTELY TEAR THAT STUPID PHARMACIST A NEW ONE! Sit back and laugh. You've done a good job. You've waste almost a week of the pharmacist's time, and you've not had to do much work or call for the PA.

Final Step) Now, when the doctor returns to you,  he'll explain to you that they just need you to get a PA. They'll be so scared of the doctor, they won't say anything about your prior shenanigans. Your response should be, "Well, why didn't they just SAY THAT!?! STUPID PHARMACISTS!" He will agree and, at this point, you need to call the pharmacy again and have them fax you the information on how to get the Prior Authorization. They will probably say something about how they sent you the information -- just tell them you never got anything. Now, buckle down and actually get the PA...dag nabbit!!

And that is how you get a PA!